Matted, tangly hair - perimenopause?

[Catabogus]

I’m in my 40s and for the last couple of years my shoulder-length hair has become very tangled and matted, so much so that I accidentally pull it out when brushing (which hurts!) or sometimes have to cut it out when I just can’t get the brush through.

I’ve always had thick, shiny, wavy hair, but now it’s dry and brittle like straw, which may be causing the matting. I can’t work out whether it’s perimenopause or the very stressful couple of years I’ve had, or some fiendish combination of the two. I’ve also lost quite a lot of hair over the past 2-3 years so it’s much thinner than it was.

Anyway, is there anything I can do about the matting, short of having it all shaved off? All suggestions gratefully appreciated!

Oh, this is interesting, mine is like this too. I am definitely perimenopausal (in my 50s)
The only time I ever had it brushed without it tangling was when a hairdresser put argan oil on it. I have sort of learned to cope with it though - I don't even attempt to brush it while it's wet. I have a wide toothed comb that I use for the first attempt after washing, spray on and leave in conditioner to help with the tangles. When I can be bothered I plait it overnight to save doing it all again in the morning. When I do brush it handfuls come out, and after washing it's everywhere.
I also often put it up into a bun or something as I find the hair rubbing against my collar makes it get matted at the back of my neck. That also helps keep it from getting more tangled.
I'm kind of glad (sorry!) that I'm not the only one. Although writing all this down has made me realise what a total pain it is...

Oh, I’m glad it’s not just me! I have seen lots of posts about dry, dull hair in perimenopause but never anything about matting, except in children. I thought I was the only one, but yours sounds exactly like mine.

I haven’t tried leave-in conditioner- is there a specific one that’s good? I’ve tried just leaving in normal conditioner and that helped a bit, but felt a bit greasy.

I thought there might be a magic miracle shampoo or something. I am prepared to throw money at the problem if it will help! I am so sick of tugging out what feels like half my hair each time I wash or brush it.

I note you mention argon oil - will check this out. Did the hairdresser put it on wet hair?

Yes, she did, I didn't even realise she'd done it until she started combing through and I was shocked. The comb just slid through! As for leave in conditioners, I used to have a Vosene kids one that was quite good. At the moment I've got Child's Farm but I'm not impressed. It smells nice though (grapefruit)
I should probably try the non-kids ones!

Gosh I've just read this in shock! I've been having the same problem for about a year. I'd assumed it was damage from colouring my hair, despite having done it many times before without issue, but I'm now thinking maybe it wasn't. I've found that using an Afro comb in the bath has been the best way to detangle for me. I slather my hair in conditioner, rinse it off, then slather again and use the comb to tease it out working from tip to root. As pp plaiting it overnight helps too.

A silk pillowcase will help.

Don't brush your hair, use a wide-toothed comb.

Plop not rub with the towel after washing.

My hair was awful post pregnancy and bf (dry and matted ends, greasy crown) and the only thing that works on it is the wella professional colour brilliance shampoo for fine to medium hair (pink bottle) plus any decent conditioner. But mainly the shampoo. No, my hair isn’t coloured but this stuff has totally sorted my hair out?! Let me know if you try it and it works. I’d literally thrown everything else at it and this was the only thing that worked bar having a professional blow dry…

NB split ends can cause a sort of stickle brick/velcro effect. Get regular cuts.

I have never coloured my hair (in my life - I’m very boring) so it’s definitely not that for me. If I’d had a lifetime of interesting dyed and bleached hair I’d feel a tiny bit less aggrieved!

An Afro comb sounds good - I will investigate that as well as argon oil.

I have a silk pillowcase and I already plop (assuming this is the thing with the T-shirt instead of rubbing with a towel). I’ve been using both for years but they don’t seem to help any more. This all seems to have come out of nowhere in the last 2-3 years. My hair used to be lovely!

Take a good hair supplement. Biotin is cheap and effective but you can get more complex blends for hair.

Oh interesting! I will give this a go. My hair is exactly like you describe - dry, matted bottom half, slightly greasy crown (especially when I’ve messed around with half a bottle of conditioner).

Sticklebricks! That is exactly what my hair is like.

Also try a bond repair system. Several affordable ones in Boots etc.

I am sworn off Biotin. I started taking it when my hair started falling out, until my fingers and toes started tingling and a blood test showed my B vitamin levels were through the roof. Definitely don’t want to risk that again!

I don’t know what this is but will put it on the list! Thank you.

Get some deep conditioner like Aussie, stick it on with a shower cap and leave on as long as possible. I had to massively increase deep conditioning since peri

I have this too at menopause and my hairs used ot be the same as yours.

but mine is a depression nest becasue I had psychosis and never recovered so I stopped washing my hair every day. ive just made another post and I got a lot of tips on there

This pre shampoo with squalane from OGX has been a game changer for my hair. Also combing my conditioner through my hair with a shower comb.