Bad shopping habits…

[SameColourButInSuede]

I have become high earner in the last two years and after 45 years of life of mainly have not / living frugally, I feel that I have gone off the rails and began shopping too much. By many standards, I still have very little but I have invested in good quality and never am stuck for somebody nice to wear. But I am worried that I am shopping now for fun and to have more, rather than because I actually need to. There is just always something new I love and will find a way to justify the spend. In quantity - probably 2 or 3 bigger items per months like a dress or a top and socks etc couple of time per month.

No sure if it’s addiction or insecurity or just greed, but I do not like it and yet everyone seems to be updating their wardrobes. And equally, wardrobe is still half empty and some items are years old. Not sure what I am asking really but it feels like I am building a perfect wardrobe that is never finished.

I think a lot of women feel like this. I have a bursting wardrobe, with loads of beautiful clothes. But I have nothing to wear… And always in search of that ever elusive magic item!

Have a total break for, say, six months? I did this and it helped me see what I already had / curtailed my slightly compulsive tendency to acquire stuff. Realised the sense of need was mostly in my head - having enough clothes already to cover my modesty / for most occasions.

I have also discovered that the world won’t end if I don’t buy that top, skirt etc, no matter how nice it is.

If you earn well is a top, a dress and some socks breaking the bank? If not enjoy what you earn. I say this as someone who saves well and prioritises financial security, but I still have fun money each month.
Set yourself an amount of disposable income each month that's within the budget you are comfortable with.

But if you bought necessary clothes, surely it doesn’t matter? Is it just that you’re panicking you won’t always have the money? It’s not a bad thing to enjoy shopping just obviously you don’t want to go buying for the sake of buying, but it doesn’t sound like you do that!

Then set a budget.

Even if it’s £50 a month clothes shopping - save up for bigger items.

This gives you permission to spend whilst having control.

We’ve just been away on holiday and I didn’t buy one single item of clothing - This made me feel good!

Equally I do need a decent winter coat.

If you go on Vinted you will be amazed at the type of clothes from expensive brands in perfect condition that you can buy for very little. I would now really object to spending decent money on something new that you could probably get from Vinted.

And if you sort through the clothes you already own you will probably have loads to sell. Which might make you feel silly for buying them for full price in the first place (speaking from experience). Which might help with the shopping habit?

I honestly cannot imagine a wardrobe ever being finished. That would be the equivalent of one’s brain ceasing to evolve while you’re still alive.

A wardrobe should be dynamic, reacting to both the zeitgeist and your own evolving circumstances and state of mind. If it isn’t changing at all then that surely indicates a slightly miserable stasis in one’s life?

You indicate you’ve only recently had this increased spending power. After a lifetime of having to be careful - why not enjoy this new stage? Obviously don’t bankrupt yourself, but there’s no reason at all why you shouldn’t experiment with new options and styles and levels of quality.

You have other major life changes still to come - they’ll each prompt another reassessment of what you want from your wardrobe. Maybe in three years you’ll want to sell or give away half of what you now own? Maybe you’ll give up your career and take up dry stone walling, or take a five year sabbatical to wander the Far East? Whatever. Indulging oneself is not automatically a cause for shame or excoriation. You’ve earned a period of frivolity - just enjoy it.

I think it's because we're constantly being marketed all these new things. Seasons change and then we need to adapt our waldrobe accordingly. I'm not one to follow trends but something new might come out that you do like. I went through a stage of liking neutrals and then suddenly wanting some bright colours to spruce it up. And then I decided I wanted to invest in better materials. As soon as I feel like I've almost completed it, I see something else. It's not easy (or cheap) to keep a waldrobe versatile. I actually try to avoid town now unless I specifically need something because if I can't see it, I can't want it.

I have a certain amount of money each month that's mine to spend as a please with no guilt. It's not a huge amount, a few months ago I bought a new perfume for £60, the month after it was a book for £10, this month it will be lunch in town with a friend that will cost about £70. My partner spent £80 on a collectors edition video game and he's happy enough.

We didn't need any of those things but we wanted them, we work hard, all the bills are paid, there's more money in savings this month that the month before.

If you're concerned, stick to a budget, want something expensive that's beyond your budget, save up for it, see if you can control yourself. I'd only worry if you found you can't or more serious, you're spending more than you earn.

Either you have a very large wardrobe, or you aren’t buying as much as you think if your wardrobe is still half empty, and what you’ve got includes old clothes. Are you wearing the new clothes you are buying ? I think it’s only a problem if you can’t afford what you’re buying eg you are going without other things or never saving (or even worse, in debt); and also if you are buying things but not wearing them .