Help me feel more confident about my body before going on holiday.

[sunsetsandsquabbles]

Urgh! I hate to be this person. I know I should love my body, whatever size and shape etc! But I’ve just been trying on my bikinis and shorts for my holiday next week and I feel a bit depressed.

i am 43 with a four year and although I keep active, I don’t exercise so my body is very soft! I’m 5ft 4 and weigh ten stone! I feel pale and like I look resemble a Cornish pasty! I’ve even booked a fake tan for next week, but fly three days later so think it might have worn off by then. I feel the baggy look makes me look of tops and bottoms makes me look frumpy but then if I wear anything too tight it shows up my lack of waist. I know it’s all about confidence, because I see ladies of all sizes on holiday looking incredible!

does anyone have any great moisturisers or quick fix style tips to make me feel a bit more confident on the beach. Xxx

Reading with interest as I too need to gain confidence to put this 11 stone body in a bikini. My belly is my worst aspect

Well I'm 15 ½ stone and wear a bikini on holiday. I figure nobody knows me and I'll never see them again so who cares if I dont have the perfect body

@LindorLusadilove your name! I do think it’s about finding the right fit bikini! I love a high waisted bottom and halter neck top! Maybe big hat and sunglasses is the way forward and never without a glass of wine!

@dementedpixieyes!! This is the confidence I need. It’s all dysmorphic thinking on my part! Love your confidence

life is too short to care what others think. enjoy your holiday! x

I’m 16 stone and wear a bikini on holiday. There was a lightbulb moment for me on holiday a couple of years ago when I realised it was only me and the really old local Greek ladies who were wearing bathing suits. I looked so out of place trussed up in a Boden bathing suit …. the type with the extra thick tummy strip to slim you down and pull your tummy in …. It was awful to get in and out of and so restrictive, suddenly I just thought sod it life is to short for this! I now happily wear a bikini and you know what….nobody looks at me.

Sorry, another thing I always think of now is that today is the youngest I’m ever going to be again …… go for it, enjoy it and stop worrying about other people

I’m 5’4” and would kill to be 10 stone 😳

Do you have to wear a bikini if it makes you feel uncomfortable? I always wear a low back, halter neck one piece as I have never liked bikinis. Nothing to do with body confidence, I just find them easier to wear and better for swimming (I am not really a lay on the beach/lounge by the pool type of person).

It does annoy me that retailers assume those of us who wear one pieces have body confidence issues though. I spent a weekend last spring in an absolute rage trying to find a one piece costume that didn't have "secret support" or "tummy sculpting panels".

But equally if bikinis are your thing, wear the damn bikini and enjiy your holiday. You will look great, people do when they are comfortable and happy. You are not 21 anymore that is true, but equally I bet you look just fine!

I've lost 5 stone in a very short period of time and have a lot of saggy skin so I've bought some womens board shorts which have integral bikini bottoms from lands end and a tankini top. They look great and hide all the saggy bits.
There are loads of good alternatives to bikinis and swimsuits now that are acceptable for any age.

Just back from a holiday and confirm that despite all the weigh loss jabs everyone is taking apparently, people still come in all shapes, sizes and colours and no one cares.
Wear your bikini, life’s to short to sweat the small stuff

Same here. I couldn't stand bikinis at any age or weight. They're an unecessary faff. I agree with your irritation about the assumption that not wearing a bikini means body confidence issues.

This is a depressing comment

There was a lightbulb moment for me on holiday a couple of years ago when I realised it was only me and the really old local Greek ladies who were wearing bathing suits.

I went through a similar epiphany a few years ago.

The young and beautiful are only interested in the young and beautiful and nobody else gives a flying fuck.

I'm a busty and wobbly 14. I bought a properly fitting bikini in Bravissimo with big pants and I really like it. I don't look a million dollars in it, but it feels good, is comfortable and much nicer to navigate than a one piece.

Big hat and sunnies for sure. And I like these from M&S for popping on over a bikini, or over shorts and a vest. I've cut and hemmed the sleeves as they wouldn't stay rolled up and were too long for me. https://www.marksandspencer.com/pure-cotton-collared-beach-shirt/p/clp60712308?color=SOFTWHITE#intid=pid_pg1pip48g4r2c3

IHaveAlwaysLivedintheCastle
Why do you think it’s a depressing comment?

I prefer a swimsuit to a bikini and I'm 6 feet tall, 12 stone and size 14. I can't be doing with the faff of more suncream on a part of my body never seen.
In fairness I don't go on beach holidays any more

Because it's perpetuating the point Ginmonkeyagain made about not wanting to wear a bikini= lack of body confidence.

I don't like bikinis. Even when I was a size 6 I never liked them. They're faffy and one pieces are much better for swimming.

Ok, yes I see your point

Echoing the liberation of realising nobody else gives a fuck, a percentage of them are like you; wishing they looked better in a bikini but none of them are bothered about what anyone else looks like apart from perhaps surreptitiously gawping in awe at any Victoria Secrets/ aftershave advert bods on the beach.

On the continent the beach belongs to all and the old and flabby go topless or wear bikinis, not universally, but there are all shapes and sizes there to enjoy the beach in the way that makes them most comfortable.

It’s lovely to have youth and beauty but it has its complications and isn’t the source of happiness.

I’m in my 50s and overweight with cellulite. If you offered me my 17 year old body back I’d bite your hand off but I don’t yearn for it and I still enjoy a day on the beach with DH, - under the shade of a parasol with ear buds and Kindle. DH is overweight too, it happens to a lot of us. I sometimes look at his peers and think they look well old and I’d never go out with them if I was single 😂 I know that DH must look the same but luckily I don’t think we see the people we love and live with objectively.

I find one pieces much more faffy than a bikini. Bikinis are easier to get into and out of and easier to go to the loo in. And a bikini top with proper cup sizes is much more flattering for me- one pieces just seem to squish everything together and then it tries to explode out somewhere!

I suppose it is about function. I am not a beach/pool holiday person really so I wear a swimming costume to swim and then get changed in to something else. I have zero interest in hanging about all day near a pool or on a beach in my swimming togs.

Thank you everyone who has left a comment! I really appreciate each and every one. I have got a lovely one piece which I’m going to take. And also you’re all right, just go on the beach and don’t give a fuck!

I know we all know this, but it’s all the bullshit you see on social media! All the body confident, fitness gurus who try and seem down to earth but they’re all peddling the same shit…. Change your body!

As someone mentioned above, bodies come in all shapes a sizes and I have been reminded that every time I have been on the beach I have been pleasantly surprised to see very few flawless bodies! It really isn’t about size! We all have lumps and bumps and cellulite.

thanks for all being such lovely posters and not shaming me for my original comment! Wish there were more of you guys influencing the world xxxx 🥰

thanks also for the M&S link, I do love a good cover up too, especially when I’m sipping my rose at the beach bar xxxx

I'm just back from holiday and people are indeed all shapes and sizes. I spent a large part of my adult life not wearing a bikini because of a diagonal surgery abdomen scar. 🤷‍♀️ In my early 60s I had an unexpected boost in my love life ( ahem) and started wearing bikinis again despite having had another abdomen surgery. People really are too concerned with themselves to take any notice of others. Unless you are going on Love Island 😂 who gives a shit 😂

Hey you lovely lot! I just wanted to reply and thanks for all the comments! I did get a spray tan and my nails done and felt a bit more confident and weirdly when on the beach I felt even more confident! I’m not sure if it was the change of scenery but I’ve come back loving my body a lot more than before and embracing the fact that my body is beautiful. (I do think the vitamin d has helped too)! I did buy a lot of clothes and bikinis for my shape and I think it really helps to dress for my size not what I want my size to be haha. Thanks again for all you lovely comments and support x