Oxford formal dress

[Tauranga]

Does anyone know what is acceptable for an Oxford formal dinner for women?

Men are in white bow ties and tails or kilts.

I saw a full length navy dress with off the shoulder long sleeves
https://www.ralphlauren.co.uk/en/rib-knit-amp-crepe-off-the-shoulder-gown-100067560.html?cgid=women-clothing-jumpsuits#prefn1=websize&prefv1=14&start=1&cgid=women-clothing-jumpsuits

Or this
https://www.ralphlauren.co.uk/en/crepe-off-the-shoulder-gown-658565.html?cgid=women-clothing-jumpsuits#prefn1=websize&prefv1=14&start=1&cgid=women-clothing-jumpsuits

I know they are expensive but I will basically wear the same dress for 4 years as will maybe go twice a year, and no one will remember probably!

I have no where else to wear a dress like this, so any cheaper suggestions welcome roo, many thanks !

Which college is this? It sounds very formal compared to what I was used to at Cambridge (in my college as long as you had a gown on it was fine for formal hall, though mostly the men wore suit and tie or at least shirt and trousers, and women would dress up a bit, depending on the occasion, typically nice dress or something like that. Christmas party or birthday meal out sort of clothes. Not ball gown. )

A white tie dinner is very formal. Long dress, tasteful, prom dress like but not off the shoulder. Quality jewellery, pashmina

White tie is unusual — generally it’s black tie, and then women wear anything from cocktail dress to long dresses. For white tie the general rule is long dresses; but without knowing the event it’s hard to say precisely what style. Is it a college feast for fellows and guests, and you’re about to take up a fellowship or similar? In my experience the younger women wear long dresses or ball dresses to those (not big puffy prom-type ones though!); and older women wear cocktail dress or slightly less dressy long dresses. Or even a dressy trouser suit.

The second one of the ones you’ve posted is more like the sort of thing, especially if you have to wear a gown on top. But most people won’t be wearing anything really expensive.

White tie for women is generally a long evening gown, doesn't need to be any particular colour, fairly conservative. Can be a more fitted look. If its a regular formal dinner people won't be in very expensive clothes, at least no need to be. If you google Oxford formal dinner you will get lots of photos with sort of things women wear.

Are you absolutely sure it is white tie? Not black tie? Traditionally white tie is usually full length but these days a lot of slightly older women do not wear long dresses at all, I never have. Formal dinner is not that formal, shovel a gown on top, and for formal formal dinners, say once a term, something sparkly will be fine. I wouldn't even wear a long dress for a ball but I am mid-fifties and I did when I was young.

Vinted is amazing for formalwear as it's the type of thing people buy, wear once, and then try to sell on so it's usually flooded with stuff.

I agree with googling the event and seeing what people wear.

Just for comparison, I’m in my forties and I usually wear something like this to formal college dinners/feasts; my older colleagues tend to wear something sparkly or sequinned with more coverage and sleeves; my younger colleagues tend to wear long dresses that are a bit more glam — usually with a lower neckline, no sleeves, maybe a bit more glitter or colour and higher shoes.

You definitely don’t need long gloves or anything super expensive or flashy!

Sorry pics didn’t attach first time!

Thank you all so much!

It is Trinity College, and just the once a week formal dinner. I am not getting an award or accolades, so just a mum wanting to experience Oxford with her son. He is in 1st year so maybe he is wrong about the white tie, but he seemed confident.

I am 50 so happy for a structured dress, those shared by @thecatfromneptune look good, thank you.

I had googled but I think I was too specific, Ill do it again. And I forgot about Vinted!!!

Thank you all, I knew you would help xxxx ♡

Very unlikely for a weekly dinner to be that formal.

As a guest, your clothes will be slightly more 'visible' than others who have the college gown on top, but still it is not going to be as fancy as you think. I wouldn't go for something full length or particularly sparkly or anything, unless it's a Christmas special or other special feast day or something like that.

Vinted is great for formal wear, I've been amazed at how cheap and what good quality some of the stuff is. Lots of Phase 8, Whistles, Jigsaw type dresses would be fine.

Yes agree with poster above, if it’s the once a week formal it won’t even be nearly as dressy as the pics I posted and definitely not white tie - more like lounge suit / smart cocktail dress length or the kind of outfit you’d wear for a restaurant or a school play or similar. Can be quite relaxed.

Your son is probably thinking of subfusc (for the students, with gown), but that’s not the same as white tie dress code. Definitely no £400 gowns needed!

Aha OK, that's good as I can buy something I can wear again.....He is thinking subfusc. Can I ask you all, does that mean he should not wear white tie? He wears a kilt not tails, but now I'm worried he'd be too dressed up too?

My University did not involve subfusc, battles, plodge or pidge's as you can tell haha

I think he is thinking of subfusc too which can include white tie for ceremonies and exams https://www.ox.ac.uk/students/academic/dress has details.

Trinity regular formals it just says on here dress tidily and no formal requirements except gowns for students. So for you anything that you say might wear if going out to a restaurant and knee length would be fine for those.

https://www.trinity.ox.ac.uk/catering

There's no way a term-time formal hall is white tie. It will be black tie (if anything, but even that would be unusually formal) and college members will be in academic gowns. The only white tie event DS is likely to attend is at the Commem Ball. He might be thinking of the subfusc he had to wear for matriculation.

From memory, Trinity is one of the colleges with chairs in Hall so you can wear full-length if you like but cocktail length will be acceptable. My college is one of the ones with long benches in Hall, except at the High Table, and long or very tight skirts are contraindicated!

I think there's very few white tie events, maybe a couple of colleges balls.

Important to say that there is a distinction between subfusc, which includes a white tie, and the White Tie dress code, which is tails, waistcoat, dress trousers, patent dress pumps etc.

Thank goodness I asked !
I will look at something more normal, thank you all so much.

I just found this for Trinity and it looks like it depends a bit whether it's regular formal to which can bring guest (smart casual) or guest night formal (pic in description and more dressy/ black tie)

http://www.trinitymcr.com/meals

Might be worth checking if seating is long benches (it was at my Cambridge college) and you need to be able to put legs over bench to sit down.

Trinity has chairs. My college does not. I lost a beloved but very tight pencil skirt to the benches in 2003.

Yes the students may be in subfusc and academic gowns, but guests will be wearing something much less formal — eg. lounge suit or shorter dress & jacket/smart trouser suit for women, more like a reasonably smart restaurant. What you’d wear to, say, somewhere like the Ivy brasseries. Too dressy is a definite no-no, and if there are academics there on high table they may well be wearing just their ordinary clothes plus gown.

Yes to kilt for him if he wants- the students sometimes dress up at formals because it’s a bit of fun, but everyone else is more dressed down.

If you’re a fellow, there are actually often regular guest nights/feasts which are black tie & ball gown or even black tie “plus decorations”. Real white tie & tails is very rare!

It sounds like he is taking you to guest night which is black tie - you can see details and a couple of pics here (this is for the MCR but it's the same event for everyone.)

https://www.trinitymcr.com/meals

The dresses thecatfromneptune posted would be perfect

Enjoy!

Subfusc is formal academic dress. It would be unusual for a dinner to require subfusc unless it follows a formal academic event. Much more likely to be black tie plus gowns.

Yes, this was the key distinction if you went to a guest dinner at another college!

OP, but something perfectly normal that you’re likely to wear again. I rotated the same couple of Oxfam black dresses for my entire Oxford career.