Body-conscious 12 yr old struggling to find clothes

[Beaver80]

Please help me and my 12 year old daughter, we’re really struggling to find clothes she feels happy in. She’s super conscious about her belly because it’s not ‘flat’ like many of her friends who are running around in crop tops and tight T-shirts. She’s really happy in leggings and baggy T-shirts but we’re trying to find some nice things for the warmer weather and our summer holiday, everything seems to cling or be cropped really short. I bought a lovely jumpsuit but she felt it emphasised her stomach.

She’d love some basic vests (they all seem to be ribbed and clingy, or the boys’ vests have really low arm holes) or summery co-ords. She’s not super ‘girly’ but has a few dresses, she ideally needs some more casual options that aren’t baggy T-shirts. She cries sometimes about her shape and we have lots of talks about body positivity, and look at great role models. She eats a really balanced diet and I never mention calories or weight loss or anything negative about mine or other people’s bodies. These are just things she’s picking up 😔. I just want to find some clothes she feels good in and would really appreciate any tips. Thanks so much.

Going through very similar here. We have found H&M to have some styles that worked nicely. Flared jersey trousers with oversized T-shirts. Some of the oversized T-shirts were “cropped” but actually after some convincing to try them on they skimmed over the tummy and finished at the hip so she has been ok with that.

I was going to say H&M too! Also Uniqlo kids or small women’s’ sizes (they go down to xxs). Although Uniqlo is pricey their natural fabrics do last well. My DD has some lovely loose cropped summer trousers (full length on her) from last year, easy to wear with plain t shirts. Shopping in store with Uniqlo yields better results than online I find.
Also agree with pp - as someone who (now) struggles with my own tummy thanks to peri, “cropped” but loose tops are often much more flattering than overly long and baggy. Also snugger vests but with a denim or short sleeved shirt over the top for summer can hide a multitude. Sounds like you’re doing all the right things. Girls are such a range of shapes and sizes at that age but all wanting to be the same… it does even out a bit as they get older.

Would also suggest Uniqlo for vests and t-shirts. Good range of colours, sometimes good sales.

This is such a tricky stage for girls to find clothes. Too big for a lot of children’s ranges and then a lot of women’s clothes are too revealing, low necks and gaping arm holes.

I second/third votes for H&M, M&S and Uniqlo. Next go up to age 15/16 in some styles too. And Hollister can be v good for basics. They have plus or curvy size in some
styles which worked for my DD at that age. Tu worth a browse too.

My 13 yo is very slim but also wears the leggings baggy t shirt hoody uniform. She is really tricky to buy for and hates anything too pretty. In the summer she usually switches to shorts but I’m struggling to find good t shirts for her this year.

My DD is not very “girly” either, we got her some relaxed fit t-shirts from primark and sporty leggings/cycling shorts to go with them. She is a very tall 10 year old, would wear age 12-13 from girls section but the ladies XS/6 fits her nicely.
There are a lot of oversized t-shirt and cycling short co-ord sets around this summer.

This was my Dd at 12. A sudden growth spurt had left her with a much larger chest than most of her friends and a much curvier figure!
2 years later and the body is now in better proportions and she is more confident.
We never discussed size etc at home. Merely talked about how you have dress to flatter your own shape.
Most of her stuff came from H&M, Uniqlo and now also pull and bear. Some bits from supermarkets. Hollister if you’ve got a bit more money. To be honest for about a year her main wardrobe was leggings and bigger t-shirts and then cycling short type things and bigger t-shirts when it was warm! Holister flared leggings are a bit smarter and flattering.

Look at Mango Kids. They have some matching trouser/top co-ord things, patterned, in cotton/linen type material. There are various models in different colours. They're pretty but not in a girly way and they skim rather than cling or hang.

They also have some jumpsuits. I know these can go very wrong but again, cotton type and these skim rather than cling and have other details to focus on so you wouldn't see any belly issues. If I choose carefully I find a jumpsuit very much the best thing to de-emphasise my belly!

I wore a lot of hippy and alternative clothes at that stage: Indian style embroidered shirts, flares, harem pants, and peculiar celtic tie-dye numbers. They weren't revealing, were pretty and easy to wear without being childish or girly and let me visibly opt out of the fake tan insta look. Would she consider vintage grunge with a similar vibe?

DD2 got really curvy at this time, she's always been a skinny sporty child so it was a shock. Presumably it's the hormones at this age. TBF she never went back to being skinny, so there was an adjustment to the new shape.

The first thing we got her was some really excellent and fashionable jeans. It was good for her morale and they go with most things. At the time leggings and dresses were the style, but with jeans you can wear a nice jacket and look cool.

Thank you so much for the replies, there are some really great ideas and tips here. I think we need a mother daughter shopping trip :)

Always a good call! 🤣

A couple of nice shirts and floaty wide leg trousers would look nice (I say this as somebody concious of their stomach!!)

I saw there's a new unisex collection just launched at George which I really liked, and might fit what you're looking for.

https://direct.asda.com/george/kids/erica-davies-kids/D25M4G1C73,default,sc.html

I saw there's a new unisex collection just launched at George which I really liked, and might fit what you're looking for.

https://direct.asda.com/george/kids/erica-davies-kids/D25M4G1C73,default,sc.html

These are ideal! Thank you

DD is a bit younger but also does not have the super slim, fat body shape. A few things that have worked for her:

We buy quite a few cotton, wide legged trouser styles from Zara. They tend to fit as high waist over her belly. We have a few that are similar to this from earlier this season/last season.

Semi-cropped/short but wider t-shirts that aren't super cropped can work well too. Like this Sometimes with more regular t-shirts, she wears them sort of tucked under and then pulled out - on tiktok she gets ideas on how to do this eg using a bangle on the back to hold it all in place!

Also, she should explore vests a bit more. DD just got this one and I have been pleasantly surprised and more importantly, she feels good in it. But it might be that's the value of her being that little bit younger.

M&S also has a few styles of jeans that are very high waisted and fit her well - DD has been really happy as jeans can be very very difficult for her to find. And because they do fit, t-shirts etc over the top work well too.

Finally, layers can work well - a lesson learned well by me as an apple shaped woman! So a t-shirt or top and then something like a slightly tailored cardigan or jacket on top. Especially great at this time of year.

Good luck. Navigating this is so hard and I'm dreading it as DD gets into high school. She's very active and does lots of sport but I think it's ac ombination of natural body shape and a diet that's a bit restricted as a result of a combination of fussiness and various intolerances (that we can't completely pinpoint) that makes it hard.

These are such helpful tips, thank you ❤️