Missing my hair

[Enigma53]

Chemo induced hair loss.
Thought I was okay with it, but I’m not ( no choice I know! )

DD bought me a spa day voucher for Mother’s Day. I was so happy. Then I thought, I can’t go until my hair is back. I can go obviously, but i miss my hair so much.

Thats it really.

That must be really difficult OP. Our hair is a huge part of our identity and I can understand why you'd feel vulnerable without it.

@1PercentClub that’s it, the vulnerability. I feel naked. I don’t “ rock “ being bald, I just don’t.

I’m so sorry, I can imagine how vulnerable it makes you feel. I know others will say to sod it and go to the spa anyway, but only you know whether your hair loss will stop you enjoying yourself. I imagine finding the mental strength to be brave on every front is tough right now.

It is tough. Every day since the second chemo, has been “ one foot in front the other”

First the strand's, then the clumps, then the pixie cut and finally the buzz completely off look!

Next comes sickness, followed by aching bones, then the fatigue. Now the oral thrush and ulcers. What next?

It sounds weird, but I feel i could cope if I had my hair( but I don’t)

Just a heads up OP. Will the spa cater for those with or who have had cancer? Many don’t and several of my patients have been very disappointed when they were looking forward to a spa day only to get there to find that the spa wouldn’t let them have anything other than a manicure. If you decide to go do check beforehand.

That’s understandable, losing your hair must feel like one indignity too many. If you don’t feel like you then how can you cope with everything you’re going through as you?

Sending you much love and strength.

That’s a point actually.
Thanks for raising it. I will check with the spa.

Yes that’s it. How does one navigate this journey? I don’t know.

Hi @Enigma53I hope you don't mind me posting as my experience of losing missing & mourning my hair is due to alopecia.
As someone who has lost (most of) my hair but hasn't had the fear, discomfort, pain etc of your diagnosis & treatment I wanted to tell you you're amazing. Losing your hair does feel like losing your identity & I found it useful to remember it's real it's not vanity or anything like that - when we're asked to describe someone (or ourselves) so someone can find them hair is always in the top three description.

Also my dermatologist described losing my hair over 12 weeks as "traumatic" as it was so fast & you're dealing with so much more!

Hope your treatment goes amazingly & you have your hair (& yourself) back soon 💐

I've been there OP. I did get used to the bald head eventually and decided I couldn't let it stop me from doing things. I tried wigs and hats and scarves but it was so obvious I was ill it seemed pointless. I know it's hard to accept but it's going to be a while before you get your old hair back so if you want to do something, don't let your bald head stop you. Having said that do check if your team is ok for you to go to a spa and if the spa is ok with it - I waited until I was well and it was a lot more enjoyable not having to worry about infection etc. You'll get lots of support on the cancer board if you want it, many of us have been through the same and come out the other side.

There is no out the other side. I have two incurable cancers.

Thanks for sharing your experience though.

Sorry to hear that OP. Even more reason not to let your baldness hold you back from doing the things you want to do.