What makes you buy something?

[GinJarRogers]

Thinking about this today as I’ve bought a few things online recently and looking at them together they are a completely random collection of clothes in different styles /colours which don’t go together particularly well at all. The same could be said for most of my wardrobe!
Latest buys include two Zara dresses which look lovely on but one is only suitable for a hot holiday (which I have no plans for this year sadly) and the other is for a smart occasion - again which I don’t have coming up and isn’t really my style anyway.
I will send both back but it’s got me thinking why am I buying these things and what would make me keep them? Yes they look nice on but I have no need for them and they don’t really fill any gap in my wardrobe.
Interested to know why others buy things:

• need for a particular event/occasion
• to fill a gap in your wardrobe
• because it’s your style
• or just because it happens to look nice on the day you buy it/try it on?

I’m trying to stick to the first two only and avoid things that fall under the last category - but keep failing.

Someone once told the the phrase “need it badly or want it madly” as a criteria. Unfortunately I want quite a lot madly.

Joking aside, I love clothes and have loads but I tend to only buy something if I am certain it works for a purpose and with other clothes and shoes I already own. I do set myself a high bar that it has to really really excite me to buy it unless it’s a basic.

The problem I have is that I will decide I need an oversized tshirt to wear with leggings and then when I have it I realise it will be worn more if I tucked it in to some tailored shorts. When I have the tailored shorts I realise I need simple flats and so on….at least I will spend time finding the perfect shorts and flats.

I come across something expensive I like, then to justify the price I have to look at every retailer known to man to prove I can't find something similar for cheaper, then I psyche myself up to buy the expensive thing, but have to justify I will wear it a lot by buying cheaper basics to wear with it, then I'm ready to buy the expensive thing and find it's sold out....

I was guilty of this. Apparently it’s called shopping for your fantasy life. In your head you are imagining yourself enjoying a drink in a beach bar or dinner in a country house hotel and who doesn’t want to do that? Also these dresses are much more visually interesting than basics are. Shopping for plain T-shirts isn’t as much fun. I find I have a particular problem with this in the dreary days of February when Summer seems far away. But when it does arrive I will look stunning in my lovely new clothes. The reality is that Summer rarely sticks around for more than a week or two and the dresses clutter up the wardrobe and are hardly worn. I think shopping on the internet is mainly to blame for detaching me from reality.

I used to buy things because I liked them, but now I buy when I know there's a "gap" in my wardrobe to be plugged. There's nothing like the pain of decluttering to make you not want to buy something because you love it - I have sold too many things on Vinted still with the tags on and it's just painful after a while.

Identifying the gaps is actually quite fun though! I do the Marie Kondo thing of piling everything on my bed every once in a while and shopping my own closet.

I think the first 2 are terrible reasons, particularly the first one. You see so many threads on here frantically looking for something "I'll never wear again" to wear for a special event/ occasion.

I think out of the mountain of dressed I have 2 dresses bought specifically for an occasion, years ago, [and worn and worn since] but other than possibly an 80s themed disco there's no special event for which I couldn't find something already in my wardrobe.

My buying is defintely the second set of reasons. I rarely get it wrong- I have masses of clothes but I wear them and love them.

I have sold too many things on Vinted still with the tags on
I don't understand how that's possible. I never buy and don't wear things.

Some people do buy things and don't wear them. HTH.

Yes but why buy them? What's the point? I never buy something which I don't wear.

That used to be me!!! Buying things because;

• I really liked them/imagined wearing them in a fantasy life; or
• because they were a bargain (on sale or second hand).

I would end up with some nice clothes but also lots of random things that didn’t go together or just didn’t suit my lifestyle.

After decades I have finally learned my lesson. For example, the other day I bought a very plain black top that I know I will wear to work or on weekends with other things I already have. The old me would have bought something much more interesting that would have just hung in my wardrobe!

I used to buy things that I thought were beautiful or interesting, thinking I'd be able to match them with something in my wardrobe, but then when the time came the thing that I bought wouldn't be right for the occasion, or wouldn't go with the thing I thought would match, or just didn't fit right...

Now I go out in search of a particular thing that I know I need, rather than browsing.

I buy things because I want to feel the way that in my head I think someone who wears that/looks like that feels. It’s a huge hangover from basically being unfashionable, poor and never having anything nice or new ever as a teenager I think. I still feel very unhappy in everything I wear, it never looks nice on me and I haven’t found my style. I have loads of unworn clothes and I sell and buy absolutely loads on vinted. I think partly because the things I like and the look I aspire to doesn’t actually suit my life or my body shape.

That's sad. I get so much pleasure from clothes. I don't know what to suggest.

You say the look you aspire to doesn’t actually suit your life- but is there really such a disconnection?

A poster above mentioned buying a plain black top rather than something interesting she wouldn't wear- but why not wear something interesting? Everyone has to wear clothes and life can be carried out in interesting clothes as well as plain.

I tend to buy things as and when I see them - if something is my style and I think it will work well with my body shape then I snap it up. This is regardless of whether I need that particular item at that time or not - eventually I’ll need a formal dress/whatever - better than trying to find something under pressure.

@IHaveAlwaysLivedintheCastle yes it is quite sad when you think about it. I suppose it’s because I was never really ‘taught’ how to dress nicely and how to feel nice in something. I do know what colours suit me and I do tend now to buy more expensive brands but I always buy second hand. Maybe I should start another thread and get some s&b gurus to advise me, but I’m afraid of being torn to pieces.

I quite like being sold to by a good sales person who loves their product.

Yea I am guilty of this! I think I probably need to dress better for my real life rather than slob about in gym/ dog walking gear…

I haven't a clue what colours suit me or are supposed to suit me. I like most colours and have clothes in most colours.

It might be worth starting a thread.

Some interesting thoughts here. I’m definitely going to think more before I buy in future.
And will keep one of the Zara dresses as it suits me and I like it and probably won’t be able to find a summer holiday dress when the time comes that I actually need one.

Yes, I do this too! I’m very picky about quality and cut and fabric so if/when I see something which ticks all my boxes, I buy it. Regardless of when I might use it or what it will go with. I like it, I want it, I buy it. Simples. In the past when I’ve shopped for something specific (e.g. as a wedding guest etc), it never seems to work out and I end up with something I don’t really like that’s the least worst of the available options. It’s a waste of money as I usually hate it and it makes me miserable. So I stopped doing that and just buy what I like when I see it no matter how random it might be. And trust me there are some very random things! I have a lot of one-offs (from sample sales) and buy quite a few secondhand high end things from Vinted and somehow I mix it all together with my existing wardrobe and it seems to work.

So today to my office I wore some (boring) M&S black wide legged trousers that have been lurking in my wardrobe for a couple of years, an old black James Perse T-shirt originally bought from TK Maxx quite a long time ago (beautifully cut but extortionate to buy new), a secondhand bright yellow broderie anglaise/cutout oversized shirt (actually a beach cover-up from a very expensive American brand that charges £250+ new) that I left open apart knotting it at my waist and a secondhand black jersey textured cropped jacket from a Japanese designer that I love (a new one costs £300+). Worn with (sold out) very new black suede trainers from Walsh and a one-off sample HUGE super-cool necklace from Lily Kamper (cost less than £100 a few years ago, would retail for close to £1k if you could still buy it - which you can’t). My theme was bumble bee. 😂 I nearly wore my black Barbour/House of Hackney cape (secondhand purchase last year) as my ‘wings’ but my work bag would have spoiled the line of the cape and I didn’t have time to change bags - and I thought I might be taking my insect theme too far by adding ‘wings’ 😛 Despite the slight madness, 4 separate people came up to me at work and told me how much they loved my look (nutters, clearly). One of our senior management team (male, Italian, 40s) came over and told me that I’m “always so elegant”. I was flattered yet gobsmacked. I guess ‘insect dressing’ works for me. 😜 You read it here first. 😂

What makes me buy something? …

Combination, usually, of a thing making my heart lurch with insatiable longing; realising that thing will make perfect sense of something I already own, or take my wardrobe in a completely new direction; its being expensive enough (even on sale) to cause me to thoroughly interrogate my need for it. (Thinking about it I probably have to think harder about ‘boring basics’ - and often find my wardrobe lacks those things.)

Nine times out of ten the ‘irresistible’ garment lingers as a screenshot on my phone - a visual history of what caught my attention at any given time. The things that make it all the way through my checklist (maybe after months of stalking and pondering) are rare and treasureable, so it’s only ever a sizing mistake that means something has to be returned.

Obviously not everything gets the same amount of wear - but I have no experience at all of buying loads of stuff that remains unworn.

I buy things that I think will cover the lumps and bumps I don’t want on show. Sometimes they look ok. More often than not they don’t so I have lots of things that I’ve never worn but hope to ‘fit into’ at some point.

You're my spirit animal! I love Lily Kamper and am not seething with jealousy about your steal of a purchase at all. I also love a bit of themed or costumey dressing. In my head I'm often Carrie Bradshaw... if she was fat, lived in South London and mainly shopped on the high street and Vinted.

I do buy things that I love and are my style, even unplanned, because I know I will wear them. I try not to buy things just for specific events, although sometimes I’ve done that and ended up wearing them loads, but often they only get worn once. I like to purge my wardrobe at the end of summer and the end of winter, so I do sometimes know where there are gaps to fill, but that’s not a major motivation. I’m not a capsule wardrobe sort of person.

I've just done the most drastic wardrobe declutter as my skin tone has change over time( I'm 60)
swapped skinny jeans for slim, straight( Fat Face sway) and softer more neutral shades
Dusky/ light pink for Red.White over black
light blue over navy. Creams, taupes etc.
I feel and look so much better and have had compliments on my" style" for the first time in my life
The best bit.. Apart from underwear everything from Vinted
white stuff, Fat Face, Uniqlo Lovely linen and crisp cottons( which I prefer over Jersey)
what I did was to sit quietly and visualise myself in outfit for different occasions and then scroll for them
I think if you could do this before you shop, you wouldn't need to buy the one top that you then realise you've nothing to go with and need to buy something else and so on.
Similar to a mood board for home decor.

I buy things because I like them. I tend to buy cheaper items in summer because I know I might not get as much wear out of them - eg this year I have bought several midi skirts from New Look. In autumn/winter I am more likely to buy (for me) more expensive knitwear from Cos/Arket that I know will worn lots than cheaper synthetic knits. Last year I bought a long puffer coat from Arket and a long wool coat from Weekday which were (again, for me) expensive but I wore absolutely loads.

I also buy things which “spark joy” if I can’t get them out of my head. A good recent example is a pair of stripy jeans in “butter business stripe” (yellow) from Damson Madder. Quite rogue, but actually I have worn them a lot and I just love them!

I’m actually happy to spend more on basic, boring items - jeans, t-shirts, sweatshirts. These are the cornerstones of my wardrobe. My jeans tend to be from Levi’s or Abercrombie, tees from Arket or &OS.

@IHaveAlwaysLivedintheCastlei think I might do this. When I say I know what colours suit me, I don’t mean I know in any kind of official sense, just that for example Red is a no go, as is yellow if it’s too close to my face. Mustard, jewel tones, greys - they are ok. But like @uncomfortablydumb60, I actually think my colouring has changed in recent years, as has my body shape, so I really like the idea of a total overhaul