How to stop my face looking so old and, frankly, terrible

[AllTheChaos]

I know, I know, embrace one’s age etc, but I look ancient and I’m barely 50! My skin looks kind of grey, and patchy, with lots of redness and acne scarring, and flaky, plus all the fine lines. Makeup just sits in the lines / on the flakes and looks worse than without. With a small budget, and no desire / money for ‘’tweaks’, what can I do? I’ve tried The Ordinary serums, and niacinamide (which did help with the hormonal spots), but what else can I do? I get depressed every time I look in the mirror, and my DD is embarrassed to be seen out with me as I keep getting mistaken for her grandmother. Help!

Red and flaky could be seborrheic dermatitis. Have you seen your gp?

First of all, don't use the word terrible to describe yourself. Let's be more positive! One of the best things I did for my skin is a proper consultation with a skin care professional. I did mine with The Skin Nerd online. €50 for the consultation and they recommend products for you. They're always available for support if you have any questions. You go back every 12 weeks to tweak your routine and see how you're getting on. That's €25 but is redeemable against products. They can also stick within your budget if you give them a figure. I have emailed asking for other recommendations for cheaper products.
Once you get into a good routine, consistency is then key. It will take at least a month to see improvements. Lots of water, good food and plenty of sleep!

How is your diet, do you drink enough fluids, do you sleep well? Do you take a multi vitamin supplement?
Are you using moisturiser, spf?
You could ask advice from Dermatica or Skin and me - that involves a subscription monthly of approximately £25, or you could visit your GP and discuss it, blood test etc.

I would usually say find an exfoliator that works for you but if you are flakey and red I would say visit a dermatologist, if you can. It's not a budget option but if you have sensitive skin it could save you trying unnecessary products that may exacerbate your issues rather than help.

No but I do have this on my scalp, might it be affecting face too? Have to be v careful which shampoos I use or my scalp will just start splitting and scabbing

Absolutely diet, fresh air, exercise and good sleep. I know it’s not a quick fix but will honestly improve your skin no end.

@Bignanna my diet is good apart from too much sugar (which I am working on). I can’t eat much so try to make sure it all counts, ie is good quality nutrition. I drink lots of tea (so about 2L of water daily), take several vitamins plus a multivitamin daily, and use minimum SPF 20 whenever I go out. Sleep is, well I’ve heard of it but it’s not something I get to experience much of unfortunately! (Single parent, autistic child, health issues). Will check out your recommendations, thank you

@UpToonGirl its a good suggestion, just, money is tight. I may need to save so I can it next year x

Those are good suggestions, @SureLook, and I will check them out, thank you! Ahhh I know what you mean and I do try to think positively, then I catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror and think ‘WTF?!’!

Do you drink much alcohol? I did dry January and for the first time in my life post-12, I don’t have any spots!

Giving up exfoliating worked wonders for me recently. Also exercise, and tret. I saw a dermatologist on insta talking about the effect of weightlifting on skin. Can’t remember the science but supposed to be a positive anti aging link there.

Exercising - even fast walking can help give you more of a glow. Lots of water and healthy eating with little sugar and alcohol sadly!

Unfortunately exercise and sleep are not going to happen (Parkinson’s for the one, that and autistic child get in the way of the other), but I will keep trying to cut out the added sugar, and will try the other suggestions on here, thank you! Am so tired of feeling ashamed of how I look. I know we’re not supposed to admit to feeling that way, and no one I know in real life has any idea that’s how I feel, but I do. I don’t admit it because it feels
embarrassing to care about something so petty wjen there are so many things in the world to care about that actually matter, but I do care about how I look, even if that makes me shallow!

I am teetotal at least!

Teenagers are permanently embarrassed - please don't take it personally! 😉
Having said that, I would colour correct the redness with green tinted product and dye the greys if you don't already.

An LED mask will help with your skin tone, also glycolic or lactic acid.

I need to find a good box dye @FrankoferrisWheelieBin as last time I tried it looked very flat. I have more than 50% grey hairs now though so it definitely makes my skinner look even fuller and greyer.
Hah - I tell my adolescent that if I’m not embarrassing her then I’m not doing it right! But I don’t mind embarrassing them with what I do, eg how I dress, but when it’s how I look otherwise it does hurt, as it feels like it’s something I can’t help.

Ooh I have a glycolic peel someone gave me! Will give it a go!

Oh I’m so sorry to hear of your health issues and no it doesn’t seem shallow at all! I am the same, I have health issues and also on long term medication with lots of horrible effects on the body, but what really upset me, has been how it’s changed me physically and to look at.

I can’t alter that but I just figure to do the best I can and feed and nourish my body the best I can and I’m lucky that I can exercise and manage to get a good 7 hours a night. But you’re better than me, I’m not teetotal but just again try to limit it, such bloody fun all the time! 😄

Sounds like you have it tough OP, sorry to hear all that. It's not shallow at all to want to look nice, nothing wrong with that. I remember reading something online that said when you feel like shit and look in the mirror and look like shit it just makes everything worse! I think that's true. Try focus on what you can control rather than what you can't. If exercise and sleep are an issue then focus on eating and drinking well. Do nice little things for yourself. Light a candle, curl up with a good book, watch crap tv. Anything that gives you a little boost and don't feel guilty about it!

Try primark primer it is £4.50 I put it on after moisturiser and before phoera foundation which is about £9 from Amazon. Covers my roseacea and helps me look fresh

Ooh I will get some of those to try @coronafiona, that’s my kind of budget!

Drink absolutely hundreds of water daily. if can afford get olay night time firm n lift . use it. join "boots"product tester. you provide profile info- they nly send products aimed at you-usual need to send feedback.but ive had some brilliant products. use a tinted moisturiser instead of foundation..

I would also talk to your GP, make sure you are registered as a carer, and if they have Social Prescribers can they offer anything to help with your exercise and or sleep.