Lost my style after baby 3 - where to begin?

[OrangeSlices998]

Hello all,

I feel like I need some help! I’m 9m post birth, and I feel fat & frumpy, I have no idea what to wear or how to look good and still feel comfy chasing after kids. I’m still breastfeeding but weaning down so desperate for clothes that aren’t boob access dependent!

I don’t want to be trendy or whatever I just want to dress my age (36) and feel good, I have absolutely no idea how to find what ‘suits’ or just basics that feel good. I’ve been pregnant/breastfeeding the last 5y I need help!

work out;

your body type eg rectangle, hour glass, pear, inverted triangle etc. by knowing what suits you, you won’t waste time trying on things that won’t work.

your best and worst features eg shapely legs, slim waist. you want to look and feel good, so focus on your best features.

your colour palette - whether you are spring, summer, autumn or winter. if you stick broadly fo a colour palette, your wardrobe will mix and match.

there are resources on line for all of the above. It will take time to identify the correct items, but it will make it easier in the long run.

the place i would start would be getting a decent bra as your clothes will look much better. then focus on the staples - for me, that’s jeans and t-shirts and then you can build it up from there.

For breastfeeding I just wore a stretchy vest under whatever top I was wearing so I could do the pull up pull down trick and never had to wear ‘maternity clothes’.

Do you have clothes or a style you prefer?

I'm still breastfeeding my.1 yr old but the only thing I can't wear when with them is normal dresses really. Which I wouldn't typically wear when with young kids anyway as don't find them practical day to day. So I don't think breastfeeding should be much of a restriction and of course if you really want dresses there are nursing brands.

I'd just buy what you like and feel comfortable in! If you feel comfortable you will look and feel more confident

When I was in your position I bought myself a few new bits which helped me get back on track but the trick was to get them cheap enough (Sainsbury’s etc) that I didn’t feel I was wasting money on clothes I hoped (and did!) end up being too big when I lost the weight. Also, you won’t worry about wearing your new things if they’re cheap and easily washable (no point wearing cashmere when caring for small children - you need to be able to bung everything in the wash!).
So go and buy a pair of jeans (perhaps cropped, wide leg which can be worn with chunky boots - practical for pushing a pushchair in etc). Also buy a few long sleeve cotton tops to layer under things, and a couple of nice knits. If you can, find cotton ones which wash well/easily without special wool washes etc. Start taking a few more minutes - it literally is a few - to style hair/put on make up/do nails (whatever makes you feel ‘you’ again). If you start somewhere you’ll go from there and find your mojo again very quickly. The small children years are a style challenge to be honest, so be kind to yourself! And it really doesn’t matter - only in so much as you need to feel you are important too.

@OrangeSlices998 I shouldn't really comment as im looking a bit tired and shit but for the school run, this is me :

Keep your hair looking decent - brush it fully through whenever you can.

Get a good colour for your hair
Splash of lipstick
Avoid leggings: try and get some flared trousers if you must (so cheap at h&m).

Cheap fitted tops, nothing too baggy which hides you away
Casual jacket - i wear a cargo one but casual blazers work (zara, h&m)
Good bra/underwear
Good comfy stylish trainers or shoes - i initially bought walking trainers because they were practical but they just made me look like frankenstein walking! Replaced for Hokas!
Essentially try not to keep good stuff for special occasions, just wear them
Perfume - any

My issue was I couldn't be bothered with myself. I looked great going out somewhere nice but day to day, i looked bad. I just didn't think i deserved to. Small steps show you and your child that you are happy in yourself and you deserve to feel good. I have tons from h&m as they do new styles well and cheaply, and deliver for free.

There used to be a phenomenal Facebook group called can I breastfeed in it and it had loads of different people posting outfits so there were lots of different ideas and styles. And tbh I missed it once I left the group sometime after I stopped breastfeeding.might be worth seeing if it still exists?