Hairdresser loyalty

[changedwoman123]

I have been to the same hairdresser for years and years. She used to have a salon but for years now has worked from home. I would actually consider her a friend now and I know she would me.
The problem is she gets worse and worse - both cut and colour are terrible. I actually hate my hair - it never looks nice anymore. I had my hair done for holiday this week and it looks so bad. I still have massive gray roots. I think she is basically lazy. The appointment takes hours because she just talks all the time. She keeps stopping what she’s doing to tell me long boring stories including horrible health stuff about her elderly mother in law that I honestly don’t want to know - it makes me feel sick and I come away stressed.
She is a nice person though and I don’t know how I just stop going. If I haven’t been for a while she always messages me. I would feel so guilty to switch but my partner thinks I’m mad because it’s my hair and I’m paying.
What would anyone else do?

Go elsewhere.

It’s utterly bonkers to me that you’ve let this go on for so long! If you’re paying her for the service and you come away disappointed every time, stop going!!! I expect she does consider you a friend, but it also pays to be nice to you so you end up feeling beholden to her like you do now.

Tell her you're not happy with x,y,z or just go elsewhere.
If you need an excuse, her location isn't convenient for you anymore?

You are mad as you dont like the service.

Either communicate what you dont like and seee if she can improve or go elsewhere. When she texts just ignore or say "decided to try something new"

Just move to another hairdresser. If/when she asks say you felt like you needed a change and don’t look back. I assume she charges you? If so it’s not friendship it’s business.

i understand finding it so difficult to tell her, though of course you should.

Could you go elsewhere and if she messages you say you were given a gift voucher for a salon?

She probably messages you because if she’s as bad as you say she probably doesn’t have that many clients. She’s not your friend - you don’t hang out with her, do any activities together, or meet up outside appointments for lunch or coffee, or anything like that. You just chat a lot when she comes to do your hair.

You don’t want to see her anymore. She’s boring and a shit and lazy hairdresser. If you don’t want to hurt her feelings just tell her you wanted to try something new and have started going to the salon near work or something similar.

That is actually a really good idea- thank you

I would just say I am going to colour it at home for a while to save some money and that you are letting it grow out. Or... say your friends daughter/son is at college for hairdressing and has asked for free volunteers so you are going there to help them out. Then just don't go back!

Gift voucher is a great idea.
I’m sorry but this woman is off loading her woes on you and doing a dreadful job of doing your hair.
You owe her nothing. I would be so upset if my hairdresser was doing a terrible job and wasting my time to boot!
Please put yourself first

And if she still persists (some people like her are very persistent!), you can say you're enjoying the salon experience and will stick with it.

You have 2 options really- be really honest and say you know she is great at what she does and you used to love your hair, but have recently found its not for you (a horrible conversation to have but if she has just become lazy could maybe be saved); or just go somewhere else. Id personally do the latter than deal with the inevitable back and forth and potential hurt of the former.

go elsewhere. I’m in a similar position although I like my hair so it’s not a problem - i do wonder whether I’d prefer a salon experience though.

Go to a salon and find out. If you love it far more, just don’t rebook with her. If she messages, so you don’t need her at the
moment but happy to arrange a catch up, which will probably not happen as you’re not paying her.

Also second gift voucher idea, but only if she pushes it.

I find most get lazy over time so I tend to move on once it starts. I’ve even changed within the same salon .. I just take no notice

Your hairdresser has one job - make your hair look better. If they are not doing that switch.

she is offloading her drama onto during the appointment & not doing a decent job. Even my chatty hairdresser will go quiet & focus at times. But I will use a backup stylist (same salon) if she is not available.

a hour of small talk every couple months does not make a binding relationship

My favourite time at the salon is reading whilst under the climazone and the head massage at the sink - I close my eyes and have no conversation b

That sounds bliss

Thanks everyone- I just hate awkward conversations and dread bumping into her

@changedwoman123 I could have written the exact same post over the last week.

Taken the plunge and found a different hairdresser and had my appointment yesterday. I’m so much happier with the results and the care that was taken with my colour and cut.

Don’t be afraid to change as at the end of the day you are still the customer and she should be providing a service, friend or not.

This!

My old salon recently packed in due to cost of living ,I went to a new place and for the first time in ages people tell me I look younger ,that I have a great hairstyle so I advise go somewhere else. You could ask women you notice where do they go. It sounds like you would benefit.

You have a gift voucher for a salon, (you could buy this yourself) tell her you’ll have to cancel your next appointment because you’ll be using it.

Go elsewhere, it’s your money and while you may be amicable you’re not friends, it’s a contractual arrangement. I appreciate it’s a bit tricky but you’re not married.