Has colour ruined my curly hair?

[Suuudohnym]

Took years of experimenting, trying (and ditching!) the Curly Girl Method to get my hair looking good. Finally got to a stage where I absolutely loved it - shiny, bouncy ringlets with a really simple routine.

Throughout that time, I’ve been using a specialist curly hair hairdresser. I started getting my roots coloured every 3ish months as the first greys were coming through - no bleach. Never coloured my hair before. Over the next couple of years, my curls started to drop and I’m now at the point where it’s mostly wavy with one or two curls if I’m lucky - and I’m gutted.

I’m sure it must be the colour - but my hairdresser is adamant it’s not that. Before anyone suggests it, no, I really don’t believe she’s just trying to convince me to continue to get expensive colours done by her! In fact, she’s genuinely frustrated and quite upset about how my hair looks now. She’s convinced it’s hormonal - but I’ve no reason to believe I’m menopausal.

It’s like the structure has completely changed. Damp weather or a steamy bath or shower used to make my curls spring up even more. But now, steam just makes my hair fluffy (and still mostly straight).

I’ve tried EVERY product - bond builders, deep conditioners, lighters ones, gentle shampoos, moisturising ones, all the gels…nothing works.

I’m so gutted. My hair just looks a mess all the time.

Have I just got to stop colouring and have sparkly grey roots and streaks throughout my hair (and probably look like a witch?!!)

Any stories of hope?!!

I’ve found my hair has changed over the years due to age/hormones.

I’m 45 and over the last two years, it’s gone quite curly (always been wavy, but nothing like this). It was also quite curly when I was 12-15 then just went back to wavy.

My ds has curly hair until he was 4, then it was straight. He’s 23 now and he has curly hair again.

Hmmm, I can’t remember colour destroying my hair. Bleach definitely did. Haven’t coloured it in years now though.

I go through patches when my hair seems to lose its curl. Last time I discovered it was really missing protein so I tried the Merwave leave in protein stuff and it sprang back up again. My hair is incredibly fine but also thick so gets weighed down easily. Finding the right products is a challenge!

Colour doesn’t affect my curly hair but every now and then my hair benefits from a clarifying shampoo and protein treatment. Maybe this would help?

@Peteryourhorseisheree yes, I suppose I should expect my hair to change - but it just looks so awful. I dread going out anywhere where I need to get dressed up because it looks such a mess - like I haven’t bothered doing it ☹️

@TheBirdintheCave my hair is very fine too - protein sometimes helps a little but I never get a drastically good result.

@Wemdubz ooh yes, I love a good clarify. In fact, when my hair was looking fab, it was because I was following the advice of WelshieCurlyGirl on insta who recommends (for fine curly hair) always using a strong shampoo (as fine hair gets build up easily), using a leave-in conditioner as a rinse out, then just a gel - that was just the perfect routine for me. Every wash day for months, it looked gorgeous! But that just doesn’t work now

Thanks for posting this,OP-I'm going to save the thread as exactly the same has happened to me. I had corkscrew curls from age 19, 1991, when a pal at uni told me to stop brushing it and use an Afro comb, until 2013, and then after this it's just got progressively less curly. A couple of people have commented on it too. Pah. A hairdresser told me dye shouldn't have caused this, but oddly enough it improved when I dyed it with henna, which is unfortunately v messy. Other people have also told me the quality of hair changes as you get older. Mine improves when it's shorter and it has improved a bit of late as I've packed a v stressful job in.

It must be so much harder if you’ve always been happy with your hair. I’ve always looked like I’ve been dragged through a hedge backwards, so the changes haven’t bothered me, I know I look shit!

I hope you find a solution soon and get it looking the way you want again.

@SpiritVaults72 yes, my hairdresser actually thought the dye was helping my hair at first as it just got curlier and curlier for the first few dyes - but then the opposite happened. Frustrating isn’t it??!

@Peteryourhorseisheree have you tried a curly hair hairdresser? They might be able to bring the best out in your hair.
Yes, I felt like after years of trying to get back the curls of my childhood, I finally achieved it and had a brief couple of years of knowing what it felt like to have hair that people compliment you on and that made me feel pretty. But it was short-lived 😫

Noooo, I don’t do curly hair! I prefer it straight. And part of the reason I look so crap is one cut and dyed my hair myself for years, can’t afford a hairdresser!

@Suuudohnym you may well have seen Manes by Mell on YouTube or elsewhere but she has the most wonderful curly hair and is a trained stylist. She has tons of videos, and I suspect what she doesn't know about curls isn't worth knowing- she gets very technical. She's very entertaining too. I'm gonna watch 'em all one day,when I have time😊

I used to have wavy hair, but now it's completely straight. I'm also losing a lot of hair. It's definitely hormonal for me.

Curly hair is caused when people have oval follicles on their scalps rather than round ones I think. At menopause, lots of hormonal changes can affect the hair follicles which leads to straighter hair for some women.

It's not heat damage is it? My hair went like this after decades of just air drying and then changing to a hairdryer diffuser. I too went to a specialist curly hairdresser and she told me my hairdryer was too hot (turns out it was faulty) and I had to have quite a lot off, layers put in etc.

I've been using K18 since and my god the improvement is miraculous.

I don’t know whether it’s hormones or long covid. I have long covid which messes with bloody everything, but I’m now in 40s, so could also be peri I suppose. I’m also finding hair colour works differently on me now which is odd.

How old are you? I was amazed to find my curls came back after starting HRT, never even considered perimenopause would have an effect on my hair, but it did.

@AncoraAmarena no, I don’t think it’s heat damage - I’ve been diffusing for years and I only have it on a mid heat.

I was recommended K18 and I used it exactly as per the instructions and it made my hair even straighter!!

I know of Manes by Mel -her hair is gorgeous. I’ve not watched loads of her videos though so maybe I should trawl through them.

I’m 45, by the way.

I’m with your hairdresser- mine changed A LOT towards the frizz when my forties began. I had different textures and curl patterns all over my head- some nice ringlets and some awful frizzy bits, plus coils and waves!
Also my cousin’s hair went straight during her divorce when she was very unhappy, and then recovered afterwards.

I got some good cuts over the last 2 years which really helped, and also added a lovely butter to my hair products, and it’s looking a lot better now- but was weird for probably 5 years, and I ended up with it short.