How can I look polished.. or even just not frumpy with my measurements

[SoftAsShit]

I’m not kidding when I say my (bust in particular) sizes give me the most low mood I’ve ever experienced. But I don’t want to go through life depressed about clothes and what I see in the mirror.

For context, I’m 29, have a 34J bust and wide hips, I’m just about 5ft tall.
Bust: 115cm / 45inches
Waist 83cm / 32.5inches
Hips: 110cm / 43.5inches

I cannot find clothes that fit me well, look nice and aren’t aging me. I’ve never been able to wear anything trendy because it all depends on being slim with a smaller bust and it’s just making me so depressed.

I can’t afford to tailor my clothes; and tbh I can’t afford anything high end. I usually buy from the likes of New Look, Tesco, Asda mainly because I know their sizing and what I can get away with.

I always just look so frumpy. If something fits my waist nicely, it won’t fit my bust and be too tight on the hips. If I buy to fit my hips/bust which I have to really, the waist is so baggy and the shoulders don’t sit nicely, the sleeves are too long I wind up looking awful.

Petite doesn’t help because I need to size up twice as they assume all short women also have no curves at all apparently.

I need help 😭

Do wide leg trousers with a more fitted top work for you? Heels ideally too.

I guess it depends on what sort of outfits or occasions you’re shopping for too.

make sure you have a really well fitted bra too- makes such a big difference

I do often find myself reaching for wide leg trousers over the last couple of years, I also really love a bit of a flare. Heels work well in autumn/winter as I love heeled boots.. but unsure about warmer seasons as I have a 3 and 5 year old so I’m not really the every-day heel wearing type anymore!🤣

It’s pretty much all everyday wear. I don’t have an office job anymore; so really I’m just out doing school drop offs.

Make sure you have well fitting underwear.
Much of how you describe your clothes, suggests you are on about dresses or jumpsuits. Separates will fit better. My boobs are big though now they are deflated they are less of a challenge. But I'd never wear anything with buttons (gaping), a scoop neck (shape is always wrong) a wrap dress (too booby), those hoodies or jumpers with a little zip or couple of buttons (give me a ski slope), no stripes (unless your boobs are perfectly symmetrical, end of boobs are not always on the same line).
All the above problems would make me look and feel crap in what I'm wearing.

Have you tried a midi skirt with a fitted top, I'm a inverted triangle shape, so bigger top half to smaller bottom half, I like a midi skirt which isn't dead straight you want it to flare out a bit, not to much, I'm petite 5ft2 and like this look, and wide leg trousers it seems to even my shape out a bit.

Can you sew? Or could you learn? It's amazing the difference a few darts here and there can make to how something fits and it's really not difficult to do. You could learn the basics really quickly.

Try to find good quality separates in charity shops rather than cheap, poor fitting supermarket and high street shops. Look at 1950’s style clothing as they usually suit curvy women and buy the best bra you can. 1 Prima Donna Deauville washed each night is preferable to a dozen cheap, I’ll fitting bras.

@SoftAsShit in that case what about linen trousers with chunky sandals or trainers (would give you a bit of height without being unmanageable with kids)
yes midi dresses or skirts too as long as they give you some definition up top or at the waist.

Don’t underestimate the difference where the arm cut off of tops is either. For me, elbow length is most flattering as it’s the same level as my waist so draws attention there (my narrowest part)

You want to avoid things that make you look too square shaped. (I’m similar shaped so I get it!)

I wear fitted shirts but leave the top burrows open with a vest underneath, so I get the waist but lose the ledgey boobs look. A lot of v necks too and wide legged trouser or capri fitted trousers. Boat neck fitted tops work too. Skirts rarely work on me. Also I’ve bought a couple of second hand expensive when new dresses and paid the £50 or so to have them altered.

shirt dresses with a vest top underneath can work too…

You can still get bravissimo clothing (Pepper berry) on vinted etc, the original brand for bigger busted women.

Make sure your bra is a good fit. I also echo can you learn to sew? I've been teaching myself recently for precisely this reason.

Also have a look on Vinted. You'll be surprised what you can find on there.

https://fairliecurved.com/

their t shirts are good and they’ve got a sale on at the minute

Have you tried a minimiser bra? I just bought one from M&S as I had put a bit of weight on and I am looking a bit dumpy all over. It’s not perfect but it does make a slight difference and I look better in a t-shirt now.

Agree re Prima Donna bras - game changer! - and Deauville is the most robust, full-cup, hold-everything-in style in the range. Getting fitted can be something of a dark art though, I think their sizing is slightly different from high street brands like Freya and Bravissimo, so go to Rigby & Peller. I feel honour bound to buy one bra from them, as they go to a lot of trouble to find the perfect style and fit for you, but it's expensive. You can get them a bit cheaper online.

I wouldn't say you need to wash the bra every night, probably best not to in terms of longevity. I wash them in a net bag in the washing machine and they last for years.

As kindly as possible maybe the best thing to do is lose some weight. As a fellow petite those measurements are tricky. I have found good success with OMAD and it’s been wierdly easy to do with one low carb/high protein meal a day. The weight would drop off you in a very short time.

As kindly as possible maybe the best thing to do is lose some weight. As a fellow petite those measurements are tricky. I have found good success with OMAD and it’s been wierdly easy to do with one low carb/high protein meal a day. The weight would drop off you in a very short time.

I’m going to be straight here. As a short woman I know, being short and significantly overweight makes it pretty much impossible to look chic or polished.

all the rules you read about wearing clothes with structure just makes us look like Miss Trunchbull. We become square. Anything siftcahd flows just fits wrong. Sizing up makes the neck line too low, waist too low, proportions all wrong. Our height/width ratio just makes it nigh on impossible to look anything other than blocky or trussed up or sloppy

there really is only one solution and it’s the harsh one. Lose weight. Harsh yes. But truth. I know.

OP needs clothes in the meantime though and it might not help with her bust
i lost 3 stone and all I did was drop my back size so I ended up needing a 32K bra instead of a 34JJ
not a single inch came off my boobs and it never does

Definitely get the bra situation sorted , soon as I got fitted properly - a huge difference in how my clothes fitted. Being flabby my bras are more an engineering feat then bedroom alluring but no back and under arm bulging means I can wear more fitted clothing. Between the bra and the big knickers there's very little room for anything to escape as Im short of body

Thanks all! Yes I am currently losing weight, I think two kids and several years of a desk job have caught up to me far too much 🤣

however I don’t see how losing the weight will help that much as my hips are just wide not from weight but my actual hip bones are quite wide.

Bust also probably won’t do too much, I was an E cup at 14, I think I’m destined to be big boobies for the rest of my life 😭

love some of these suggestions, going to have a look through Vinted and see what treasures I can find!