Help! Alternative black tie at almost 40…

[GoneTooFarAgain]

Help!!

Big event coming up, that’s ’black tie’ - I’ve never felt comfortable dressed up ‘fancy’ (I’m not a ‘girly’ girl (woman) if that makes sense - I mostly live in mum jeans and sweaters but with a hipster spin (so, blundstone boots, beanies, plain block colours etc). So I don’t look awful generally but I only know how to style super casual clothes!

What on earth can I wear so I feel confident / look like myself but am polished enough? What about my hair?? Def don’t want to go for a super glam dress as I’ll just feel ridiculous and probably behave like a weirdo all night if I feel uncomfortable… but I also want to impress these people as I won’t have seen them for years and fit in.

i know from experience going too casual can feel as awkward as going too fancy.

Please help me look stylish and cool and impressive (did I mention for not loads of money?)😅

Black Jumpsuit? You could add colourful/chunky accessories to brighten it up or add a brightly coloured jacket, and I'd put hair up but you could easily get away with it down too
Tie-waist jumpsuit, black, Vila | La Redoute

A simple floor length dress
Add a wrap to cover shoulders if bare
Simple necklace / jewellery
Doesn't have to be fancy at all just something your comfortable and feel good in
Can't go wrong with a black dress but any colour is good.
Maybe treat yourself to a blow dry or hair up if it's not something you can easily do
Enjoy x

My first thought was a jumpsuit too

Velvet, midnight blue.

My 'home' aesthetic sounds a lot like yours. I wear a fair amount of Nobody's Child, as they somehow have a down-to-earth feel about them. Also not expensive and very good ethics!

I don't know what you like/dislike yet, so am just throwing these out as illustrations. They all come in different colours.

A trouser suit's a perfectly acceptable black tie option. This is also Nobody's Child.

My most complimented dress is from Joanie Clothing. Thought you might enjoy this one? Or there's this, satiny (it's modal) but not looking too dressed up. And a few others that look like fun.

What sort of a 'do' is it? Evening, dinner, or all day, more casual? Because a proper black tie do is actually quite posh and none of the links so far would be at all suitable. Could you give more details of what the 'do' actually is.

Black velvet suit. Pointy flats. Punky jewellery. Hair slicked back punky earrings.
Be you.

I still like this drapey number from Plumo, though I don't think anyone else here does!

Less drapey but in a similar-ish vein, Next has this with a Kew Gardens print.

Final effort (S&B heaves a sigh of relief) - another Kew print at Next. I love the print placement, but the dress is ruched to hug the body which you might not like?

wide black slouchy dress pants and a waistcoat.

Agree, it's the obvious solution 🙂 You'd never get me in pointy flats, mind! (I have some posh boots with block heels)

I find black tie means very different things depending on the occasion - so black tie industry award, most people are in glammed up versions of work gear, black tie wedding (subject to the bride and groom) actually usually more cocktail dress, black tie as in really black tie with some military, govt or fund raising connection then full length. So first off, what's the occasion?

And if you're not a dress person, then actually for any of them, my first choice would be a suit, black or very midnight blue for the poshest ones, going down to as bright a colour as you like for the rest. If I was wanting something more comfortable I'd go for a co-ordinate - something like this https://www.meandem.com/silk-blend-velvet-relaxed-tapered-pant-co-ord-deep-merlot

Ah - so, it’s a reunion dinner… kind of imagine a sports club but in a very historic location (with pomp and circumstance).

so not as glam as awards, probably could get away with slightly more casual ie there will likely be a variety of styles, not all floor length satin. I think cocktail dresses would be okay having been to similar occasions at the same place.

im liking the suit and jumpsuit recommendations - also great idea to get my hair done as that’s always part of what causes me issues as I can never make it look nice!

NRBY Velvet suits

Just popping back to say thank you! Had the event, I went with black satiny wide legged trousers and waistcoat top, and got lots of compliments (and felt nice).

I also got my hair done that morning which was an AMAZING suggestion - thank you @mumzof4x - totally transformed how I felt about myself for the whole day. Will definitely be getting my hair done every time I have a thing and need to look good from now on!