Funeral wear

[ToadRage]

I am going to a funeral for a member of my husband's family on Thursday in Scotland and am at a loss for what to wear. I don't own a lot of black and the two mainly black dresses i have that i have previously worn to funerals are winter dresses with long sleeves. It's early September and hate being too hot. I have one summer dress that i wore to my grandma's funeral that is black but with lots of brightly coloured flowers on (cos she asked for colours) and i don't know if my husband's family would approve of that. My only other option is an old work uniform dress that is black and short sleeved but not particularly formal and a style i would never choose to wear for myself. I cannot afford anything new. What would you choose?

Option 1: Long sleeved plain black swing dress.
Option 2: Long sleeve black dress with white and lace panels.
Option 3: Black summer dress with bright flowers.
Option 4: Ugly old short sleeved work dress.

Option one...I also hate being hot so do understand but the others don't really sound appropriate. The old work dress doesn't sound smart enough... I'd avoid the one with bright flowers and I can't imagine the one with lace and white panels. First choice seems the safest option.

If in doubt go for plain and long sleeves. I promise you, you’re unlikely to be too hot in Scotland in September, you can take a jacket for the gales that’ll likely be here by then.

It’s fairly warm in Scotland right now. I’m not saying you think it’s about you but it’s really not about you. Just wear something black… not the thing with the flowers and just do your best.

I would go with the first one and then have something else you can change into afterwards like the uniform dress.

Wear whatever suits the weather on the day, but perhaps not the one with flowers.

Do you have black trousers? I have worn black or navy trousers with a white blouse to summer funerals.

I don't think people are so rigid nowadays about funeral wear.

I also live in Scotland.

Do you have black work type trousers? I usually wear those with a white or dark colour blouse/top and a black cardigan or blazer.

I don't own any black trousers, really not a trousers person. I can't just decide on the day, it's a 5 hour drive. We are going up on the Wednesday and staying in a 'pod' on a campsite nearby for two nights.

Even if it is reasonably warm outside churches are usually cool or cold inside, in my experience. I wore a jacket today in Scotland, for the first time in ages. I don’t think long sleeves will be too hot.

Take the two that look best on you, then you can decide when you arrive - they can’t take up that much space in your luggage, surely?

I go to a lot of funerals (Scotland). Unless there are instructions to wear bright or certain colours, most people just wear the darker clothes they have.

It's unlikely the bereaved will notice what you wear. They will be grateful you took the time to attend. That's what matters.

Go round the charity shops and see if you can find something more suitable. Even if it's a black or dark skirt and a white shirt, and maybe a black/dark cardi or jacket. I've been to three funerals this summer and several women were wearing navy blue and white. I think if it looks 'sober' then you'll be OK.

Any dark clothing will be fine, doesn't need to be black.

I wouldn't count on it being warm, especially if you're staying in a pod. Take a big (dark) golf brolly too.

Alongside my vote for 1, I wanted to add, why even keep number 4 if you dislike it so much?

Agree with @AgentPidge , there’s no need to wear all black unless your family is also the type to go the whole hog and insist on ladies in hats with black net face veils.

Just darker, more muted colours and if you’re wearing any patterns or jewellery, keep it small & subtle. The point is to avoid making a fashion statement - people’s focus will be on more important things.

I think that if you feel you need to wear black, you wear black - unless requested by close family

I’ve voted 1 - sounds the best option for you in the circumstances
but also maybe ask any friends if they have anything you can borrow?

Because I knew my DSIL was going to die at some point last year, I have got a small selection of “funeral wear” built up from charity shops etc for different seasons. It saved stress, time & energy at a point when I had a lot more to think about. They are all clothes I won’t wear for much else, but as I have space to store them - they stay as sadly they have already been needed this year too