Ladies tuxedo to Army black tie event

[Nooneknowsbutme]

Hello,

I am not military, and have been invited to an Army boxing event, where the dress code is 'Mess dress/Black tie'
I'm thinking about wearing a ladies tuxedo (Fitted single breast black jacket with satin lapels, and black slim fit trousers with satin stripe down the side)

But want to know is this acceptable?

Maybe with a bustier or something similar underneath.

Thanks!

Is that what you feel most comfortable in? It might get a few looks, probably because people will be in uniform or black tie (which for women doesn't normally include a satin suit!) but wouldn't be too inappropriate imo. Not sure I'd wear a bustier underneath - I'd not be aiming to look like Jeff bezos wife at the inauguration!

Every event I've been to, the women have been in black tie dresses / their mess dress, men have been in black tie suits / their mess dress, I've never seen a woman in a suit that wasn't in mess dress but styled right I'm sure it could look fab.

Who has invited you? I would definitely check with them.

I'd like to think no one would kick you out, but be warned the dress rules for formal events in a mess usually requires a dress, I wanted to wear a jump suit one year and was told unequivocally no. But I appreciate a tuxedo is likely smarter than a jumpsuit, and this was before the world went trans mad which the military have also swallowed so they may well just let it pass these days anyway. (Although not saying allowing trousers would be a bad thing, insisting women wear dresses is draconian.

Boxing events don't tend to be terribly formal though, I wore a cocktail dress to the boxing event I went to (but it wasn't held in the mess, it was an all rank event).

So yes check with who has invited you and if it's in a mess, what those mess rules are, they will have formal guidelines for each dress code.

@festivemouse love the reference to Bezos wife, she definitely got that wrong 🤦🏼‍♀️

I just find long formal dresses so frumpy...
However, I do respect that the military has their dress codes.

My company has partnered with the organisation who are hosting the event, so I could ask.

@hjfoau the dress thing definitely feels draconian. And I can definitely carry off a dress after recently losing a ton a weight. Just find the long formal dresses a bit meh....

If there is are large numbers of unescorted civilians I suspect the dress code won't be as closely followed as it usually would. Do you know the venue?

Honestly I think if it's done in a classy way it could look so good! I'd probably stick to a satin / silk blouse underneath to avoid any similar issues to Bezos wife 😂 I would definitely check with the company, trousers for women aren't normally allowed outside of the mess dress suits if it's an official do - but I've never been to one that had companies invited / partnered with, so not too sure how formal this is?

Would you wear it with heels? That can really dress up the outfit! What about hair?

@hjfoau 27 Regiment RLC Aldershot

@Nooneknowsbutme sorry I meant is it in a sgt or officer mess?

@festivemouse I've got some lovely black Gucci kitten heel slingbacks, which are very dressy.. and would have hair down, below shoulders, usually styled in big waves?

@hjfoau just checked the invitation and it doesn't say?
Just 'St Omer Barracks'
Black tie / Mess dress with minatures?

That sounds lovely! 100% think that's the right angle to style it, especially the hair. Definitely double check on the trousers rules, it's normally dresses only for non-military women. But your idea sounds really lovely if they allow it!

@Nooneknowsbutme ok, could be either then or indeed not the mess at all. I suspect as it's open to civilians that it wouldn't be policed, it sounds plenty smart, it's probably more a case of ensuring you're comfortable if all the other women will be in a dress. Even the female officer dress tends to be a skirt.

I went to a function last year that changed its dress to a less formal code last minute so I wore a cocktail dress as knee length was fine, I was the only woman in knee length and I did feel a tad out of place!

@hjfoau that's my concern, don't want to stand out for the wrong reasons!

If you are there as a civilian, with a civilian partner it would be fine. The rules are more for serving members and partners.

As long as you don't wear trainers (unless on crutches!)

Going down a Google rabbit hole now, as I want to be respectful...

Royal Marines officer's wife here and it was always long dress/skirt at formal events in the mess in the evening.

I would say the safest bet is to stick with a dress. Military isn't exactly known for its forward thinking I'm afraid 😂

As has been said I don't think anyone would say anything if it's a mixed civilian event, but it's how comfortable you'd feel.

Thats for a specific RAF mess!

In army messes, it usually ends up being what the Colonels wife felt was acceptable.

@muddyford thanks!

@hjfoau hmmm I think you're right, unfortunately 🙄

I've worn a tux and trousers combo to a function with a dress code of mess kit.

I think for a boxing match, and if you make it look full on cocktail glam (heels, hair, accessories etc) then you'll be OK as long as you have the confidence to "carry" it

And from your posts, I'm not sure you are going to feel right in it. In which case a LBD is the safe choice (it doesn't have to be full length unless it's a ball; women's mess kit is full length so if you want to wear long you wont stand out)

Posted whilst I was typing, and I agree with this!

The Mess has moved with the times believe it or not, what you suggest to wear will be fine.

If you’re a civilian guest, ladies tuxedo will be fine. I wouldn’t wear a bustier or anything which shows too much cleavage underneath though. The dress is a usually little more modest than a civilian function.

You will be a guest of the mess so even if it is a little unsuitable, nobody should be rude enough to comment.

I’ve seen dress suits, female tuxedos and dressy jumpsuits worn to mess events. It really isn’t that regressive any more in most places. As long as it is smart, not excessively revealing and you can walk around in it, you’ll be fine. People expect civvies to go a bit off-piste anyway.