How can I feel more attractive?

[Confusedaboutthisfriendship]

I’m 40 years old and have a 3 year old DS. I feel so unattractive ever since I gave birth to DS. My pores are open, my skin has started to sag, my hair isn’t as shiny and I have retained about 2 stones from pregnancy that I can’t lose no matter what. I really hate how I look and basically want to cry looking at my pre pregnancy photos. I feel awful looking in the mirror and don’t want to wear anything but baggy clothes because I feel extremely ugly, unattractive and fat. I eat really well, exercise a lot, do basic skincare but doesn’t seem to make much difference. I would appreciate any advice, feeling really depressed about my looks

It’s hard when you feel like it’s everything that’s wrong!
I always feel better when I’ve had an ‘everything’ shower, my nails are neat and done and my hair trimmed.
eating and sleeping well will help you feel better from within... and don’t speak badly about yourself. If you wouldn’t say it to your friend that don’t say it about yourself.

I’m sorry you’re feeling this way, it’s really tough and I’ve been there so can really empathise.

First thing I’d do is go see your GP for a chat and some blood tests to rule out any thyroid issues, hormone imbalances or vitamin deficiencies that may be affecting your health and ability to lose weight. Are you taking any hormonal contraception?

How’s your mental health, have you experienced any postnatal depression or anxiety?

Elf do a really good poreless putty primer apparently. Wear that over a spf moisturizer and under tinted moisturizer/ bb cream, a liquid blush like glossier cloud paint in puff or daniel sandler watercolour in cherub, a bit of highlighter on the cheeks, bit of powder around the nose. Get revlon cream eyeshadow in the bronze shade (it's very sheer) and pop it on the eyelid, add mascara, a clean line on the lashline with eyeliner pen if you have extra time. Benetint (or etude house lipstain which is cheaper) on the lips.

If you are v oily, then spritz with setting spray.

I am no beauty and wear baggy dresses 99% of the time even pre pregnancy but I feel like I don't look so bad. My dress is mainly hidden under a big puffa coat and a jumper anyway, thank goodness for English weather.

I now feel more depressed about my old face which is nearly twice as old as yours! Thought I wasn’t too bad before I read that!

Do you think a session with an image consultant would help. I was given a present of a session and the lady covered makeup ,colours that suited me. At the time I was not very good at sorting out an outfit and was asked to bring a case of my favourite clothes. on the train on the way back I was given lots of compliments so the change was that noticeable. She also covered what clothes would suit me and we went round her local shopping centre. Failing that a lot of info can be found in style books including colours. Also a consultation at a makeup counter could be useful. As ever a John Lewis stylist session could be useful .I was lucky enough to be able to go A WEA course run by a colour me beautiful consultant and it was a tremendous course. She would go round the big department shops with us on a Sunday. Very sadly she died some years ago. I do hope you can get things sorted. I see some consultants tell people they can arrange charity shop visits now. I am impressed by that as most of the clothes I like are from charity shops. Vinted and eBay are worth looking at. It is worth having a capsule wardrobe of things that a person really likes and can be combined .There is a lot available on the net eg you tube on style info and capsule wardrobes .

Op give it time you are attractive but dont see it so start saying it i say it all the time on here just love your self more.
You have a little one to chase at the moment but in time he will be doing things for him self and you will have more time back for you.
But right now dont be so hard on your self tell yourself you are attractive you do look good etc own it love it be more you.
I posted on a different thread earlier about someone wanting to take tanning pills because they didnt like their skin go have a read on what i posted.
Same thing i would say to you.
Dont forget every time you pass the mirror say oh wait someone is looking fabulous.