I feel so sad about my photos

[Defrump]

I know ageing is a privilege, I know I need to get over it and accept it but I feel so sad and silly that I can no longer take pictures of myself without using all the filters
My face looks like it has middle age spread, it's so puffy
My eyes have shrunk
I don't look TOO bad in selfies but in a group photo or if anyone else takes a picture I look positively gargoylic.
And then I have friends who are a similar age- 54 ish- who still have remarkable cheekbones and no hint of jowl.
Don't tell me about tret and LED masks, I have everything and NONE of it works
Yes I will get over it I just feel sad about it.
I was the archetypal ugly duckling at school- thick glasses, facial hair, mono eyebrow then had a glow up in my 20s and looked young for my age until about a year ago
Uff

OP, If you’re just taking photos to filter and put on social media then stop, as it’s making you feel bad - especially if you keep using filters, surely that just makes you feel worse as it’s not real.

Can you try and rethink taking photos all the time - maybe only take them for a nice occasion or something, and then smile and know that it’s a record of a happy moment in time with your friends or family.

We are usually our own worst critic. Think about the people you love - when you see photos of them you’re not picking apart their appearance, you’re thinking of them as the person they are.

If it's any consolation, I have always looked like a gargoyle on photos, even though I don't have jowls and have great cheekbones. I hate having my pictures taken. Look more than fine in the mirror though.

I get it OP.

I hate looking in mirrors, hate photos. For me Selfies are the worst. I look dreadful. Collapsed, saggy face. When I was young, I thought you looked like yourself but with wrinkles, but my face has completely changed shape. I don’t look like me anymore. Sometimes I unexpectedly catch a glimpse of myself when I am out snd I physically start, because I don’t recognize my own reflection. I used to like putting on make up to go out, as I used to think I looked nice in it. But I no longer look nice in it.

I hate trying on clothes as my body still looks young and slim, but with this old face on top.

I too have similar aged friends with no jowls and great cheekbones who still look young great.

One of the worst things is that when you try to talk about it in here, you get berated by other women telling you how great it is to no longer be sexually attractive 🙄

So solidarity OP. It sucks.

It does suck, and I have Botox and fillers just to stay looking like me.

My mouth just suddenly turned down, practically overnight. There was no way I was going to spend the next however many decades walking around looking like this ☹️

So I got it fixed. People can judge if they like.

@HornyHornersPinkyWinky
Ooh no definitely not for social media
I went through a crazy phase when I turned 50 and fell in love and felt amazing and I was posting like mad but then I came to my senses.
I deleted all social media
I'm talking about pictures you take with the family on special occasions.
I used to love looking back over them but now I just cringe
I know that in five years I will look even worse but honestly five years ago I looked like a young girl. The speed of ageing has been brutal

Also an ugly duckling, but in my case, I didn't have any particular uplift in my 20s. However, if I compare myself in photos then to now, my youthfulness stands out and pictures I thought were terrible at the time now look great compared to me in my 50s. My face looks saggy and somehow crumpled - not wrinkled, but crumpled like a paper bag that's been scrunched up and then smoothed out - and I have awful jowls. I just try not to think about it. In 10 years' time I'll probably think photos of me now look good by comparison to me in my 60s! I see zero point in messing about with filters, I look how I look!

Oh believe me I would get all the fillers and Botox but knowing my luck I would end up on some Channel 4 documentary about the dangers of tweakments.

For me, it is the miserable face looking back at me when, yet, I am happy. The resting downturned mouth. The way I think I appear to others who have the misfortune to have to look at my miserable face. I really should focus on the fact that I am not miserable, as let’s face it, it could be worse! If I had the money, a family that would encourage and not judge, and no fear of things going wrong, I would be booked in for surgery or whatever tomorrow.

Do your research, and be prepared to travel. Make sure you go to an actual doctor, not a beautician.

When someone else takes a group photo they automatically look for one where they look good. It’s unlikely that you look terrible and every other person looks great! It’s probably just your perception.

We were looking at photos the other night, I seem to channel my inner bag lady in most of them.

But then I looked at pictures of our wedding and the little white haired ladies that were my mother and my aunts and they looked so very much older than I do now despite them being 5 years younger in that pic than I am now.

Made me think again. Yes they looked old, but they also looked so happy, living in the moment.

I know the feeling. What makes it so hard is how suddenly it happens as women pass 50. I think the hormonal changes mean women can sometimes age quite dramatically, almost overnight. It is hard.
I hate 99.9% of photos of me.

I miss a proper camera, where you would go and get them developed and cringe when you picked them up from the shop - but they were so natural. Can you imagine how todays generation would cope with that!

I rarely take photos of myself, I don't let people tag me in them, I really do hate looking at myself, and in the mirror. DH says i'm good looking and I don't realise it. I too was an ugly duckling back in school, no attention then hit 16 and boom. Now nearly 50. I do feel though that I see people online and SM with filters and airbrushed (I've never used a filter, wouldn't know where to find one or how to use one) and it gives me less confidence because everyone is so put together and has perfect photos (well most).

We live in a different world now, I bet if we still had our disposable cameras out on a saturday night there would be some corkers!

I used to look dead glam in my passport photos but the latest one......Done on the spur of the moment and so I have to live with it! I was a hot sweaty mess and had to put my hair in a loose ponytail. I looked like a victorian cook!