Help a very unfashionable woman out!

Scruffysitter · 2025-03-05T19:56:43+00:00

Hello, After 6 years of pregnancy, breastfeeding and grubby-handed toddlers, I think it’s time I started to try and look presentable again. I was never very fashionable before but I only wear leggings, jogging bottoms and (one pair of) skinny jeans with T-shirts and sweatshirts these days. I’m a stay at home mum, so practical clothes are best most of the time, but on the odd time I’m going out to lunch/dinner, concerts, shows etc I’m clueless about what to wear. I’m late 30s, 5’7, slim/athletic shape, flat chested (thanks breastfeeding) but with a bit of loose skin on my tummy so crops are a no go for me. I also can’t wear heels because of a previous foot injury. I’d like to look relatively fashionable and smart, but if I had a personal style, it would probably be more sporty / beach vibes. What styles of clothing would be good for me to try to look a bit more put together? Where should I even shop now I’m no longer in my 20s or even early 30s?! Ta very much

Eyerollexpert · 05/03/2025 20:03

Great pair of jeans, smart stylish trainers, one flattering top, jacket sorted. Most ppl are mostly dressed down, but still stylish. As to where to buy from very budget dependant.
Happy shopping.

CapaciousHag · 05/03/2025 20:47

Depending on your tastes and pocket …

Adanola

Free People

Wales Bonner

Loving your shock that even people over 35 are still expected to wear clothes! It’s very sweet. Most of us adapt, eventually …

Peaceandquietandacuppa · 05/03/2025 21:46

CapaciousHag · 05/03/2025 20:47

Depending on your tastes and pocket …

Adanola

Free People

Wales Bonner

Loving your shock that even people over 35 are still expected to wear clothes! It’s very sweet. Most of us adapt, eventually …

🤣🤣🤣

Peaceandquietandacuppa · 05/03/2025 21:51

Ooh now you’re so old, you’ll have to get yourself down to Chums and Bon Marché 😉

I’m almost 40 and I wear what I like and shop where I like! The difference is that I now choose different styles based on my body, not my age - midi skirts instead of minis because I don’t like my knees. But I’ve seen a fab 50 year old in a mini and crop top with washboard abs! Based on what you’ve said, I reckon you’d like Free People, Ghanda (via Vinted) and Anthropologie. Agree, get some nice basics - Uniqlo is great. Jeans, T-shirts, Jacket, belt, earrings, some nice suede trainers.

Gymbunny2025 · 05/03/2025 21:58

Lulu lemon and H&M for sporty vibe.

M&S for good quality reasonable priced basics

Sézane for knitwear and a few treats to myself

I'm about 5 years on from you and it's fun falling in love with clothes again but dressing for a whole different decade (almost) than the last time you could think about fashion!

TweedCoat · 06/03/2025 07:37

I would add that as and when you do find something you like, buy in in a couple of colours and that way you have an instant mix and match capsule wardrobe. I think it's a mistake to have 1 top you like, or one pair of jeans. This way you start to have an easy 'uniform' that you can quickly pull together. Buy things carefully that are easy to launder and need minimal ironing.

Also... don't scrimp on the details. Grab a handbag, choose a nice belt that you can see, wear a cute pair of earrings, go for that statement bracelet. For me the accessories are sometimes what makes the difference between wearing 'clothes' and wearing an 'outfit'. A cool pair of earrings can literally take a daytime outfit into an evening outfit.

I pretty much start each day with the shoes I'll need for the day and go from there. You have to be realistic when you're running around after little ones! Then I check the weather and lay everything out on the bed including shoes and jacket to check it goes together.

Get a really nice watch that you like and pretty-much goes with everything. This can really elevate an outfit.

Get the best haircut that you can (ditto glasses if you wear them). You wear your hair every day... don't worry about the colour... that's less important these days I think. But get a great cut (doesn't have to be expensive) that will give you styling options if you want them will help you every day.

Finally consider makeup with can really help you feel put together. You don't have to wear it but a two-minute routine can really help give you a boost. Then elevate that for going out... a brighter lip/more mascara and there you have it.

Obviously you'll still have leggings/hoodie days but I hope this helps! My DC are much older and I'm only just getting back to this now!!

Original poster

Scruffysitter · 06/03/2025 20:13

TweedCoat · 06/03/2025 07:37

I would add that as and when you do find something you like, buy in in a couple of colours and that way you have an instant mix and match capsule wardrobe. I think it's a mistake to have 1 top you like, or one pair of jeans. This way you start to have an easy 'uniform' that you can quickly pull together. Buy things carefully that are easy to launder and need minimal ironing.

Also... don't scrimp on the details. Grab a handbag, choose a nice belt that you can see, wear a cute pair of earrings, go for that statement bracelet. For me the accessories are sometimes what makes the difference between wearing 'clothes' and wearing an 'outfit'. A cool pair of earrings can literally take a daytime outfit into an evening outfit.

I pretty much start each day with the shoes I'll need for the day and go from there. You have to be realistic when you're running around after little ones! Then I check the weather and lay everything out on the bed including shoes and jacket to check it goes together.

Get a really nice watch that you like and pretty-much goes with everything. This can really elevate an outfit.

Get the best haircut that you can (ditto glasses if you wear them). You wear your hair every day... don't worry about the colour... that's less important these days I think. But get a great cut (doesn't have to be expensive) that will give you styling options if you want them will help you every day.

Finally consider makeup with can really help you feel put together. You don't have to wear it but a two-minute routine can really help give you a boost. Then elevate that for going out... a brighter lip/more mascara and there you have it.

Obviously you'll still have leggings/hoodie days but I hope this helps! My DC are much older and I'm only just getting back to this now!!

Thank you so much for all this. It all sounds so simple when you put it like that. I think I’ve just lost myself a bit!

OP posts:

Original poster

Scruffysitter · 06/03/2025 20:15

CapaciousHag · 05/03/2025 20:47

Depending on your tastes and pocket …

Adanola

Free People

Wales Bonner

Loving your shock that even people over 35 are still expected to wear clothes! It’s very sweet. Most of us adapt, eventually …

😂In fairness, I feel like I’ve aged 50 years in the last 5 years! Thanks for the brand suggestions, I’ll check them out

OP posts:

TheLongRider · 06/03/2025 20:37

Don't feel as if you have to get everything new that's in "fashion". Fashion trends can come and go in flash. Develop your own style and own it. Have a look on Vinted for brands that you like but may not be able to afford full price.

I remember going back to work after my maternity leave and feeling off-kilter as regards my post baby body. I did go for a style consultation in the equivalent of John Lewis with a small enough budget and came out with enough ideas and clothes to get me back into work.

I felt another change with the menopause, clothes that could look cute and girlish now looked as if I was Red Riding Hoods granny as opposed to Red Riding Hood! It's taken me three years to refine my wardrobe and I'm still tweaking stuff.

I agree with PP about accessories, that is the difference between wearing and styling an outfit. They don't have to be expensive to look good. I rate the leather belts and jewellery from & Other Stories.

Unfortunately building a new wardrobe takes time, sometimes you'll kiss a lot of frogs before you find your prince.

FancyBiscuitsLevel · 06/03/2025 20:45

You are tall slim and like a skinny bottom half/baggy top half shape to clothes- so Kat Farmer /does my bum look 40 on instagram might be worth a follow for you to get an idea of how to dress your body shape.

Eyerollexpert · 06/03/2025 22:05

@TheLongRider
Red Riding Hoods Granny😂 Love this💕

Bey · 06/03/2025 22:52

TweedCoat · 06/03/2025 07:37

I would add that as and when you do find something you like, buy in in a couple of colours and that way you have an instant mix and match capsule wardrobe. I think it's a mistake to have 1 top you like, or one pair of jeans. This way you start to have an easy 'uniform' that you can quickly pull together. Buy things carefully that are easy to launder and need minimal ironing.

Also... don't scrimp on the details. Grab a handbag, choose a nice belt that you can see, wear a cute pair of earrings, go for that statement bracelet. For me the accessories are sometimes what makes the difference between wearing 'clothes' and wearing an 'outfit'. A cool pair of earrings can literally take a daytime outfit into an evening outfit.

I pretty much start each day with the shoes I'll need for the day and go from there. You have to be realistic when you're running around after little ones! Then I check the weather and lay everything out on the bed including shoes and jacket to check it goes together.

Get a really nice watch that you like and pretty-much goes with everything. This can really elevate an outfit.

Get the best haircut that you can (ditto glasses if you wear them). You wear your hair every day... don't worry about the colour... that's less important these days I think. But get a great cut (doesn't have to be expensive) that will give you styling options if you want them will help you every day.

Finally consider makeup with can really help you feel put together. You don't have to wear it but a two-minute routine can really help give you a boost. Then elevate that for going out... a brighter lip/more mascara and there you have it.

Obviously you'll still have leggings/hoodie days but I hope this helps! My DC are much older and I'm only just getting back to this now!!

Love this reply thank you for some inspiration

Cantonet · 07/03/2025 09:54

FancyBiscuitsLevel · 06/03/2025 20:45

You are tall slim and like a skinny bottom half/baggy top half shape to clothes- so Kat Farmer /does my bum look 40 on instagram might be worth a follow for you to get an idea of how to dress your body shape.

No please don't copy or take advice from her.
She mostly looks like an etiolated string bean these days in her tight black leather-look leggings. She used to look lovely.

JustJazzy · 07/03/2025 16:52

I'm in my 40s and love pinterest for outfit ideas. I buy most of my clothes from asos, vinted, adidas and h&m. My style is casual, edgy, boho, grungy, a lil skater 😄

I love leather and faux fur jackets, jeans, wide leg faux leather trousers, faux leather short skirts, graphic/band tees, lace bodysuits, trainers, dms, western style boots.

Free people would be a brand to look for beach style clothing.

A good pair of well fitting jeans is a must have imo, I love levis and abercrombie for jeans as they have a high percentage of cotton which help hold my mum tum in 🙈😄

I'd say before starting to shop go on pinterest pin outfits you like then write a list of the items you need to recreate these outifts and what fabrics, colours etc you like.
Keeping a list helps with not impulse buying items that aren't what your looking for.

JackieGoodman · 07/03/2025 17:09

Agree good pair of jeans and to Pinterest for ideas
Love FreePeople but too pricey for me so I have a look now and again to see what I like and find more budget options from H&M, Next, Zara etc

Fishwiife · 07/03/2025 19:48

The side stripe joggers on the mint velvet post would be perfect!