Conflict between styles - how to reconcile and find a look?

[Merryoldgoat]

I have conflict about my style. I’d love to look groomed and professional and well put together, but love loud prints, and wear exclusively trainers and flip flops.

To add complication (in terms of what I’m comfortable wearing) I’m fat (although less fat than I was as I’m 4 stone down) and am peri so skin and hair are a bit mad.

Examples of what I mean: I wanted some clean basic nails that would be good for work. Ended up with orange French tips; wanted some nice shoes for work, end up with sky blue trainers.

I think the issue is I am not elegant - I’m just not - so how can I marry a slightly more flamboyant style with a professional look?

I’m rambling but feel like I just look a state.

Is there anyone in the public eye who has a similar build and whose look you like or admire?

Not that I can think of but I will think - that’s a really helpful thing to ponder. 🤔

Add a few clues, the kind of stores that attract you, hair style, your colouring and the favourite colours you like to wear and I'm sure people will be along with some suggestions of where you could shop.

Wild card as she is much older, but Prue Leith is someone who has a very strong sense of put together style, always accessorized, but individual and quirky. You could follow her lead with good quality and bright basics for a capsule wardrobe, be strict with what you add to this, and then add your own style with your choice of statement accessories maybe.

You could have separate wardrobes for work and play.
Or you could be colourful professional by keeping one bright item with rest of outfit neutral or neutral outfit and bright accessories. Some trainers and flipflops are smarter than others. With weight focus on cuts that suit your body shape, its old fashioned but works.
With skin and hair, keratin or hair borox. Have 1 or 2 styles that you always do. The right haircut can work wonders. With skin, get something that addresses your problem. For example i get a red nose and blotchy skin so I use a colour corrector.
Unusual jewellery or glasses frame, hair accessories or earrings.
It helps to make a routine and keep it simple and to have a capsule wardrobe that mixes and matches.

I actually love Pru Leith’s style - I don’t love everything she wears but she looks great.

The idea of a capsule wardrobe is a good idea too. I’ll need to get a basic foundation and build on that.

I wear all colours. I’m particularly into African wax prints atm and I’m lucky that I’ve got a tanned complexion (mixed ethnicity) so I suit most colours. I particularly like blue, orange and green.

I’ve seen some nice two piece outfits but I worry I’d look like a mad woman in pyjamas.

@ChickyBumBumAh I don’t get out a lot so don’t think I fancy two wardrobes but the rest makes perfect sense - many thanks.

I asked AI to show me some of Prue's outfits and it turns out she has a fashion page and did have a collaboration, but the link no longer works. It might be somewhere to start looking for inspiration though.

Fashion | Prue Leith

This is an online boutique she links to, you could have a read of their blog
Articles

I know what you mean about the pyjama look but you could wear them with heels or wedges and earrings, hair done up...it will look less pyjama than in flat shoes. Or obviously wear just the jacket as an opened blazer with a plain outfit or just the busy print trousers with a plain top.

I am no fashionista but I suspect that if you have a really good haircut and keep your hair, nails, maybe makeup(?) all very well looked after, and your crazy bright print clothes very well ironed and well looked after, etc, you’ll get away with it fine. Plus consider what’s more important to you - things you like or how you want people to see you. Not everything you admire in others would work for you. Think about others wearing the kind of things you like.

It's wonderful that you are flamboyant, embrace it! It also sounds as if you are impulsive with your decisions, buying what strikes your fancy at the time of purchase.

You might want to make a list of some basic needs for outfit building, and either order online or head to the shops with your list. Pick a good neutral for you, whether is is black, navy, denim or ivory, and get a few tops and bottoms, Then you can shine with your accessories, or pick one pattern per outfit.

For instance, black linen trousers and vest top, topped with a print button up, then orange bracelets and shoes for interest. It's just a lesson in a bit of moderation, and having some good basics.

It also sounds as if you are impulsive with your decisions, buying what strikes your fancy at the time of purchase.

This is 100% me.

Your suggestions about making some basics is a great idea.

@Talipesmum My hair is an issue. I’m trying to find a way to keep it looking a bit more controlled. Will do a keratin treatment later and see how that does over the next few weeks.

Good luck! I’m not speaking from a position of experience, it’s been 8-9 months since my last haircut and it’s a right state. But it’s the kind of thing that might help! Good luck :-)

Why can't bold colours and prints be elegant? Maybe you need to lean all the way into your preferences op?

https://www.gudrunsjodenom/en-gb

The home of bright colours, prints, and clothes that suit larger sizes.

Not cheap, estpecially when you factor in layering (aka buying several garments to get the look) but can be inspirational for wearing other clothes, eg top with a contrasting colour T-shirt peeking out from underneath.

There's a shop in London but I think that's the only one in the UK.

No they absolutely can but I’m not - It’s my taste isn’t I think.

I suppose I’m more… funky?

But combining ‘funky’ with my very boring job and workplace is foxing me.

But I’ve decided to work my way down - hair tonight, sorted through my makeup and got rid of the stuff that no longer works and am gonna have a play at a few quick tutorials.

I am going to have a good look through my wardrobe and maybe buy some bits on Vinted to see how I look in some things now I’m a bit slimmer.

@zzpleb thank you - some nice ideas although those prints aren’t my cup of tea but some of the shapes and styles are great.

I prefer tropical and African/Indian/Japanese prints as a rule - I find florals and checks make me look mumsy.

I saw an outfit advertised recently that I think would fit your style.

I would not suit it but it was nice in a bright print but different sort of way. If I find/see it again I will come back and tell you where it was from.

I really don't think you need to try and look like somebody/everybody else because your job is staid and in a boring workplace. You'll look your best when you feel good confident in your clothes. Pick your style and own it.

Grooming helps, like you say, making sure your hair's in good condition and your clothes are well laundered.

Try doing your colours with the help of AI and find out what it recommends will suit you best, also clothes for your body shape, then tell it you're in whatever country and have a budget of £X and ask for suggestions of where to shop for clothes in the patterns you like. Be very specific. I did this and did it for makeup too and got good ideas from a range of high street brands. Once you know what you're looking for and how it fits, you can scour Vinted or ebay etc. if that's for you. Would recommend some shops first though so you can try on and return if you've made a mistake.

For example, you could start with something like this
Scarf Print Kimono | Women's Boho Accessories | Joe Browns
and build up around it with plain t shirts, shirts or jumpers and skirt and trousers in a base colour or pick a colour from the print and accessories to your own taste.

Also came across a site called apricot online co uk, which I have no personal knowledge of but it might be of interest. It also has an outlet.