Look old, feel old, help!

[BingoWingoForties]

I am honestly grateful that I've got to the age of 45, I am, I know people who didn't. BUT it's still quite young right?! So why do I feel and really look so old?! I'm perimenopausal with no help yet (waiting to see GP as I have hormonal issues before that) so obviously that is affecting my mood but I feel like I woke up and my hair is thin, my eyelids are droopy, my posture is crap, I have massive eye bags, I have weird discoloured patches coming out in the sun, menopausal acne and I could probably pass for 10 years older at least 😭Ew.
Please be nice and let me know your best tips for feeling glowy and confident. There was a lovely thread on here a while ago for plus size style and it was a joy fest, I need to find it!
I'm loving the gym at the moment and am getting a handle on nutrition but I swear I shouldn't feel this old! And sorry I can't post a picture.

Heard on a podcast that Clint Eastwood, when he’s ooohing and ahhhing, being grumpy etc etc, says “Don’t let the old guy in” so now I say to myself “Don’t let the old girl in!” 😂

OP Although it’s mentioned a lot here, not everyone can take HRT. It’s not the elixir of youth and I have never seen a difference in the skin or hair of someone who takes it as opposed to some who doesn’t.

Hair and teeth first. Dont wear a structured hairstyle and avoid the dreaded bob at all costs. Don't dress too formally - that is definitely aging. Wear clouds and don't make them too catchy-matchy, Stay out of the sun. Wear sunglasses as much as you can - they are a great disguise for eye bags! Try Jones Road WTF foundation and stick blush - honestly, it's a game changer once you get used to the slightly sticky texture!

It can make a massive difference, the loss of hormones accelerates aging. I can definitely see a difference in friends who take it and friends who don’t especially after years on it.

Agree, especially as you get to late 60s.

I've been taking HRT for getting on for 8 years, and it will be taken from my cold, dead (but untroubled by osteoarthritis) fingers. Obviously I don't know if my skin and hair would be in good nick without it, since I can't generate a randomised double-blind trial using only myself. But there is masses of evidence that HRT has benefits for bone density, muscle mass, tendon flexibility, joint mobility, balance, vascular health, cardiac health, maintenance of libido, pelvic floor robustness...there are oestrogen receptors all over the body, including the brain. It's kind of fundamental.

So, if you are interested in aging without falling over, breaking a hip, getting a 'widow's hump', being able to lift your grandchildren up, carry your own shopping in, get up out of a chair, not wet yourself, squat on your heels, walk your 8k steps, whatever - it might be worth thinking about.

Apart from the surface stuff, you need to do weight-bearing exercise. I do weights and resistance training three times a week for my bone health and to boost my metabolism, and I have an exercise bike for cardio.

In summer I swim outdoors at least three times a week,I do a weekly yoga class and I have dogs and horses so I’m always outside. I garden as well.

And stay curious! Keep learning. I started art classes three years ago, and it’s opened up a whole new world for me. In that time I’ve learnt drawing, painting, lino printing…I just love it. I never even thought I could draw.

You can do bugger all about it.
If any of this worked no-one would be paying for “ tweakments” facelifts etc.
Get on with enjoying your life whatever the patriarchy.big pharma tell you,

How bloody rude.

@Lifelover16 Get over yourself with the patricarchy bollocks.

You're just as bad telling me off for enjoying make up, who are you to tell me what to do, so there's only an accepatable form of aging for you as well with stupid toddler talk 'tweakments'.

I have had enough invasive treatments for a neurodegenerative condition to last me a fucking lifetime, bugger off with your patronising keeping women down in the name of an invisible patriarchy. Big pharma indeed, what do yo pay for your tweakments with monopoly money?

I wasn’t rude by any stretch of the imagination,
I don’t have any tweakments or treatments
I look old and have tried everything. None of it works.
if you want to pay a fortune for facelifts and tweakments @sallsterm then go ahead, I’m not judging you. Who says we have to look young to be a valuable member of society?

And as for rudeness @sallsterm i consider telling me to bugget off for my opinions the height of rudeness and absolute ignorance. I did not mention enjoyment of make up or making the best of yourself at all. Enjoy your plastic face and goodnight.

Thinning hair can be due to either low vitamin b or iron. It would be worth having a blood test even though you're waiting for advice, I assume on hrt.

Weights changed my life, never has my body looked or felt better/stronger and I’m mid 40s.

My go-tos are Oliver Bonas, Nobody's Child, Hush or M&S (their online selection is far superior to what they sell in my local store) or if I'm splurging, Me + Em, Sezane and Gerard Darel. I've recently discovered Palome and bought a few silk tops which are lovely.

You know, I could have written this, although I'm almost 40 and it feels like all the symptoms you mentioned just crept up and suddenly, boom

I'd like to say what helps, but, sadly not much. I have since January been taking, biotin, bovine collagen peptides, high does of iron as I'm low in it, and vitamin every day. I drink my weight in water, good diet of eggs, tuna, salmon, spinach - those kinds of foods, I use retinol daily, and use expensive skincare/hair care etc. I cycle hard 30 minutes a day and sweat buckets and enjoy a shower exfoliation, body oil for moisture etc

I cant say I've seen a whole lot of difference from that, hair still crap, thin and slow growing as always, skin ok but have dark circles under eyes and corners of eyes, no real glow. No change to skin in general.

I've stepped it up now, powder brows tomorrow, hairdressers next week, and I'm undergoing tattoo removal (two sessions in and a way to go hence the diet/exercise etc)

I think only botox/filler and facelift is going to fix the face real;istically, and maybe a wig !

I felt like this at 44, I just didn’t recognise myself and it all seem to happen overnight! What made an absolutely enormous difference was starting daily yoga. It improved my posture, my aches and heaviness, my mood, my countenance, my sleep, my outlook and most importantly my relationship with myself. Years later I’m now fitter than I’ve ever been, am at my slimmest, have a great relationship with food and health and feel I look far better than I did then.

You are an actual idiot for saying this, sorry to be so personal. The evidence for HRT, weight bearing exercise, nutrition, resistance/progressive loading exercise in improving health outcomes associated with aging is overwhelming. SPF will protect your skin from sun damage and cancers, so you should use that. These points are just basic health advice which will mitigate the harms associated with aging. They are backed by pretty much every state-funded health system globally, which is a good indication that the research is robust.

As for the other stuff - botox, fillers, face-lifts, whatever: those are obviously aesthetic interventions and as such are much more subjective. Some people will swear blind they make them look younger, others will insist no, you just look like a 60 year old with botox/a facelift/etc. Your money, your face, your choice. Go with what you can afford and what makes you happy.

What evidence? There isn’t any! Even in the well nourished and relatively affluent Western world
you cant put off the inevitable, and at some point age catches up with you despite how well nourished you are or how many weights you lift or when you start HRT. Look at anyone over 70 and tell me otherwise. Yes the odd one or two look younger than their years but the vast majority look their age. There is no holy grail of anti aging, your genes and telomere length are the best predictors and indicators of aging. Do you understand what a telomere is @BigSkies2022 ?

Jane Seymour, Bond Girl, is 74. These are 2025 photos. I’ll have whatever she’s having. https://abcnews.go.com/GMA/Culture/jane-seymour-stuns-red-dress-new-york-fashion-week/story?id=118687845

It’s not about anti-ageing for me, it’s about prolonging my quality of life.

I watched the last ten years of my parents’ lives, and I wouldn’t wish it on anyone. It’s not about looking good in a bikini, it’s about being able to get on and off the toilet in twenty years’ time.

I think that poster doesn’t take hrt and is being defensive..

Fake tan
makeup
hair extensions just for thickness not length
regular colour on my hair
Botox ( only on crows feet. I don’t like the severe forehead look)
and a tiny amount of filler in my cheeks

FFS. If someone could come up with an alternative to HRT that wouldn't harm me, I would snatch it up. But there isn't. So please don't slam people that can't/won't risk taking it due to whatever medical condition they have. Alternative ideas just to get us through the week would be very welcome.

I've just started feeling like this and for me I'm focusing on the 5 most important areas (to me).

Sleep - I have a good routine, always go to bed before 10.30pm, read my book rather than any screens in the bedroom etc. I pretty much go to bed and get up at the same time every day.

Hydration - I drink more water. I've got myself a filter water jug in the fridge so I've got lovely, cold water and I'll take a water bottle with me if I'm out and about. If it's winter and I don't want really cold water I drink herbal tea. I think about hydration on the outside as well as from the inside so moisturise my face morning and night and use body lotion after every shower.

Nutrition - I need to do more work on this but I have cut down sugar, cut down on meat and try to eat more vegetables, pulses, eggs, avocados and nuts. I try to consider protein and generally just make more sensible choices without completely denying myself anything. I take supplements (collagen, omega 3, multivitamin with iron, fibre, magnesium, garlic capsule).

Exercise - again more work needed here but I do a weekly yoga class for flexibility and I walk as much as I can. I need to add in specific strength training.

Personal grooming - if I don't look after myself, I feel crap. I don't do anything too OTT but I apply a bit of mascara and a tinted lip balm daily, try not to dress too frumpy, use perfume every day. Basically put a bit of thought into it and view it as self care. It takes 5 minutes for me to apply a SPF moisturiser, a bit of makeup and spray some perfume in the morning but then makes me feel better all day.