Black tie June wedding guest in their 50s …. What would you wear??

[sciaticafanatica]

As title says. Been invited to a wedding in June and invite says black tie.
im in my 50’s a size 16 and hate wearing heels.
any suggestions?

@sciaticafanaticajust wear evening wear! That’s black tie. It’s an actually quite easy and you might even own something suitable.

These are all currently on Mytheresa under cocktail dresses and are pricey. The dark red one with feathers is Self Portrait. Depending on your figure you could wear any of these next summer but the Self Portrait one is more for winter. These are just ideas but I think are perfect for black tie

MyTheresa dresses are all north of £500. Would help if @sciaticafanatica could give an approx budget. Personally I would not spend £500 on a dress I would only anticipate wearing once.

Well perhaps that's your experience but in the UK I've never been to a black tie event like that. Only very occasionally seen women wearing cocktail dresses at black tie and I would feel out of place so better to err on the side of caution.

@Ohdear111 White tie for women is definitely long and maybe even gloves, but I don't think anyone does white tie any more except like state banquet events!

Sidebar but the teal outfit sounds stunning

Well perhaps that's your experience but in the UK I've never been to a black tie event like that.

2 of my dresses I posted were bought in Amsterdam but I'm in the UK. Been going to black tie dos, in the UK for over 35 years. A formal ball will be full length- a black tie dinner has all lengths and trousers and jumpsuits.

Been to many black tie weddings - any length works as long as it's "dressy", does not have to be long.

They are all just right. They hit the right tone - not under dressed and equally important not over- dressed.

There's no examples on this thread but on some black tie threads you see way OTT, Oscar red carpet styles, which can look as bad in real life as under dressing.

So far as your selection all being from MyTheresa, they're examples of the look- and cheaper options are available.

The amount of disagreement on this thread about what constitutes black tie/white tie/cocktail and all social events between just goes to show that these days no one is going to faint whatever you wear- as long as it looks as though you have dressed up!

@bluewhitebluewhite White tie is unusual but DD has been to a few and they aren’t state banquets!

Black tie is more relaxed and I posted ideas.

@RandomGeocache I posted ideas. I don’t know what the budget is but it’s possible to buy similar for less. Self Portrait aren’t the most expensive to buy for a special occasion. There’s always sales too!

Don't over think this. Buy something you feel fabulous in that is on the dressy side. Add a bit of bling, diamond earrings (don't have to be real), a lovely necklace and a nice bag.

I went to similar this summer - wore a Reiss dress - maxi at back midi at front and gold block heels. Comfortable wedges would also work

It's much more relaxed than that for women in the UK and even back in the 1980s women wore little black dresses when men were wearing black tie, not full length dresses. White tie/tails or very formal military dos= ball gowns. A smart day dress with smart shoes and jewellery would fit the bill, certainly at a summer wedding.

Can't believe people are suggesting heavy jacquard frocks, OP would boil in June! Smart lightweight dress and sandals, no hat or fascinator required.

Here's a couple of ideas, OP.

https://www.jdwilliams.co.uk/shop/p/jo925

https://www.jdwilliams.co.uk/shop/p/es128

"It means no one changes for the evening do."

Well no, why would they at any wedding? How, even would they change unless it was in a hotel or they could nip home 😆?

I've been to 30+ weddings in the UK and no-one changed for the evening do, ever.

I wouldn't worry too much about the black tie thing. Highly unlikely all the men will actually be in tuxedos, I can't see DH bothering to hire one if we were invited to a black tie wedding. Any reasonably smart dress that you would wear to a wedding will be fine.

Dress codes like this are an imposition and aren't mandatory. I'm someone who would always be more uncomfortable overdressed than underdressed so I'd not be trying to work out what black tie means in the context and just wear one of the dresses I already have. And no heels! No occasion is worth the pain of heels.

Indeed. We went to one wedding with a 4 hour gap in the middle and a suggestion that there was a change to black tie for the evening. Everyone thought it was utterly bizarre and nobody did. We all got out of our ceremony clothes into jeans, headed into town for the afternoon then came back and put the same clothes on from the morning.

Really? Your husband wouldn't wear black tie to an event that specified black tie?

Although tbh, I think "black tie" for a wedding is weird unless it starts late afternoon. Is "black tie" , like "cocktail" dress now being misused to mean "try to make some effort and please no jeans and trainers"?

See I'd have loved that. So would husband- he'd take any opportunity to get into his dinner suit.

Dunno. He might. I have no idea how much they cost to hire and the idea of hiring something for a wedding when he has plenty of entirely suitable suits and shirts would annoy me. He might want to though.

I'd be really surprised if everyone did. The only time I've been invited to a black tie wedding the attitude generally was very "huh, how American. No ta". About 50% of the men changed to black tie for the evening.

@DappledThings Ar the weddings DD has been to, that’s not the case. Black tie for men has been adhered to with evening suit etc. You cannot assume they don’t mean what they say. It’s fairly normal for guests to change if everyone is staying at a hotel. If they start late there isn’t a gap for guests to clear off - rather odd to do that.

Anyone organising a wedding can specify a dress code and black tie is fairly straightforward. Most men can rustle up a velvet jacket or similar and a bow tie. I think my DD might go for this at her wedding but she knows everyone will get on board with it. Luckily few relatives and no awkward squad.