My hair is absolutely doing my head in, absolutely untameable frizz, help?

[PuffballFrizzball]

I have what can be just about tamed into curly hair for few hours with a lot of time/faff/products. However no matter what I do, it turns back into unmanageable bushy frizz within about 2 hours.

I think it's partly genetic, my family are Jewish and all the older male relatives have hair that resembles an afro if they don't keep it short, and I know my aunts tend to do chemical straightening. The photos of my dad from the 70s are quite something 🤣

For nearly 20 years I avoided the issue of how to maintain my hair entirely by having dreadlocks, which just needed a bit of maintenance at the roots every couple of weeks and that was that. Now, for many reasons, they've been cut short (they were almost down to my knees) and painstakingly combed out to about shoulder length and the damaged ends trimmed off. But now I'm back in the unmanageable frizz stage 😬 Nothing seems to work for more than a few hours, it is just wild and I really hate it.

I watch curl videos and do everything they say and it just doesn't last, it'll look great for an hour or two and I'll think I've cracked it and then as soon as I go outside or pull it back off my face with a band for a few minutes or just move around a bit it just goes BOOOOOF again. Basically I'd be thrilled if it looked as good as the "before" images that curly hair products show, never mind the amazing "after" images!! It literally seems to stick straight out from the sides of my head.

I've got a really busy life and a child with additional needs, I don't own a hairdryer and I simply don't have time to be faffing around trying to make my hair half decent several times every day. I just want it to calm the fuck down 😔 Hoping as it grows longer the weight might calm it a bit? Or can anyone suggest any miracle methods/products?

This is what I have in my hair arsenal so far...and I'm using the Noughty Frizz Magic shampoo.

I sympathise. I have curly hair - but not tight curls - which were my crowning glory (literally) until menopause hit. Now, post meno, I have a near constant halo of frizz.

This is what is working best for me - not perfect, but definitely better:

1. Once a week, use a clarifying shampoo to get rid of all built up products on your scalp. I use Bumble and Bee. Or 'co-wash' product that Curlsmith produces
2. You definitely need a leave in conditioner. I can't see that in your products. It really helps. I use Kerastase but there are loads of options
3. Curlsmith is a good range for you to try - loads of products, and small sizes to try.
4. https://curlmaven.ie/ - she's a curly hair queen. Lots of tips on her website. If you use her recommendations, you get discounts.

You can end up spending a lot of money on curly hair products until you find what works. But basically your hair needs moisture and protein and conditioning, and you have to find out what that means for you.

Boring, I know

Thanks ❤️

I'm just so loathe to keep spending money on stuff. I've already shelled out the best part of £100 in the last month and I just can't afford it 😭 The curlsmith stuff keeps popping up on social media but it's a tenner for a travel size bottle 🤯

So don’t - but what you’re doing isn’t working so…

Given the way you've described your hair, the best and lowest maintenance solution would be getting a keratin infusion treatment.

There is not a shampoo or conditioner in the world that can fix your problem.

Google Nano-keratin treatment and find a hairdresser who can do it. It will change your life, I promise.

What does a keratin treatment do? I don't want it straightening, I'm quite happy with curls or waves, just...smaller less boofy ones please 🤣

For me I need a strong hold gel, hairspray and a silk pillowcase
I use hairspray on wet hair

Fair enough, and I do appreciate the advice, I just hate the thought of spending yet more money on more things that may or may not work. Looking at my existing ineffective curl product collection is already making me want to cry! Perhaps I can persuade DP to buy me a Curlsmith trial kit for my upcoming birthday...

Also perhaps what I'm struggling with is the whole idea of my hair being high maintenance. That doesn't work for me. I've had a very long time of zero effort hair and the constant faffing and it flying around and getting in my face and noticing it's gone mad again when I walk past reflective surfaces and having to Do Things to it when I get out of bed etc is taking some getting used to.

Frizz ease is the only thing that really works along side Cantu cream which I put on when i have dried it. I have done Keratin straightening and it does work but my hair was straight with it so no curls. Ds has very curly hair and limits washing it other than with water which I just cannot do!

Buy smaller size bottles, some brands offer sample sizes and donate quickly the products that don’t work.
weekly wash, for me shampoo type makes zero difference.
condition daily. I like DIVACURL
follow up with curl cream after I’ve towel dried.
the curl cream is key to my curls currently I’m liking MORROCANOIL Intense Curl Cream
I bring my product with me when I get a trim and check to see if she gets them to “work better”. This month I had her try hair oil (I was gifted a sample size) and it was dreadful.
Also received a trial sized Aveda curl lotion which I’d like to try again.

The answer is a Brazilian blow dry, or keratin treatment as others have said! Trust me, you won’t look back. You can keep your beautiful curls, it doesn’t straighten the hair, just removed frizz and makes it smooth and glossy.

I have the same hair... I do "the bowl method" ( look it up on YouTube) using a cheap curl cream....then I use home made flax seed gel , diffuse dry my hair without touching it...then scrunch out the crunch...this is worth a shot for you.

I have curly/frizzy hair and have battled with it for a lifetime trying to straighten and blow dry it. I recently decided to give up and ordered Elgon “Yes Curls”. I have the shampoo, conditioner and no rinse memory cream. It is incredibly gentle and leaves my hair in manageable curls. It isn’t to expensive and comes in small sizes so you can try it. I got the small sized shampoo and conditioner and I think it will last about 3 months washing my hair every 2nd or 3rd day.

Oh, and I let it air dry.

This leave in conditioner is absolutely magic stuff that has transformed my daughter's impenetrable frizzy hair into silk

My hair tends to fluffy/frizzy very easily - even hairdressers couldn't believe how easily it fluffs up. I agree that if what you're doing now isn't working then small sample bottles are best to try out. Also, the combination of different products can be important, to make it more complicated.

Some things that work for me:
chelating shampoo, as I live in a hard water area and need to stop build up, currently using Malibu un-doo-goo
intense moisturising conditioner, I'm using Mielle babassu and mint, very effective and reasonably priced
almond oil as leave in conditioner (curlsmith air-dry cream also great)
Boots pink curl creme, v cheap
Bumble and Bumble gel-oil, lasts ages
satin pillowcase

I let it air dry as much as possible and if I diffuse, only take the dampness out. If all else fails, I put my hair up.

I got a perm. It’s a million times easier to deal with. My natural hair isn’t curly but has a difficult frizzy wave to it. It holds a perm so well and my hair is much predictable now.

I have curly hair very prone to frizz and have tried no end of products including Curlsmith which are ok but not mindblowing . I find anything with lots of coconut makes my hair more frizzy. Currently using Asiam born curly cowash and leave in conditioner which is meant for children but keeps me frizz free for longer than anything else I’ve tried and isn't expensive. If it gets frizzy I just dampen with a spray bottle and run a bit more leave in conditioner through

www.lookfantastic.com/p/as-i-am-argan-born-curly-leave-in-conditioner-and-detangler-240ml/12873222/?affil=thggpsad&switchcurrency=GBP&shippingcountry=GB&affil=thggpsad&kwds=&thg_ppc_campaign=20672485110&adtype=pla&product_id=12873222&gclsrc=aw.ds&gad_source=1&gad_campaignid=20678599823&gbraid=0AAAAAD-fXiqz94B1e-BO9jVfsjua4Yhy9&gclid=Cj0KCQjw5ubABhDIARIsAHMighaAylEXJ5qHkIiDcBvM-2GXvo79xzHLqyr7jwvLCHFEf9y-RnAxMZMaAqArEALw_wcB

Unhelpfully for any particular product recommendation I've found I need to keep changing products to get any effect, although I can go back to things after a break. The Cantu range is at least relatively cheap and the spray-in leave in conditioner seems good for me at the moment.

But your hair sounds made for the Brazilian blow-dry. I've got friends who swear by them. I keep meaning to try and forgetting (menopause brain) but if you try it out please report back!

Oh wow thanks for all this.

We do have incredibly hard water (we are on a spring supply and the limescale is something else).

Brazilian blow dries...scare me. I have literally never in my 40+ years been to a hairdresser 😱 How often do you need to do them? Are they expensive?

@PuffballFrizzball with a Brazilian blow dry your hair will lose some curl , if you are starting from a tight curl pattern you might be happy with this but if you have a looser curl pattern it might be too straight

My keratin treatment is £150 every six months but it can be more expensive. Mine isn’t as harsh as a Brazilian blow dry so it smooths rather than straightens.

Have you thought about a water softener? Ours was about 1k and it’s been so worth it. You can get actual foam in the bath now and it’s better for all your appliances, as well as your hair!