Hair Fixing Advice for a Lost PP mum?

[SpicyMoth]

TLDR;
Impulsively dyed half my hair black, hated it, tried colour remover twice, now unsure if I should bleach or try another colour remover first, or if this is even salvageable?
Happy to go with a slightly darker more burnt orange/copper, but don't know if even that's achievable at this point...

Attached images are of it freshly dyed black and showing my results after 2 rounds of Colour B4 - Please help me not look like actual trash :')

So for some context, my hair is thick, curly (2b/2c) when not blow dried, and generally a wee bit coarse - always has been even as virgin hair.

I've had orange hair for a LONG time now, I gave birth to my first wee one 7 months ago and have been feeling very "lost" in myself this last month - I thought screw it, I've always wanted a black half and half split dye look, so figured now would be the time to try it with some encouragement from my partner.

So I did.
And I HATED it.

I usually part my hair at the side, not the middle and the way it looks when parted that way looks insanely ridiculous and blocky rather than edgy like I've seen other split dye side parts look.

I've never felt less like myself in my life, and now I feel like I don't even look like my DS's mum anymore, which I know is ofc ridiculous, but I feel even more lost than before and spent every day since doing it crying at one point or another over it.

I've bitten the bullet and got some colour remover (Colour B4) and I've done 2 rounds of it and it's gotten me to this, pics shown below taken in natural daylight.

I was planning on bleaching with 30vol after waiting a week (It's been about 2 or 3 days so far since the remover and probably about a week or just under since the initial dying it black) and doing many, many deep conditions and K18 masks, but now I'm wondering if it's worth trying another colour remover first before bleaching as it still looks pretty dark to me?

I don't have any more Colour B4 left as the shops were out of stock, but I managed to find some JoBaz instead so I'm hoping that'll be fine!

I'm okay with not being able to get a match to my exact shade of orange as to be honest I'm starting to think the orange I have is a little too bright for my age and mum-ness, and I'd be happy with something slightly more coppery or burnt orange than highlighter... But I just need to do be able to do SOMETHING as the dark really doesn't suit me.

It's affecting my mental health soooo much worse than if I'd have just done nothing at all and kept my ugly 12 month+ post partum roots :')

I'm due to have professional photo's taken of us all as a new family around the 20th of May, and I just do NOT want to look a mess for them.

Can I save this?

I don't mind if there's a bit of damage, I can deal with it needing deep conditions and masks and looking a bit dry/damaged as it always has done even when it was virgin hair, I just can't deal with not feeling like myself anymore...

The part where you have removed the colour looks good. I would personally go to a hairdresser and work on the orange side with the eventual aim of having coppery coloured hair. The orange is very harsh and I can't imagine it is an easy wear.

Tysm for your feedback & thoughts!
It was the darker side I was the most worried about honestly as I'm sure I can get the orange toned down as it's a lot easier to go dark from light than light from dark, but I've no idea if I can get the dark back up to a workable level if that makes sense!

My goal is something like this in an ideal world - a wee bit of a more natural orange/gingery colour with some blonde peaking through, but I know realistically it probably won't work out this way as red/orangey tones are notoriously difficult to get out!

Do you think this tone of orange is still a bit too harsh as well?

I'm more of an "alternative" style kind of person, but I also want to not look like I'm trying too hard to be young - I'm 29 soon and I feel I ought to look my age a bit more 😅
Weighing up those two things is very difficult hahah!

Personally I would stop doing things myself and go see an excellent colour corrector specialist to try and get something consistent. I certainly wouldn’t be putting 30v bleach into the mixing hair that has been repeatedly treated already.

I agree the changed side looks nice colour although can’t tell if it suits your skin.

I think we probably have v different styles. The second picture of what you want looks very harsh and I can't imagine you will be able to achieve that after stripping down your hair to get rid of the black. You risk your hair breaking off. There is only so much it will stand before it rebels! I would tone it down and give it a break to recover before thinking about bleaching again.

if You can afford it, maybe see a professional. The section you’ve treated a few times is a really nice colour. Although I’m not remotely alternative so I can imagine you’d prefer something with more umph.
good luck!

@TonerNeedsReplacing@Loungingbutnotforlong
I really wish I could, but both money and time are very tight atm, I'm exclusively breastfeeding, dont have any support network who could watch DS for the length of time it would take in a salon (which is also an hr away both there AND back as I live in an awkward area), and my DS is also very much a velcro baby!

Only way I've been able to do anything has been between the hours of 11pm and 2am when he's sleeping and before his first night wake! 😅😅😅

I used to do my hair all the time myself when I was a teen and early 20's, so I'm sure I could maybe manage something passable, I'm just not at all confident in how black hair dye reacts to things as the one colour I never touched was black if that makes sense - my confidence for anything post partum is just complete shot and I'm second guessing everything right now 😅😫