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Original poster

Constantly look tired and awful- any tips for a 30-something mum of three?

34 replies

creamandcookies2 · 05/04/2025 11:14

Hi all. Wondering if anybody has any tips they could give me to make me look fresher. I'm only 34 but feel and look so much older. I have three kids under 7, work only part time but I look and feel exhausted all the time. My face is very hollow and lacking volume, I'm not underweight but slim- around 8stone. Iv always had bags under my eyes since childhood and have very big eyes so they look worse. I also went grey early and have dark hair so keeping up with the coverage is a nightmare!

I know it sounds shallow, but its really getting me down. Even my friends say I look tired and comparing me to how my husband looks so young (he's 17 years older than me, so yes it's an insult.) People who know him always so he's ageing backwards and how young he looks, but im always looking tired. The last straw was a couple of weeks ago when I went for coffee on a work meetup, and somebody who is always blunt said she can tell iv got kids Cs I look about two decades older than my age but H is the younger looking one. I felt gutted as I spent ages deciding whether to go because I hated how I looked, but made an effort and did my hair, wore a sundress and put makeup on, and I still looked awful. I hate the way I look. Does anybody have any ways I can improve myself even a bit? I can't afford fillers or surgery.

OP posts:
Original poster
creamandcookies2 · 05/04/2025 16:03

WhatWouldTheDoctorDo · 05/04/2025 14:34

I’m sorry you’re feeling so down about yourself OP, that’s a horrible way to feel.

i don’t know much about vitiligo, but i know that i was feeling pretty meh about how i looked a few years ago and decided to take my skincare in hand, it made a huge difference to me.

What i changed…

  • drinking more water
  • increasing fibre and protein intake
  • double cleansing religiously at night
  • single cleanse in the morning
  • gentle aha toner for exfoliation
  • vitamin c oil in the morning after cleansing, followed by moisturiser and a separate spf cream.
  • retinol at night (though I’ve moved onto tret now)
  • regularly get my brows done
  • use WOW powder to tackle my grey roots between doing colour
  • take vitamin d daily

Once I sorted my skincare, I moved onto my wardrobe, and found a few instagram stylists etc. that I liked the look of and started rediscovering what type of clothes I like and building up a wardrobe that feels more like me.

I exercise for health and try and do a mix of strength and cardio.

I’ve now turned my attention to make up. There’s another thread around just now on skin tints which might be worth a look. Erborian CC and BB creams are good for a light touch and come is smaller tubes too.

I’m much happier with how I look - it makes me feel better, and I did it for me, not anyone else. It’s taken a while though, I’d recommend picking one or two things to focus on at a time (but alongside looking into health concerns).

Thanks, some good tips there. Can I ask where you get tretonin from? I did try retinol but didn't see a difference.

OP posts:
WhatWouldTheDoctorDo · 05/04/2025 17:26

I got it from skin & me @creamandcookies2

But I would say aha toner (I use medik 8 press & glow) and vitamin c were best for a more visible and quicker boost. I periodically use peptides too and like Sunday Riley’s pink drink for a bit of a spritz before vitamin c. Retinol/tret is a bit more long haul.

Original poster
creamandcookies2 · 05/04/2025 18:25

SpongeBlobSquareFace · 05/04/2025 13:49

Sounds like your husband should knock the volunteering on the head for the time being and pull his weight at home so you get a bit of a break
He must love all the comments about how young he looks...🙄

Yes he does lol.

OP posts:
UpToonGirl · 05/04/2025 22:19

Honestly I don't think any creams or even diet will make that much if a difference if you aren't able to sleep well and relax. You haven't had time for a bath in years? You need one night a week to yourself to relax in whatever way suits (bath, a run, sitting in bed with your phone) and one proper lie in a week. Presuming you're not breastfeeding a new born you need to carve out some time, your husband shouldn't be volunteering above you being able to prioritise yourself a little.

coxesorangepippin · 06/04/2025 02:26

He volunteers???
😂

He does not have time for that

Original poster
creamandcookies2 · 06/04/2025 20:29

coxesorangepippin · 06/04/2025 02:26

He volunteers???
😂

He does not have time for that

I know! But he enjoys it and what he does is life-changing for others. So I couldn't take that away from him.

OP posts:
CrankyCatz · 07/04/2025 12:42

@creamandcookies2 Hi. I just wanted to check if you have ever been tested for coeliac disease as I noticed you have IBS. I would hope that if a GP has diagnosed you with IBS that they would have tested for coeliac. It's just that vitiligo is auto immune as is celiac. CD can also cause dark circles and puffy eyes and affects your absorption of iron, vit B12 etc which could be making you feel knackered! It's very much under diagnosed. Please go to your GP for blood tests/health checks and don't be fobbed off by them, let them know how exhausted you are! If health is all ok the only other things I can add is make sure you aren't dying your hair too dark, if going grey your skin tone changes too and too dark hair can be very ageing, maybe highlights would help. Try and reduce sugar intake and snack on healthy nuts and seeds instead, too much sugar is very bad for your skin.

Original poster
creamandcookies2 · 07/04/2025 16:02

@CrankyCatz I got tested for coeliac last year as my mum has it. I do not have it. I do think I will push more for testing or maybe get a private blood test as recommended by somebody else on here, as thyroid issues in particular are associated with vitiligo.

Yer I get you about the hair. I think j am going to go a bit lighter this year. Iv always liked the contrast between my dark hair and green eyes but i think it definitely js ageing me now as you said, good advice. I can't eat nuts but do try to eat fruit. I just can't give up sugar, I know its really bad. I try to limit myself buy it is like an addiction lol.

OP posts:
CrankyCatz · 07/04/2025 16:29

creamandcookies2 · 07/04/2025 16:02

@CrankyCatz I got tested for coeliac last year as my mum has it. I do not have it. I do think I will push more for testing or maybe get a private blood test as recommended by somebody else on here, as thyroid issues in particular are associated with vitiligo.

Yer I get you about the hair. I think j am going to go a bit lighter this year. Iv always liked the contrast between my dark hair and green eyes but i think it definitely js ageing me now as you said, good advice. I can't eat nuts but do try to eat fruit. I just can't give up sugar, I know its really bad. I try to limit myself buy it is like an addiction lol.

That's interesting about your Mum. If you decide to test again for coeliac make sure you are eating bread/gluten daily in more than one meal a day, for at least six weeks beforehand otherwise the test might not be accurate. Good idea though to get the other tests, hopefully you find a solution to feel better!

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