Clothes while my confidence is at an all time low :(

[PatheticDistraction]

I have a 3 month old baby & 6yr old with complex needs. I'm carrying around 3 stone of extra weight & I'm only 5ft 2, have a large bust & I feel so horribly uncomfortable in my own skin. Everything is just making me look matronly, mis-shapen & oversized. My pregnancy belly is still quite prominent.

I need casual, comfortable clothes that don't make me feel hideous while I try & find a way to lose this weight & get a hold of myself.

I think I might also have a short torso or something as so much looks ill-proportioned on me.

Please no wrap dress or A line skirt suggestions! But any other thoughts very welcome, I'm completely lost.

Oh I really felt for you on your post ❤️
I'm sure there's something we can do. I'm going to grill you with questions, sorry!
How do you feel about high waist, loose wide leg trousers? (understand that being petute makes it a challenge) And is it a no to skirts in general?
I think a common mistake those of us with bigger busts make is trying to cover them up or wear baggy clothes and we end up feeling frumpy and bigger- wrap dresses make me feel very frumpy. How do you feel about square necks or scoop necks? Is there a party of your body you feel good or even okay about at the moment? What kind of outfits did you like at a time when you felt better about yourself?

Such a kind message thank you!

It's probably a no to skirts as I have very thick legs....I'd wear a midi skirt though.

Yes to scoop & square necks - I think these definitely look better on me.

I'd be open to high waisted trousers - just always thought they would accentuate the weight I'm carrying around my middle.

I'm currently living in maternity leggings and my husband's t shirts

I'm 5ft and understand what you mean about everything looking out of proportion .
I have some really nice M&Co Petite lightweight denim look trousers which are a cotton and linen mix so don't crease too much (from Vinted). M&S Collection also do similar. I wear extra short or short from M&S Collection, depending on the style.

TU have had some cotton and linen mix v neck t shirts which fit really nicely on a short torso. I have found a few more colours on Vinted recently by searching by brand and material.

When it gets cooler I'll be back in TU petite mom shape jeans which aren't too loose or clingy.

I find these types of things comfy for soft play etc with my toddler.

The Petite Lady on Instagram is a great account for recommending clothes which suit our heights. When clothes are in proportion it makes such a difference.

I completely understand

I'm marginally taller and size 16 (boobs and tummy). I've found that vest tops (Next do lovely colours although I usually go for black), cardigans, and black skirts in jersey material that sit just above the knee work with either flip flops or trainers in summer, or with black tights trainers/pumps in colder months.

This is my default outfit that I dress up or down. It's a bit dull but comfortable and practical.

Example skirt here: https://www.shein.co.uk/Firerie-Plus-High-Waist-Bodycon-Skirt-p-10959802.html?imgRatio=3-4

I bought some next wide leg jersey jeans and they are so comfortable and look good. Also Tu sainsbury had jersey trousers which are easy to wear but look much smarter than leggings.

I've recently bought a dress from the Woodland Gift company ( sorry link not working for me) which is nice fabric, pockets, on or off the shoulder, shirred waist and flowy skirt - it's called a Magic dress , about £30, looks much better on than in the photos on the website, and very flattering and comfortable. Suits my 5'3, large bust and fat stomach shape. They come in midi or maxi. I find midi better for days in the house, doing errands etc and maxis for going out.

I wanted to remind you that your baby is 3 months old, your body is recovering from childbirth, so give yourself a break. You made a whole human, twice! However when Ive been hating my body, I’ve found that wearing one colour/pattern all the way down is helpful. Yoga pants are nicer than leggings but with similar comfort levels. You won’t believe me but a slightly cropped/ waist length top may be more flattering than your husbands tshirt, altho a slightly oversized shirt over leggings and a vest is a classic for a reason. This skirt is in Next clearance and would work on you, with a blue top

I'm struggling with my clothing and weight due to illness. I find jersey dresses life savers which I can then layer with leggings and cardigans as needed.
Seasalt dresses are a definite favourite summer and winter.

If you are short waisted carys whittaker on insta has a lot of outfits that work well.

@slightlydehydrated- I think maybe it's these I'm thinking of buying this from Next - Rinse Blue Jersey Denim Wide Leg Trousers
https://www.next.co.uk/style/SU520189/AV0126

I've been looking at Carys Whittaker's instagram - she's great & her principles should apply to me, so I bought some high waisted mom jeans in short from M&S today as a start - but again the proportions seem all wrong...and accentuate my parsnip legs.

I've also ordered some basic T's from Uniqlo & I'm hoping these work and will form the basis of a capsule wardrobe- I'll report back!

I’m in almost in exact same position as you after 2 babies, although slightly taller. I’ve been living in wide leg linen trousers from H&M all summer (Elasticated waists) and cotton t shirts. The trousers come in all colours and very affordable! It’s been far too hot for me to wear leggings or jeans.

For something a little bit dressier, a wrap dress is very flattering for a post pregnancy belly

Yes I’ve found her a god send!

As an aside, your post took me back to my days with a baby and a 5 year old with complex needs. It was the newborn trenches and then some. You’re doing some serious work just now and you deserve to feel good about yourself.

Given the above, I don’t think I’d go mad trying to reinvent myself. Your body isn’t your own and your mind is likely preoccupied. If you’re in leggings and your husband’s t-shirts because it’s practical and easy and comfy I’d upgrade that for now. If it were me I’d buy some good quality leggings, maybe even a soft pair of skinny jeans (how DARE I but I don’t buy into the hate, they’re perfect for this situation) that’ll keep the baby tummy covered and comfy, and some plain fitted long line tops in good quality cotton jersey. If you’re feeding then some nursing vests to layer them with maybe. That’s the base.

Then I’d look for a couple of ‘third piece’ options. Uniqlo often do a seamless knit range of longer line drapy jumpers that are boxy with different necklines according to what suits. One of them with a white top peeking out at the neck will look a bit more elevated but it’s comfy for wrangling your baby and probably more to the point, the 5 year old. A nice big soft denim or similar shirt would be useful and then anything else that you could put on top of the simple base. Then a bit of jewellery and a practical but not a nappy bag sack bag to carry the baby equipment. Aiming to feel ‘done’ and also not too exposed whilst you’re not feeling confident in your body. I’d avoid wearing a mum coat this autumn/winter unless you absolutely have to, and wear something a bit more polished. Someone’s grandma’s wool coat from the charity shop rather than Berghaus.

I’m hopeless with shoes so I’ll always say clean trainers but no doubt there are other options

That’s what I’d do, but whatever you decide please do take time for yourself, whether choosing clothes or staring blankly at a wall in silence. The small child with needs and baby combo is next level draining.

Mom jeans are hard work to style, I think. At this particular time I’d not want to bother with all the faff with proportions to avoid looking too ‘mom’ in them. I’d also think that a sturdy pair of high waisted jeans might be uncomfortable at 3 months post partum? Or maybe that was just me.

I’ve done nothing but gain weight since my DD, I’m pregnant now again so embracing it but some things that made me more comfortable, I’m only 5ft also so trying to find bigger trousers with shorter legs is hard but m&s came through for me and was only £20.

wide leg trousers with elastic waist paired with a nice flowy blouse or shirt to hide the belly

high waist leggings to hold me in either with a blouse and blazer jacket or cardigain or a loose knot jumper (winter)

I bought this dress last year and I have lived in it this summer, you can’t tell from the photos but it is loose enough to hide everything and I get so many compliments wearing it https://www2.hm.com/en_gb/productpage.1217576024.html?pr_oyster=coH8DxwouA&utm_source=google&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=mk_gb%7Cln_eng%7Cpl_google%7Cct_sh%7Cbu_ladies%7Ckt_bra%7Cbg_branded%7Ccs_shopv1%7Cadt_all%7Csp_low%7Cpi_gbg06anu3aa214&utm_term=&hier_id=go_cmp-12828082235_adg-121943360776_ad-517954073498_pla-308498772900_dev-m_ext-_prd-en-1217576024004_sig-EAIaIQobChMI-5bMiqqujwMVTaJQBh1BGQ1TEAQYASABEgI7xvD_BwE&utm_source=Google&gad_source=1&gad_campaignid=12828082235&gbraid=0AAAAADvrmzTZKdMAm76aElVxsC0RecaH5

If you’ve bought dark blue jeans, I’d suggest a navy v neck t shirt or blouse to go with it. If you colour block your whole outfit it will elongate you. With dark bottoms stick with dark tops. If you want to add colour then add some nice colourful trainers or bag or jewellery.

Dark jeans and a light T-shirt will cut your petite frame in half and shorten you.

I totally get how you feel – after having my little one I also felt nothing looked right on me. What really helped was sticking to soft high-waisted joggers with a loose tee or cardigan layered over. Flowy button-down shirts are also a lifesaver because they skim over the tummy without feeling frumpy.
At the same time, I started making small changes to my lifestyle and found it boosted my confidence bit by bit. Reading about others’ journeys, like chrissy metz weight loss, really gave me some encouragement to not be too hard on myself while still moving toward my goals.
Hang in there – comfort first, confidence will follow. 💛