Clothing anxiety is this a thing ?

[NellieShoe]

Hi if anyone can help me I would appreciate it.
I seem to have developed some sort of anxiety around clothes and what items to put with what to create an outfit. I never used to give getting dressed a second thought but now it fills me with dread and I resort to leggings and hoodies. Anything different feels odd and I feel I look silly. This has worsened since Covid.
I am very tall and so just buying an outfit I see that I like can never happen as the trousers won’t fit me and then I can’t ever find a similar alternative.
I have tried creating Pinterest boards with styling and outfit ideas.
I constantly rearrange my wardrobe to try and make it easier. Nothing seems to help .
I spend most of my time dog walking or cleaning or at work (Quite Physical job)
I am 50 and very small budget and literally have no clue anymore.

If you have the funds what about a stylist? I ditched 80% of my wardrobe during lockdown, had my colours done professionally, had a bra and body shape analysis, so I've bought some logic and rationalism to my wardrobe. I still have massive gaps owing to getting rid of everything but I'm happier owning less and thinking more consciously about each purchase.

When you are buying wide legged trousers, take a look at what the model is wearing on the website or look them up on line. Typically if one part of your outfit is wide them you balance it with something narrow. That's why people recommend a shirt over leggings. Wide legged trousers usually are styled with a slimmer fitting top so that the overall look isn't blocky.

You could also look for accessories to help to tie an outfit together. I love belts because I'm pear shaped and I need them to stop my trousers falling down and to add emphasis to my small waist.

If you wear bras make sure they fit you properly, a well fitting bra can give the impression of having lost weight and your clothes will fit better if everything is in the right place.

A light weight car coat or knee length trench.

I'm like this (since menopause I think!), sometimes I try on 6 or 7 jeans/ top combinations, getting more stressed and anxious with each outfit. Sometimes I end up abandoning the outing all together.
I try to prepare a whole outfit the night before now, and try to convince myself that it will work!

I will try different tops and they never seem to look right. When I look at say the picture of an outfit I can’t match it.

Maybe it is the menopause then

Yeah I try to balance out a fitted top with wider trousers but it never seems to work.
I own one belt. Always find it hard to get a belt to fit. I have a much smaller waist than hips not sure if I’m hour glass or pear.

Would love to be able to afford a stylist

I put on four different tops today, and ended up with the first one!

Styled by Susie is worth a look - they have cheap monthly memberships to an online Facebook group.

I find the Whering app really useful, and it got me through an image crisis recently. You take pictures of your clothes and can then create outfits in the app.

Somehow being removed from my clothes and not stood in front of the wardrobe lets me be more creative with my choices. I plan my clothes while I watch TV with a cup of tea, and I'm wearing so many more of my items than I was before, rather than just putting the same old things on.

After an initial few buys where I could really see I had some gaps thanks to the app, I've hardly bought anything either, as I'm making better use of what I have.

I also discovered that 58% of my clothes are preloved, and how much I'd spent on them in total (less than I'd have thought thanks to lots of charity shop bargains, I have quite a lot of clothes).

Thanks for the recommendation 🙂 but I can barely afford the clothes .

Thanks I’ve downloaded the Whering app. Gonna give it a go although currently procrastinating uploading the clothes.

Hi OP, It sounds like you maybe need visual cues to picture what works together? I find it can be hard to get an idea of how an outfit will look, especially if it’s a shape or style you don’t wear all the time.

I really like Wears My Money as she has a blog (not just on IG, thank god) and sends a weekly themed email newsletter with 5-10 outfit ideas. They are not always to my taste, but it definitely helps to visualise how to put outfits together. She’s also done some posts on proportions and colours, which can be helpful to see why things work or don’t.

On the ottomans full of clothing that maybe need a clear-out, the whole Marie Kondo thing of sparking joy can work, but another way of looking at it is ‘if this was covered in dogshit, would I clean it or bin it?’ Focuses the mind!

I sympathise as I went though this too at a similar age. I think it's a hormonal thing & COVID of course wouldn't have helped at all. The last couple of years I've found Melissa Murrell on YouTube really helpful. There are loads of videos on different body shapes/ lifestyles & how to dress for them. She's also on Instagram daily with generally a lot of accessibly priced clothes. A second Instagram account well worth following is Invest In Style. She posts lots of M&S, H&M, Uniqlo outfits & mini capsule wardrobes.

I've also downloaded the Whering app & use it every day. I find it really useful to work out the clothes that will fit my lifestyle. Before I buy anything now I work out how many outfits I can make up from it & will I get the wear out of it.
Can you have a try on session of the clothes you have to see which items you are still happy to wear? Start with that & then you should be able to identify any gaps? It does sound like you need a largely functional wardrobe & maybe Uniqlo would be a good place to start.

I have found invest in style on Instagram and I like the way she styles one item with multiple things.
I have been busy uploading my clothes to Whering. I find it so helpful already.
Thanks for the suggestions !

Absolutely bang on I need visual cues and already finding the Whering app so helpful.
I love the dog shit selection idea

OP have you seen Gudrun Sjoden catalogue? I shop from there. It displays a collection of things designed to match (several collections to choose from) then puts all the items from a collection on one page along with the colour choices. It's really easy to pick things that go together that way. At the back of the catalogue is a few pages of basics to put with the collections for variety, just pick your additional pieces in the same colour scheme as the other items you've bought. Some is colourful patterns and some is plain neutrals, the clothes aren't fitted and the trousers are meant to be cropped so your height and changing body shouldn't be a problem. They even do shoes, socks, tights and coats. They're not the cheapest but I like the quality. If you're not into bright clashing patterns you'll have to look past the ways they style the models and imagine the garments in the plain colours, they do include all the colours in a colour guide in the catalogue. It's all designed to be layered and has made dressing so much easier for me, just shed layers as the seasons warm up.

Duplicate

A pear shape means your top is noticeably smaller than your bottom half, so small breasts and/or narrow(er) shoulders, and although the waist is small, it's not as defined. To be an hour glass, visualise an hour glass - there's equal balance between the top and bottom with a dramatically smaller middle, so if you're busty, then you'll be an hourglass.

Yes, clothing anxiety is a thing. The anxiety, particularly over appearance, getting dressed and sense of self is absolutely caused by perimenopause and fluctuating hormones. It's perfectly natural, unfortunately, and usually something you will move out of. HRT does help, but if you lead with anxiety when talking to a GP about it, they will probably push anti-depressants. Either way and with time, you will come through this anxiety.

My boobs have got bigger since Perimenopause which will be the weight gain. I also now have a much rounder bum. I would say I’m leaning more towards hour glass than pear.

Not necessarily. Boobs become less dense as the glandular breast tissue turns to fat. And as we know, fat is bulkier than dense tissue, and why they've grown.
This isn't gained weight thought. Perimenopausal weight gain is across the middle, bottom and thighs as the fat cells here produce oestrogen (to make up for the decline in oestrogen in the ovaries). Either way, you know your body better than I do, so I hope my explanation has been helpful.

Be kind to yourself, perimenopause is really hard. It really fucks with your sense of self. You will come through it. We all do.

I'm short with an hour glass figure and range from size 10 to size 14 depending on what season it is (I eat more in the winter). The only thing I'm ever happy in is a summer dress and flips flops. The dress means a one hit choice of clothing (so no co-ordinating or faffing) and they're usually cotton so don't irritate. I don't have to tuck anything in or layer up either. But I'm a bloody nightmare in the winter. I can't wear wool (I have an allergy, even 1% blended) or anything remotely itchy, I hate anything with bows or belts or "things" attached. I loathe wearing layers or tucking anything in. It's so bad that I even feel uncomfortable looking at other women wearing layers or wool or whatever. I get in such a terrible state over clothes and end up wearing the same ancient stuff all the time, after I've tried on an discarded tons of other things! I dread going anywhere "nice", except in the summer. I wish I lived on a desert island.

Thanks so much it really does make you feel out of sorts.

I feel you I really do. Wish I could feel ok in a dress but it’s everything I just feel everything looks odd 🤣