I’ve become scruffy and I want to sort myself out

[Stealabrainrot]

I’ve put on weight, I’m not a huge size but I’d like to lose half a stone. My posture is bad and I’m not really exercising apart from dog walks. My boobs are too big as all the weight goes there and it’s giving me a bad back

I’m bloated all the time probably from IBS/hormones/not eating great. My skins flaring up too.

Because I’ve put on weight and generally feeling run down, I’m opting for joggers and baggy clothes, I can rarely be bothered to put make up on unless I’m in the office. Most of the time if I nip to the shops I just hope nobody sees me.

Part of the problem is that my life is currently just school runs, ferrying kids to school clubs and dog walks. Hardly ever go anywhere remotely nice.

I’m quite happy being casual because it suits my lifestyle, but I’m fed up of looking like an absolute scruff.

Where do I start?

What about booking something just for you once a week that you have to get dressed up for ( whatever that means for you) such as going to a gallery and a nice cafe or just the cafe and a shop or even a cinema solo date.

I’m feeling similar op. It almost always comes down to food! I’m trying to get my 5 a day in as that leaves me less room for the bad food. Some fasting is good too as well as cutting out processed food.
Then I think it comes to feeling mentally and socially stimulated. Can you meet friends?
Or join a social group?
Can you do something that satisfies that learning need we have as humans? A book, a course, a podcast, a documentary?
How are your hair and eyebrows? Those two things make a big difference to stuffy looking or not.

Ah op this was me not long ago

i make sure I put make up on and do my hair every single day as I’m client facing but apart from that I was opting for baggy or leggings and big cardigans etc

no shape in anything I wore as I’ve put on a stone. I need to get it off but I think the baggy clothes were making me feel a lot worse.

two weekends ago we had three different events to go to (never normally happens) and I thought right I need to go and actually clothes shop properly and try loads on and buy the size that does fit properly even though I want to lose weight.

I spent two days in many shops trying on outfits and different cut jeans trousers etc etc and tops and have to say at each even we went to I felt so much more confident and happier and had loads of compliments on how well I looked.

honestly it’s given me a real boost and determination to get off my arse and lose the stone by Xmas.

truth is the new clothes I’ve bought will still fit me but better after losing it

I also make sure I do good skincare routine and I file my feet and massage them with good magnesium butter every weekend.

I don’t paint my nails as it chips easily in my line of work however I have started moisturising my hands a lot more.

also just bought a different perfume to try.

I feel much more happier when I’m looking after myself more and I’m shoe horning the time in for it now

Ah, well - you need to arrange some nice places to go, regularly! Do you never take your children to the theatre or a concert? (Doesn’t require dressing up at all, just looking reasonable.)

In the meantime you need:

A weekly veg box. (This will cut down the amount of processed food you consume as a family.)

A swimming costume. (Perhaps you already swim with your children or by yourself?)

Start with your weekly shop. If rubbish 'food' is not in the house, you can't eat it.

Haircut that's easy to maintain and agree with yourself that you will wash and style it X times a week regardless of whether you are going out.

Lily and Fox nail stickers once a week (life changing).

Clothes that are clean, fit properly and flatter you. Preferably not all black /grey/beige.

Good clean footwear, trainers are fine so long as they're in good condition.

Start to eat better. Concentrate on adding rather than taking away. 20g of fibre a day, at least 5 veg, more meals cooked from scratch, etc.

Walk. Replace a car journey if you can but just a walk at lunchtime will help.

You can do it. You're not asking for a huge makeover, it's all very possible.

Quick fixes:

Every day I put on a skin tint with a bit of glow or a bit of concealer and mascara. Lash lift and tint if you’re up for that - saves time and helps you look fresher and more “done.”
If I’m feeling a bit pale and rubbish some bronzer or cream blush. Takes 2 mins and I look a bit better in real life and less haggard on Teams - I was starting to catch sight of myself and getting a fright.

Upgrade basics - if you’re always ferrying kids about or walking dogs treat yourself to a nice flattering waterproof or winter coat, boots, trainers, leggings or whatever. You’ll feel a bit better. Don’t need to spend a lot, just items that fit well. Wide leg joggers or trousers are on trend and still comfy - M&S have loads. I wear black wide leg tie waist trousers with my tshirts / jumpers / sweatshirts. All else fails get some great sunglasses you can shove on. Treat yourself to a nice piece of simple jewellery - necklace, earrings, watch, whatever. That’s your “uniform” jewellery,
to wear with your basics (I have small chunky silver hoops.) Makes your leggings / sweatshirt / trainers look a bit more polished.

Replace socks, underwear with well fitting decent ones.

Plan some nice things to look forward to and have a reason to dress up a bit more . Dog walk but stop for a nice pub lunch after so you’ve a reason to wear a bit of makeup and do your hair. Coffee somewhere fancy.

I read a poster that was in a cute little independent dress shop that said - “Life is a special occasion”.

I loved it so much that now I dress nicely just to pop to the shops. Makes me feel good!

I highly recommend Pilates to help with your posture - plus it’s a great exercise. I do it once a week and it has made my core so strong.

Having a good skincare routine and using an SPF 50 daily and drinking loads of water.

Apart from the rags I wear only at home all my clothes are super nice - so I have no option but to wear them to the supermarket, or Post Office, or wherever.

@Stealabrainrot you don’t need to do anything effortful or scary - but if you want to feel / look better you do have to do something.

Nutrition and activity and a haircut are what will make the most significant difference.

A yoga mat

A hula hoop

A skipping rope

All easy to use at home once you’ve done the school run. There’s an inexhaustible supply of support, guidance and instruction for each of them online.

I absolutely understand…me too! I shower and put hair in a damp messy bun then stick some clothes on for an early dog walk tell myself I’ll change later…nope! I end up in the shops looking like a scarecrow. I work from home and am single so have no need to look presentable but sometimes I wonder if I can claw it back if necessary 😭 I like the idea someone posted about once a week doing something like a gallery. Hope you get some inspiration OP

1. Burn. The. Joggers.

Ah OP, this was me 18 months ago. It was all down to the extra weight with me. I wouldn't buy nice clothes because I didn't want to spend good money on big sizes. I hated my reflection and just wore loose joggers and big t-shirts, mostly black and grey. I felt, and looked, old (I'm 59).

I used mounjaro to lose the weight, and as it came off I felt better. I had 4 stone to lose.

Another thing that helped me was getting a big dressing table with large light up mirror. It sounds a bit random, but I was able to sort out all my skincare and make-up in one place and in easy reach and I've stuck to a proper cleansing and make-up routine every morning and night. I also did the Caroline Hirons skin quiz and started using the right products for my skin type.

Another thing I plan to do, but haven't got round to yet, is have a personal styling session at John Lewis. Its free and there's no minimum spend. I'll go with DSis and make an occasion of it.

I feel so much better and get loads of compliments now that I've got the 'old' me back.

You'll get there OP 💛

I've had similar issue with just feeling really badly put together but not wanting complete overhaul. I've been following and seeing styling/make up videos on tiktok/insta and have made a few small but important changes that really do help. Part of it of course is buying a few new pieces of clothing - even if casual - that just feel good and look good and fit well. decent jeans or a jumper etc.

But I've also made an effort to just "style' myself slightly more. Today, i'm WFH and I'm wearing my favourite wide legged jeans and I've added a white shirt that I've done a bit of a tuck in the front and I'm wearing a nice belt. I'm at home alone (althouh doing school run later) and I spent some time on my make up this mornign becuase I'm experimenting with different combinations of foundation and application methods.

Sometimes it's as simple as adding jewellery. And mctually, my next upgrade is going to be about adding new jewellery to my collection - just costume stuff but that offers me a few additional styling options as I've only got very simple, high quality stuff, and large statement costume jewellery without anything in between.

Why not join us on the princessing thread. 100 day challenge of consistently doing small things to help your health and wellbeing. We are a king and friendly bunch

Wish you well with all this @Stealabrainrot !

Just wanted to mention, in case you haven’t checked for causes already, bloating that lasts more than 3 weeks, bloating regularly ( more than 12 times a month) OR bloating in various other circumstances must be checked out by a GP. See nhs.uk for the full list.

Clean clothes and ironing - you look much better in ironed clothes in my opinion and nothing beats the feeling of putting on a crisp top or smoothly ironed trousers.
And clean shoes, well cut hair. Lipstick and a necklace et voila!

Not bloody likely!

By the way, @Stealabrainrot, what is all this nipping to the shops? They’re bad places, full of crisps and biscuits and sugary drinks.

Disciplined grocery delivery is the true route to happiness …