Turning 50 and making peace with how I've changed since I was 40

[hippospot]

I'm having a sort-out of my wardrobe and there are many many things that I've had for 10+ years but no longer wear.

Although I'm still slim (BMI 22) I need to accept (do I?) that I'm 2-3kg heavier than 10 years ago and that's ok. I'm not sure I could maintain that lower weight without being utterly miserable and hungry. It's as if my body's "set point" has shifted. Anyone else? It just seems harder and harder to stay the same weight and quite frankly I think I'd be better off accepting it than fighting it!

So there are clothes that are just a bit tight and no longer comfortable / flattering. But it seems such a shame to accept I'm a size bigger and have to replace things in a bigger size that are still in great condition.

Then there are my legs: covered in spider veins and psoriasis (which appeared 4 years ago), and so my summer wardrobe of knee-length dresses is gathering dust and I wonder if I should just charity shop the whole lot. Seeing them hanging there makes me sad! I bought loose trousers and maxi skirts and dresses last year and tried to reconcile myself to not showing my legs again in summer (except for sport / beach).

Anyone else had to rethink their wardrobe? Any tips?

@notacooldad I've spent the last two years and a small fortune trying to sort my skin, and sadly nothing has worked.

I exercise a lot and eat really well and despite this, the weight has gone on a bit, so I'm not sure how I could even lose it. To be honest I've gained muscle and my thighs for example are bigger than before but toned and strong.

I think I'm going to try and accept I'm bigger but focus on the positives: stronger, fitter, hopefully healthy too.

To put things in perspective, I've gone from a size 10 to a 12 in 10 years but I'm tall, over 5'8" so I doubt anyone has even noticed. My close family and DH have even said I look better at this weight. It's just me who is a bit disappointed to no longer be able to wear some of the clothes I love.

So I've put the things I can't currently wear in a bag-for-life (not that much!) out of my wardrobe so at least in the short term what's in the wardrobe actually fits. I'll decide at a later date if I should get rid of the things in the bag, rather than giving them to charity on an impulse.

I had my colours done professionally when I turned 40 which has helped a lot. It helped me in decisions around what to keep or not. I think it's fine to keep some things you really don't want to let go - it may be that it's a style you can update with something else etc. so having it serves as a reminder to replace it.

I've had scelerotherapy on my legs which is great for spider veins. Don't tend to get them out a lot anyway. In regards to weight gain it's not inevitable, I think it's usually because we lose muscle mass as we age and muscle is more metabolically active, so it's harder to lose 'weight' without going to too low calories than are comfortable. Short answer is strength training if not already doing it. It also cinches everything in.

Menopause really does screw you over, doesn't it?
I'm peri and whilst I've lost a ton of weight the last couple of years I still feel fat because I'm a different shape then I used to be (i was very hourglass and if I was this size but younger my waist would be 5ins smaller then it is now!).
I do lots of cardio, love running, weight train regularly and do pilates but that tiny waist isn't going to come back.

Also my legs are hideous due to huge, bulbous varicose veins everywhere. Thankfully tights seem to smooth them over somewhat and I do love a maxi in summer (although running in leggings in summer isn't the greatest).
I've never really bothered about if my style is ageing though. I prefer more retro/alt things and as they have never been super fashionable they don't really date you!

I'm the same weight I am now as I was at 18 (I'm 53)
It used to be very easy to maintain this but now it's not!
I've made the decision to keep fighting it, being very slim makes me feel good and I love clothes and having the freedom to wear what I want. I have a very small frame and am generally very petite, so even a few extra pounds makes a difference to me.

It's a very personal choice and although I eat well, it's a very restricted diet and I know that many of my friends have decided it's not worth it!
Maybe I'll eventually feel the same?

I'm a bit the same, but I've been ruthless and sold a load on Vinted - got my late teens to look at my wardrobe too.
Yoga has really helped with my body image, I stand better and I feel better so although I'm more 10-12 than 8-10 and with a huge c-section pouch I feel good for 51.
It's the internal health stuff that I am struggling with rather than the external tbh.

I think agonising over 2-3 Kilos is a bit extreme however I do believe that wardrobes need to be updated every now and again.
I recently got rid of the " I might wear sometime"s to a charity shop or sold on e bay. I use that money to buy something new if I so fancy.
I love having a wander around the shops every now and again to see what is current on the high street. I was especially happy to see the suede and hippy type blouses with denim from the 1970s making yet another resurgence! Take me back 😂

Oh and as your legs sell your dresses and buy new!

Some of you are talking about yourselves as if you had morphed into Bessie Bunter's elderly aunt overnight rather than a small weight gain and being a size 10 rather than a size 8.

You need to be kinder to yourselves.

Harvestmoon49, do you find, regardless of weight (fair play keeping your figure!), that your style has change? Or do you like the stuff in your wardrobe?

I have lots of nice things, no fast fashion. Hard to get well-made clothes nowadays. So my cardigans, dresses, coats, shoes are all still good. Sold my party dresses a few years ago…

@Gowlett I've always worn a lot of vintage, so the stuff I wear when I go out like mini dresses etc is now 40 + years old rather than 20 but still going strong!
Day to day I wear a lot of my adult dd's cast offs like dungarees and little shorts (always with thick tights my legs are not pretty anymore but look good if covered!) Love a band t-shirt or an old baggy vintage sweatshirt and flatly refuse to 'dress for my age'

@Gowlett and I agree re the quality of clothes - I also feel slightly overwhelmed when I go shopping and am never sure where I should shop (so generally avoid it!)