What can I wear?!

[Pickingmyselfup]

I look crap in everything! I've gained approx 5lbs recently so my clothes are feeling a bit snug. I'm 5"1 and approx 8st and a half.

Shorts with my legs look awful
Mini dresses as above
Mini dresses would be fine if it wasn't for my calves looking awful
Maxi dresses don't suit me
Wide leg trousers make my legs look huge
Skinny trousers make my hips look huge
Knee length shorts make me look short and frumpy

What looks good in my mirror at home looks so bad in the mirror when I'm out so I have no idea what I'm supposed to wear. I thought I looked nice in wide leg jeans until I saw myself in a different mirror and omg my legs looked twice the size they do in my mirror. It worries me that I'm going out thinking I look ok but the reality is very different!

I have a potential event coming up soon where I was going to wear my wide leg jeans and a fitted top but after yesterday's reflection when I was oit I just want to hide away so I'm probably not going to go because I'm going to be surrounded by skinny 20 something childless career people whilst I'm pushing 40, chunky with absolutely no career..

I also have a weekend away with my mum coming up and I feel so embarrassed about my weight gain. She thought I was fat at nearly 3 stone lighter and although she's seen me biggesr I just feel so self conscious about what to wear for a casual weekend of walking and doing a nothing. God help me when she sees me in a bikini 😬

I've ordered some wide leg yoga pants, have some gym leggings, knee length dresses, midi dresses, skinny jeans, wide leg jeans, midi skirts, shorts... I feel stuck.

Gently, I think this might be more about your self image than about how you actually look. I’m the same height and age as you and also have chunky calves, and have been your current weight, heavier, and lighter and genuinely always looked fine unless above a healthy bmi. You are a slim BMI.

At nearly 3st lighter you must have been dangerously underweight.

in fashion terms, the wide jeans will be good. The whole point is they create volume, then a contrasting top goes well. They go nicely with compact sleeveless shell tops.

Your mum thought you were fat at 5 stone?

Sorry when I said I was nearly 3 stone lighter I meant I used to be pushing 10 and a half stone and I used to be just under 8.

Definitely not underweight or 5 stone, that would be crazy!

I'm just struggling with clothes at the minute, nothing looks nice or what I think looks nice at home looks awful in a different mirror or in a photo.

@Pickingmyselfup you’re tying yourself in knots here … Your 7.49 post makes things even more confusing.

And, as others have said, this is a matter of self perception more than your actual weight. Millions of people are going about their days perfectly happily, attending events, spending time with their families, etc, whilst weighing far more than you do.

I’m sorry you’re feeling so down. You probably look much better than you imagine - and not attending an event is just going to make you feel depressed. As for your mother - stand up to her! Tell her you’re there to enjoy yourself with her and you don’t welcome negative comments on your body. Shut it down.

Not sure it’s helpful to suggest new clothes, as it sounds as if you have plenty. What currently looks okay to you?

First, your mum. I get it, same here!

Second, yes a few pounds can throw off how clothes look.
Focus on eating well, feeling good. It will make a difference.

Third, clothes. You’re almost 40, maybe certain outfits don’t work anymore? It’s hard finding a new look, though!

I still like things in my wardrobe, but they don’t like me…

I went out the other day in wide leg jeans, a fitted top and trainers. I thought I looked ok until I went to the toilet and saw myself in the mirror as I came out, the jeans just made me look bigger than I am!!

I'm so short that every extra pound is noticeable.

I have so many clothes and a range of styles from midi dresses and skirts to mini dresses and skirts. Playsuits and jumpsuits, a million gym and running outfits, so many jackets and different types of shoes from stilettos to boots, trainers, flip flops, chunky heels and wedges. Jeans, jumpers, casual dresses, going out dresses...

I'm overflowing but I never have anything to wear. I don't go out often so I usually live in either skinny tracksuit bottoms or scraggy baggy ones with some sort it t shirt, jumper or I'll just grab a long open cardigan as I'm heading out the door.

I’m not a fan of wide leg jeans myself and you’ll have to prise my skinny jeans out of my dead cold hands.

I think you’re being a bit harsh on yourself. No point comparing yourself to people half your age!

I’m 5’2 and 11 stone about a stone over where I’m happy but i can walk confidently around not thinking I look awful at 5’1 and 8.5 stone you are tiny and petite and no doubt are the envy of many people.

Maybe do some work on your own confidence? Has someone said something? Have you always worried.

You could maybe book a stylist appointment and find clothes that really suit you, and gain some confidence that way.

but be kind to yourself 🥰

Aww I'm sorry you're so down on yourself
Remember, you are your own worst critic and others don't see what you do.
would you be ok with a A line dress or skater dress I'm short with a tummy pouch and these are my favourites
casual denim or ditsy for day
black velvet for night worn with a cropped jacket and black ballet flats( and a cherry red lip)

I think I'm just in a bit of a funk at the minute because my plans for running haven't gone so well. Had a big year planned but it's all gone to pot due to injury so I'm starting almost at the beginning again and not running a marathon like I had planned. So I'm eating more because of that and not burning it off so I've gained weight and it's a vicious cycle.

Oh god - I'm your height and about a stone/stone and a half heavier, and wear similar clothes. I think I look pretty good My body has definitely changed as I've hit perimenopause and put on weight, but at 56 I can accept I'm no longer 25 and a size 8.

As pp have said, I don't think this is anything to do with your weight but more about how you see yourself thanks to the less than kind words from your mum. We're all our own worst critics though - I bet you look great!

Could you book a slot with a stylist eg at John Lewis or an independent one, and see what they suggest as alternatives to what you wear now?

Your mum needs to stop with the comments. Does she know the effect they have on you?

I agree with all the above and it sounds more like a confidence issue than anything. If you feel your calves are a bit chunky, would you feel better exposing your ankles as they're often skinny? How do you feel in ankle grazers or cut offs? I'm sorry your marathon didn't pan out but I think your very small weight gain has made you a bit low 💐