61, tall fat and ugly - need inspiration!

[Mumwithbaggage]

That's it really. I have mousy/grey very fine hair above shoulder length and I'm pale, am currently losing weight gradually but am size 20 - at 5'10 I feel like a great ugly lump. I need some style. I buy stuff from Boden, M and S, Joanie but never feel put together.

I've been doing 3/4 classes or sessions a week at the gym since Christmas and have definitely toned up. I just want some clothes that look nice. Doesn't help that we're having a short term financial blip (nerly sorted) so money is tight right now.

I hate it if anyone comes near me with a camera. Shorter friends make me look like a giant, slim or chubby.

I need to find a style I love rather than clothes I wear. I do some tutoring and a few days supply in schools - no issues dressing for hat. It's my non work wardrobe after years of dressing like a teacher that needs a boost.

Any suggestions for people to follow on instagram or similar? Thanks! Just want to get my act together! I'm away for a few days in October and would love to look put together for that.

I'm similar, here for the suggestions rather than any help I'm afraid. Next to my petit friends I always feel like a man in drag if i try to be feminine 😬 given up on dresses and stick to jeans, t-shirts and hoodie.🤷‍♀️

Try Uniqlo. I find their clothes really flattering
and get a good hair cut/ colour and your eyebrows done

But don't you sometimes just want to look cool? That's all I'm looking for. It's so hard when you're tall. I think it's height more than weight that gets me. Weight I can change,

Uniqlo are all far too short sadly. Arms, legs, body, everything. It's the same with many brands - stuff just doesn't sit at the right length. I've booked my eyebrows to be re-done next week. Had them done for the first time before ds's wedding earlier this year and it definitely made me more polished.

Same… I feel like a clumsy lumbering giant
around men I feel fine but next to women I feel like I should be deadlifting them or something

Hi OP. It’s sad that you feel this way. I bet you don’t look anywhere near as bad as you feel that you do! I’m sure that a few new items will bring back your confidence.

I’m 5ft 11, so understand how you feel about standing out, but I generally no longer feel very conscious about being tall (though I did when I was younger). I’m 37 and a size 10, but I’ve found that keeping things quite minimal and classic seems to work well for me. I tend not to suit very “girlie” clothes such as sundresses and loud colours and patterns, as I also feel a bit like a drag queen. I like a well-fitting pair of jeans and a top - maybe a silky blouse or a cashmere jumper. I think the cooler weather helps too, as layers and a long coat can look great on a tall person.

I wear a lot of clothes from Cos. Jeans are from Topshop (tall) or Levi’s or Frame.

Buy from Vinted and use it to experiment with a few different styles.
i Agee that finding someone with a style you admire and with a similar build would be really helpful.

I agree with @Stingnation that classic shapes work well and I mostly stick to more muted colours as I think it looks expensive. I'm tall too but happily so. Things that work well are shift dresses (Audrey Hepburn was tall and nobody looks as good in a shift dress as she did), wide legged trousers with a fitted top, shirt dresses with a belt, more fitted trousers with a shirt (Uma Thurman in Pulp Fiction style - another gorgeous tall lady).

For brands I really like Reiss, Next tall is good and I buy a lot in M&S. Cos good too though I have to pick through some of the more out there stuff. Getting boots that were the right length from Duo has made a massive difference to finishing off my outfits. It gets mixed reviews but I found the John Lewis personal shopper service absolutely brilliant. They can find things that fit you which does away with the demoralising picking things out that look ok then trying them on and discovering they are too short that comes with being a tall person.

Please do get your eyebrows done because it sounds as though that gave you a boost and it's a shame to see the way you talk about yourself. Have you ever had a lash lift? You might like that too. Getting brows, lashes and nails done could give you the femininity boost you seem to feel you're lacking.

Thanks for the advice - I've never bought from Cos or Reiss so will have a look.

I think you're right - cooler weather is easier. I've been trying to wear dresses and it's not really me. And yes, you've hit the nail on the head about the feminity thing. I mean, I'm not really ugly, just not the best I could be.

Probably also, as I'm slowly losing weight, I've been wearing old stuff rather than buy anything nice yet. Should probably buy a couple of pairs of decent trousers for now. Today I will book my hair appointment and head to Next/M and S for a new pair of wide leg trousers.