Prom outfits and where to get them - please explain!

[GardenAnarchist]

DD is going to Year 11 prom and was telling me how she thinks it works.

Apparently some of the girls in her year bought their dresses ages ago so she has left it late and the selection will be less, there are particular shops that sell said dresses, and they ask what school so they don't sell the same dress to somebody from the same school.

"What if you go to a different prom shop?" I asked.

DD wasn't sure but reckoned the different shops wouldn't have the same selection of dresses.

Is this right?

As an extra complication, DD doesn't actually like dresses - she's a baggy trousers and hoodie short-haired girl. I suggested a trouser suit but woe betide a middle-aged mum with fashion advice! If anybody has any ideas/links, I would be very grateful!

That all sounds a very far cry from the American prom experience of my DDs. They went to the clearance section of the nearest Macy's and bought dresses that cost $50 and $75. Next stop was Target for eveningy sandals, with one buying sandals in a thrift store. Each in turn used an evening bag that had been mine. Did their own hair and makeup with their friends. The friend groups hired a limo to get them to the hotel from the home where they had all got dressed and done up, and parents gathered to have a beer, take photos, and wave them off.

For my own debs (which is a prom, in Ireland) many decades ago, my DM made my dress and I bought what turned out to be a very ill advised pair of white stilettos.

Want to add, another DD bought a lovely amd very inexpensive dress from ASOS and I trimmed six inches off the bottom to make it fit.

Nope. I have never heard of anything so silly in all my years in the US.

High schools in the US are huge - 3000 or more students. My DCs' graduating classes had 450ish girls of all shapes and sizes and tastes and cultural preferences. How many stores carry enough stock to outfit a number like that?

Only in the UK are kids so desperate to look different from each other after years of wearing school uniforms that they would seek an exclusive dress.

I've heard the one of each dress per school before. Madness!

My best advice is to swap your daughter for a son, buy a dinner jacket and you're done.

If you went to a proper prom dress shop, or sometimes a bridal shop which has a prom section then your daughter would be correct.

Same as wedding dress designers, a prom brand will only sell in one shop within a 10 mile radius. So each shop should have different brands, although styles are often very similar anyway.

The shop we purchased our daughter's from did take names, and style numbers / colours etc. nobody else from your school could buy the same dress, in any colour. Sounded great but we live halfway between two shops which both sell the same designer (one about 5 miles in one direction, the other about 8 miles away in the opposite direction) so we could have still ended up with the same dress.

I paid £450 for the dress, way over what I had planned, but after several shop visits I'd lost the will to live. The experience of shopping and trying on dresses was lovely, and I'd recommend it to look at different styles and shapes but then I'd suggest buying on Vinted. My Dad's prom was 4 hours long from start to finish, it chucked it down on the day so photos are limited too and it was way too much money for just one night. Thankfully we didn't have the tan, nails, hair, make up etc on top to pay for too but even still the dress was just too much to pay.

@GardenAnarchist Same stage of parenting here, yr11 DD.

Had same shocking revelation a few months ago. ££££ followed by shocking revelation that there are parents who are paying £500+ for a dress for 1 night around where we live. As confirmed in dress shops when told certain design / colour combo already taken for DD school.

Here's what we did:
Scoured Vinted
Found dress
Took a chance
It arrived beautifully packaged
It's unique to anything currently in the prom shops at mo
It needs minimal tailoring, mainly on length
DD is as thrilled with it as she would have been a £500 one, if not more as the style is more her (naughties vibe she likes)
It cost (inc P&P) less than £15

I still need to sort adjustments, and shoes is our current headache but the dress... I'd say it's worth a punt on Vinted.

Just always study Vinted seller reviews & ask as many Qs before purchase as needed especially if photos aren't fully clear.

Good luck.

I’m someone who spent a small
fortune on my daughters’ dresses for their P7 proms and then I found Shein!! Just search ‘tween girl prom dress’ on the app and there are literally hundreds, all different styles for pennies!

Also, the girls in our area all wear white converse high tops and instead of laces, they tie them with ribbon that matches the colour of their dress

We went to get our daughter’s prom dress last week. They too take the name of the school and they make sure no one else buys the same dress in the same colour from her school. £260 later and she now has a lovely dress and I’m glad we went early because the shop was heaving with teenage girls.
We got her shoes from Shein as she won’t wear them again due to the fact she is also a jeans and baggy tshirt kinda girl.

Fonthill road, Finsbury Park, London. There are tons of shops selling prom dresses all different price ranges

My daughter doesn't wear dresses and I've bought her a jumpsuit that has a sparkly top. It looks gorgeous on and she's comfortable in it. Neither of us could see the appeal of spending hundreds on a dress to wear once, that she'll be uncomfortable in.

I think the prices these prom dress shops charge are outrageous and so many girls feel pressured to follow the trend and go to them. I'm glad my daughter doesn't give a hoot about fashion really...she likes what she likes.

I don’t know where you’re based but Font Hill Road in Finsbury Park is well known for their prom dresses. When DD and I went prom dress shopping last year, I got talking to a mum and daughter who had travelled down from Yorkshire just to look at prom dresses. It’s not fancy and a lot of the shops look somewhat scruffy from the outside, but most have a fantastic stock. Prices range from £100-£400.

My DD had a full on sparkly, big, swishy dress, which she wore with DM boots with matching laces! To be fair, you couldn't see the boots as she walked but she showed them to everyone who thought they were very cool 😎

Oh, and we only shopped 4 weeks before as she wasn't actually at the school anymore but had asked if she could attend with her friends. One style / colour dress per event rules at the shops - we were in and out in under an hour, it was in stock, no alterations needed.

DD’s prom dress was £495 and I’ve just had it altered to fit her properly, which cost £115.

ridiculous racket!

I paid £400 for my daughters. She has a very unusual sized bust so we didn't have a lot options! I budgeted £200 so way over!

My eldest daughter had her prom in 2023. She is very alt and she wore a black leatherette waistcoat (from SHEIN) and some velvet flares with lace detail with her doc martens. You don't have to wear a dress or a suit!

Dd bought a dress from jjs house recently, looks stunning. Amazon have dresses too. Just double check the returns policy if you buy online

Wish we lived nearer to London but no way we're making a several hundred mile trip for a one-night dress especially as it's already hard enough to get DD to study for her GCSEs!

She's looked at Vinted and ASOS, said nothing obviously appeals to her. Tomorrow we're going to look in actual shops in town, we have all the usual chains and also some great vintage/charity shops - I'm hoping that physically trying on the clothes will help inspire her. One problem is that she is short and very tiny, she fears that formal outfits are way less forgiving of poor fit than her usual baggy casual. I know a good local clothes altering service (they've done mine several times) so whatever we end up buying will probably end up there for adjustments.

@SargeMimpson I love the idea of Converse with matching ribbon - think DD will like it!

Do you know how she searched Vinted? My DD found looking up specific brands/prom designers much more effective than just looking up “prom dress.”

Mind you I found out who the designers were by going to a prom shop, so exploratory in-person shopping can be really helpful to find out designers, styles, and size! (I found the dresses fit large and many were in US sizes.)

Ahh that sounds amazing and they will be pretty unique too .

My DDs prom was held in a popular venue ( popular as in the local schools all seemed to pick here as there was space, seating and tables, good menu,plenty of parking and a nice garden)
Of course they all went into the gardens to pose on bridges and by ponds etc so Hugh heel strappy sandles not a good plan !

DD2 is also short and teeny and we got a custom made one from JJ's House which fitted well and cost less than DD1's boutique dress.

In my area it is very normal for the girls to buy vintage dresses, it's something that's "on trend" and they get actual silk, beautiful dresses for less than fast fashion. Buying a dress to wear once (with the exception of a wedding dress - but they can be secondhand too) is wasteful and I dare say unethical. But I am staunchly against fast fashion.

https://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/236040946496?skw=monsoon+vintage+silk+dress&itmmeta=01JRX20MHW2FZFE289QD5VFW7A&hash=item36f5230340:g:lUYAAOSwlpln8sIx&itmprp=enc%3AAQAKAAAA8FkggFvd1GGDu0w3yXCmi1cI7JbIUMvod10y0ASyXZ%2F1gKmCmQOEIP0k4uyX25KCVTpL2t66dexecoeH52%2BE055ARqQ8rbcXh%2BVvkPhu%2FnfbcnE%2B0Y1COh6OICgLsN5HL95ACfpjeefw8amvdUTOz3qOb3Z%2Bq8QGoGfBv7M0T2yJ6dD%2BSdtWOwI8rOQmf5QzwEiJIqXLdKHWX8p0dOumzo269eExEEVh04iINIUBk7uDWYhd0XjKAmuXJrVhaYMa%2BXB8CSF%2B2FylGAXD6zb3mjIRiL0Ll9vSzgQUhGzF2bhp0QrjVQqnXOr%2B9m1PmXSjag%3D%3D%7Ctkp%3ABk9SR4zJgqLHZQ

https://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/156834828282?_skw=monsoon+vintage+silk+dress&itmmeta=01JRX20MHW326XWRJ5KRCV840W&hash=item2484158ffa:g:aKAAAeSw7UJn5Wey&itmprp=enc%3AAQAKAAAA8FkggFvd1GGDu0w3yXCmi1fScbqcTPZM8zkinUp6Ma8iXCsOCnAQ%2FFWTSq35QRbAONvlw8J3O2xR4SAO54tLeBimZZ0wFSgZ6VikTctGURETjNIiBemsiNFjW75oSm6B2RNBIVpxyDeVqEcgs7R3J5ms5Kl9cSTS%2FjTpZisezz%2FYvRqYW2v4cwkwOeGo7YuEpX3RTS%2Bcqe8N5RaVSt49T%2FPYYzDwFLQlVkov2GFh80a6b9PM%2Bri%2BSZkHUoUOSubt%2FGYogsYXi8%2BN8OBAxjRplkSrnjqJ9Bg8r1520PkBqdeaKahtbvcspoelWCgCiwTZVA%3D%3D%7Ctkp%3ABk9SR5DJgqLHZQ

This type of thing is what they're wearing, in my area at least.

Me again! Miracle of miracles, we found a dress that DD likes. Not a prom dress as such - it's a short-sleeved wrap dress with an asymmetric hem, navy. The shop didn't do her small/petite size but ordered one in for her and it fits well. We bought some navy Converse hi-tops and she'll lace them with gold ribbon.

Next question - do they carry handbags? DD needs her Epipen with her. She said most girls are planning on asking male friends to carry their phones (in suit pockets) but this won't work for an Epipen. She hates handbags too, of course!

Glad you've found a dress now, that's the hard part done.

We ended up ordering from JJs House, and taking it to a seamstress to have it fitted perfectly. Cheaper than buying at a wedding shop, but the same result.

We haven't found shoes yet, but that is on my hit list, she wants heels though, but may regret that choice.

My daughter wont be without her phone so we will get her a clutch that has a chain (that can be hidden inside if not in use) so she can wear it if wanted.

Charity shops generally have a prom/ evening dress rail. I’ve seen some lovely dresses locally and some good labels . Definitely worth a look at a fraction of the price and some , stylish ones around- maybe post Christmas. Good for environment too!