I feel like a monster

[Witchywoo41]

I’m 42 and the heaviest I’ve ever been. I make an effort with my hair, make up and clothes but I can’t lose an ounce no matter how hard I try! I think my face is starting to change and I feel like an absolute monster! I’m going to contact my gp tomorrow as I feel like I’ve hit the end of the road - does anyone have any tips at all that might help me feel better? 😞

Oh gosh please don’t say that about yourself. You are absolutely not a monster - you need to stop such negative self talk as it doesn’t help you to move forward as it’s a vicious circle - I used to talk negatively to myself about my terrible acne and it’s not at all helpful.

If I have to lose weight, I always skip all processed carbs including white potatoes and all sugar. Eat lots of protein at every meal and accompany with fruit and non starchy veg. The protein will fill you up. Try eating during the window of 11am to 7pm - 16 hour fast with an 8 hour window to eat - you can move the 8 hour window to suit you but try to not eat for 16 hours.

And walk at least 7500 steps a day, more if you can but no intensive exercise as this can spike cortisol and encourage weight gain.
Lift weights - nothing too crazy at first - think I started with 3Kg dumbbells but try to lift weights for 15 mins a day plus the walking.

Oh @Witchywoo41, I could have written your post myself, I have nothing of real value to add but I’ll hang around for the advice!

The last two years have just been a constant cycle of low level health issues and hormones for me and I was only saying to dh how unhappy I feel, I’m just so tired of looking so old and tired. I had Bell’s palsy at Christmas and so now my face is changed (only minor, but I can see it) and it could be permanent. I’m trying very hard to lose weight but it’s very slow and I genuinely can’t remember the last time I looked in the mirror and felt good.

Would you consider Mounjaro, OP?

My only tip is to stop thinking so meanly of yourself. It’s so bad for your mental health to think about yourself as a monster. Leave that word and other derogatory terms for those who deserve them, like murderers and pedos.

@JMAngel1 thank you for your post, I eat between 8 and 5, my snacking is out of control and I work from home, I have zero motivation to walk and I have treadmill 😔 I don’t know how to curb it 😭

@thenewaveragebear1983 im so sorry you feel like this too. It’s utterly horrendous 😞 no one in my life gets how awful I feel. I hope you feel better soon xx

@Lascivious i would but I’m worried about the cost and the impact on my bowel, I have coeliac disease and ibs!

I can't be positive from your posts that you are actually overweight, OP. 'Heaviest I've ever been' could be any weight at all, and I don't want to be giving weight loss advice to someone with a healthy BMI and an eating disorder.

Assuming you are actually overweight by BMI, could you describe what your diet and exercise currently looks like? Since it isn't working, maybe we can help you tweak it so it does start to work.

Although I notice you've posted in Style and Beauty, so maybe it is clothing type advice you are after instead?

Have you considered the keto diet? It's basically meat, cheese, eggs nuts with green veg? It's v healthy, and once you get into it, not only does the weight fall off, but you feel so much better on it as you don't have those huge energy crashes from blood sugar going up then dipping drastically. It's v good if you feel addicted to food.

@Witchywoo41i feel quite sad about it to be honest. I’ve never been a beauty, but I could ‘scrub up’ ok, now I very rarely do, my clothes are all functional and nothing I actually like actually fits me. In the end I bought a few bits after Christmas but they are slouchy style, loose trousers, long t-shirts etc - good quality but incredibly boring and I felt like I’m wearing them to cover up.

i do lots of exercise (walk the dog couple of miles a time, plus running, plus some strength training) but in order to lose weight I need to cut my calories really low. I’ve had recent bloods done and take iron, b vits, D and collagen, thyroid is fine, I’m on HRT- dr basically said 🤷‍♀️ this is life for 40 something, busy mums with busy lives.

@Grimbeorn thanks for your post, my BMI is 32.1, putting me in the obesity category. I’ve followed weight loss advice and nothing is working, I posted here for some tips to help me feel better. Like @thenewaveragebear1983 im wearing slouchy style clothes and always felt I scrubbed up well and now I don’t - even after hours of effort. I suppose I’m looking for some self care tips or style tips from larger ladies just to help me feel more put together and polished.
i drink lots of water and eat well, i could exercise more but i hate it.
@thenewaveragebear1983 isn’t that bloody depressing that this is life for busy mums!

@Witchywoo41 ah I understand. Well I am definitely not the person for style tips! 🤣 But if you do decide you want help with weight loss, post what you are eating in a new thread in the weightloss board and people will help you with how to tweak it. Unless you have an uncontrolled health issue, you will be able to lose weight on the right diet.
Good luck with the style tips ❤️

@Witchywoo41 I think it’s a bit of a cop out from the gp as well. I find as soon as they find out I run and exercise, they are just like well you will be tired if you do all that. Or you can’t possibly be tired and still run twice a week 🙄

my problem is I have never been one for grooming really. I’ve always had thick long dark hair and worn very little make up, I keep my eyebrows contained and shave my legs but other than that, I am low maintenance. I dye my greys but I find it needs doing every 2 weeks, the dyes just wash straight out. I need to instil an actual grooming routine and I just haven’t got the drive for it, I never keep it up. When I was younger I looked very natural and bohemian, whereas now I just look like an old witch 🧙

Yes, I struggled with a boho look once I got older and larger, I totally understand what you are getting at. The older you get, the more grooming is needed if you are not going to look witchy. I find slightly tailored clothes work, as does bright lipstick and remembering things like jewellery- I have a few go-to silver necklaces and earrings so that I am not wasting time dithering over which to wear. You need a decent haircut so that your hair is not sending out the wrong vibes. Colour is tricky, I was doing my roots every two or three weeks till lockdown happened, and then let the grey come through. Once the hairdresser was open again , I had a few lowlights put in to blend in the root line.
Clotheswise, bright colours work for me, and I have to be very careful with darker greys. I’ve found Live Unlimited do flattering ( if safe) clothes in larger sizes, as does Muthahood. I can’t get on with Cos and Uniqlo type clothes, though you might. My go-to outfit currently is black straight leg trousers ( Saint&sofia,) or flared jeans with a bright coloured open shirt and a vest/ T-shirt underneath. Wide legged trousers can be difficult if you don’t have a midsection that works with more fitted tops, I find.
Ive just bought a leopard print coloured skirt from Scamp & Dude sale which is very flattering and not too dull.
Id say go shopping and try on lots without buying to get a better idea of what suits you now.