What to do?

[MehMam]

I've young DCs under 5 and run my own business from home. As my world is focussed on these things, ie being a parent and working in my own specific bubble, my style is very casual. All I seem to wear is the following: joggers, a loose v-neck T-shirt and a patterned jumper. It's got to the point where I'm not really keen on jeans because they're less comfortable than joggers! I'm in my late 40s and a Size 12. What should I wear to get out of this style rut? I'm ashamed to admit that I like dressing like this precisely because it's so easy. I don't socialise much and meetings are mostly online which enables these questionable choices. There is very little reason to even wear a smart casual outfit, at least that's what I'm telling myself since I started using the name Mum. I seem to be stuck in either colourful/geometric-patterned oversized jumpers or cardigans like the ones Sharon Horgan's (yeah, I wish) character wore in Catastrophe and we all know that show's 10 years old.

I recently came across a thread on here discussing mum uniforms and I would say, at a push, I'm the 'jumper, trainers and straight leg jeans' type of mum (although, as I shared, it's joggers for me, and the type that have a long cuff and are tapered / harem style to hide my thighs!).

I'd happily be told that I should give myself a strong kick up the arse, or continue as I am.

Can anyone take mercy on me and point me in the right direction? What should a working mum my age wear?

You’re probably right to be pre-emptive about it - rather than being that panicked poster with a week long European conference to dress for, and no clothes apart from a shredded fleece and two faded pairs of leggings …

The trouble with being at home in nothing but joggers (particularly in middle age) is that you won’t notice when you spread from a size 12 to a size 14, and then … Your children won’t tell you …

The thing to do is to gradually upgrade and elevate your casual wardrobe. Are you familiar with

Community Clothing

Very simple, beautifully and ethically made clothes that are a definite cut above shabby loungewear. No garish patterns. They’d take you from a zoom meeting to soft play to the opera.

Do you have a budget?

With the caveat that you "should" wear what you feel is right for you, I've been thinking about this for a while so I can relate (WFH, live in either jeans or leggings and the same 2/3 polo neck jumpers or large cosy cardigans). I have stressed before every event or trip (went to the US for work last year and finished packing at midnight the night before my flight as I had the whole wardrobe dragged put trying to find something suitable). I'm also fussy about clothes and I'm on a budget. Not a great combination!

No real answers as I'm in the thick of it but what I'm planning to do is a) clear out my wardrobe b) do research about what brands I like and can afford c) buy a few select pieces of the same style of the few "nice" clothes I have to create a smarter "work uniform" that requires the same cognitive energy that I use at the moment to get up and drag on some leggings.

I came across a stylist page on Instagram and she shares some videos and tips about what brands to consider for elevating your work wardrobe at this stage of life. Her name is Lizzie Edwards. Worth a look.

"The trouble with being at home in nothing but joggers (particularly in middle age) is that you won’t notice when you spread from a size 12 to a size 14, and then.."

Oh my, that made me sit up and take notice!It's so true and I hadn't even thought of it. Genuinely, thank you for pointing that out. It's the jolt I've needed to justify my way out of these unstructured clothes.

Thanks also for the Community Clothing link. I like the Breton tops 'face palm' so have my eye on the white top with green stripes.

Budget-wise, I'm happy to spend on clothes that suit and flatter me. No surprise, I mostly shop High St. 'mum' brands online: Boden, REISS, Whistles, AllSaints, M&S and other brands Mum’s like e.g. Hush or Oliver Bonas.

Simply,...I need to lose weight. You've made me realise that I'm hiding myself and I've been justifying my 'style' with the 'busy mum, no social life' line.... (which is true, but I'd like to feel better).

For me, I always struggle with outfits and packing when I go on holiday. I look absolutely dreadful looking back at my photos, but it's mostly because I'm out of shape as opposed to being stuck when it comes to matching separates or styling.

I think a mass wardrobe clear out is good plan and then work towards building a capsule wardrobe. I need to claw back some head space to get round to it!

I had a look at the stylist you recommended thanks. Her colour analysis post looks interesting.

Glad to be of assistance!

Two things:

You’re right that ‘busy mum’ is no excuse. Most of the women I’ve known through two professions have also been mothers, or had otherwise full lives, and they are almost without exception immaculate during the working day.

You probably realise that you need to be getting out more. The fact that you don’t regularly need clothes for meeting other adults is not a good thing - for you, your household or your career. Why not engineer some things to get dressed for?

You are worthy of some nice clothes. You wouldn’t let your kids walk around looking like scruffbags all the time. You shouldn’t doit either - unless it makes you cheerful, which it doesn’t.

I absolutely went through this phase about 5 years ago. I didn’t want to blow loads of money so started buying things on ebay/ Vinted. I now have loads of nice dresses, some nice coats, some different jackets. So when I’m at work I look decent! Weekends are a different story, mind you….