How do you "find your style"?

[thismotherhoodthing]

Has anyone successfully "found their style" after having a baby?

If so how did you do it please? I follow many fashion bloggers but I just can't seem to find a style that suits me and that I also like. I also (like most of us) don't have endless money to spend on clothes! I have a few nice things that I like and that I think suit me but I struggle with putting vaguely stylish outfits together these days especially considering I don't go anywhere that fancy!

Doesn't help that I am also 8 weeks pregnant with my second so I have all of that ahead of me but I'm hoping to be able to put a few nice outfits together thing time around that I feel good in.

I don't think I dress frumpy, old-fashioned or scruffy by any means but I just don't really feel like I have a "style" anymore , or know where to shop, whereas I did before having a child. Whenever I buy things online they end up getting sent back and it all feels a bit exhausting. Lockdowns, pregnancy, post-partum and working from home all happened and then I felt like the world had moved on without me and I don't really how to dress.

A few thing I am considering:

John Lewis personalised shopper service. I've heard this is good and free?

Colour analysis. I've always wanted this done and wonder if it will help guide me a bit when choosing clothes as it can feel overwhelming!

Any helpful advice or tips!?

I've found this youtube channel really helpful https://www.youtube.com/@UseLess_dk/videos

She is based in Denmark and advocates so-called slow fashion, where you make fewer but more considered purchases. She's built up a library of videos about how to find out what your personal style is, what your colours are and create a capsule wardrobe to match.

By find your style do you mean find a specific look / tribe? Obvious examples being "the Toasties" in the Toast appreciation threads or the " looks glossy" stuff-or do you mean clothes you enjoy wearing?

I've never used a personal stylist but John. Lewis one gets much mentioned on here.

I wouldn't touch colour analysis with several bargepoles. I don't think it does anything beyond limiting choices and narrowing opportunities for wearing clothes you'd otherwise like-. It leads to the
"that's beautiful but I'm a cool, soft autumn and only warm, hard springs can wear that" syndrome

I just buy what I like, you can't discover your style by watching others.

Once you know your style that can help find products.

I found my style by tuning out other influences.

I’ve had the same simple, classic style since I was a teenager and used to get a lot of “lamb dressed as mutton” comments so would try to branch out into something more interesting.

A few years ago threw out all the interesting clothes and only kept the clothes I’d buy if I didn’t care what other people thought.

It’s incredibly freeing not to give a shit about anyone else’s opinions. I guess my advice is just to shop and buy what you are drawn to without worrying about what image you’re projecting.

I was 44 years old when I learnt this and wish someone had told me when I was 14!

I agree with your comment on colour analysis to an extent, as in I don't think you should trust someone else to do this for you. I think it's possible to do your own colour analysis, as in figure out what colours/ colour schemes you feel most comfortable with, what makes you happy or grounded when you wear it for example and then come up with a personal colour palette that you always work from when buying anything new. This way everything in your wardrobe works together and you don't have to think twice about what to wear in the morning. It was a bit of a process to get here, but now I am finally happy with the system I've worked out for myself and it's a real pleasure getting dressed, rather than a chore and a stressful experience first thing of the day. Each to their own of course, just something that has worked really well for me and I know many others who swear by it too

Thanks for all the replies.

@IHaveAlwaysLivedintheCastle I don't so much mean a certain look/tribe. I'm not sure how to articulate what I mean, really. I look in my wardrobe and it all feels a bit random and not put together. I'm fairly indecisive in life so it's probably in line with my personality 😂

I think I used to have a certain look/consistent style when I was in my 20s. I'm 36 now and somewhere along the way I grew out of that style and didn't really find a consistent way of dressing that I like and also suits me. I don't think it helps that a lot of what's in the shops/in fashion just doesn't suit me so I'm never sure where to shop anymore that's within budget. I like the oversized look but a lot of it swamps me and I don't look right, also a lot of the muted tones/neutrals or dark duller colours which are in most shops like black/navy/dark brown just don't suit me and wash me out.

I find summer a lot easier but I struggle so much with winter and transitional dressing.

I had my colours done as a present and found it amazing. The lady showed me colours that suited me, ideas on making outfits from clothes i had bought along, I was advised on styles. I went on a trip to the shops with her and she did a make up session with me. Rather than finding it restricting the information is useful as I know which colours suit me. That was a good few years ago and nowadays I do not buy anything that does not suit me. I don't spend a lot on clothes as I love going to charity shops nd people often tell me they like my clothes.

I have a large bust so many fashions don't suit me so I've always had to find clothes that work for my shape. So I think the first thing too do is figure out what your shape is, e.g apple, pear, hourglass etc. I also had my colours done which was invaluable. I'm pale with light blue eyes, I used to wear black all the time, and wondered why I always looked ill! I've now got a wardrobe of colours that I know suit me and all go together. There are lots of ways of doing that online now, but I did find seeing a colour consultant so helpful.

this is also a good website you might find interesting.

https://www.truth-is-beauty.com/

I dither about buying clothes but the colour analysis has been useful because I have no real eye for colour myself. I thought I could never wear red, but my palette has several reds that make me look great - cooler ones and now I recognise them.

You can wear any colour, obviously, but some tones of blue or yellow or whatever will be much more striking than others on one’s own skin tone and I found that useful. I’m not wedded to it, so I do wear black when French blue would actually look better and I wear olive green when a forest green would do better but it’s a good base guide for me when shopping because I’m a dunce with no intuition on colour.

I’ve just let my lifestyle influence my style.

I’m sporty / outdoorsy so wear a lot of brands like Finisterre, Passenger, Sweaty Betty, Acai etc .

So not fashionista, London Fashion week style but I think I look put together (in a casual way) and most importantly I am comfortable & feel confident.

I do have an acquaintance who likes to make a point of asking if I’m on my way back from the gym even when I’m not (she’s very high-fashion and also a bit of a plonker)

I gave up trying to hard. I went through a phase of trying to find a style and played around with various clothes that just didn’t suit my lifestyle like boots and dresses. I walk a lot so I have accepted I basically need to live in trainers.

I feel like I look much better since I stopped trying too hard and let my style find me!

Don’t hate me but I’ve actually been using ChatGPT loads lately to try and work out my style, but also why some things that should work on me don’t. I’ve found it so helpful in understanding what actually works for me - I’ve worked out through lots of trial and error that the most important part of an outfit for me is structure and proportion. It’s why the soft blouses that should suit me in theory just don’t! And why my jeans just weren’t quite right- fit was good, colour was good but the length and the width of the hem was just off. Tried a slightly different style Jean which on paper looked very similar but in practice was loads better! But it’s taken a while and loads and loads of try-one to get to where I am. Now I’ll gradually replace items in my wardrobe with ones that are just right for me rather than settling for ‘this will do so I’ll buy it in a few colours’. If you don’t like ChatGPT you could just try loads of things on, take mirror selfies and then come back to them with fresh eyes and try and work out what works and what doesn’t.

I also suggest start with shapes and colours you really like.

so for example I tried a pair of wide leg trousers, and realised I loved them and they suited me, I also started working out what went with them, close fitting tops. A nice belt, a pair of loafers, or smart leather trainers, and I bought different kinds and colours that mix and match,

I also found I really like midi dresses, particularly once’s with a wide skirt, and a close fitting bodice, so I got some of them,

I really like sleeveless tank tops,so have a few in different colours and Materials. Silk, cashmere, and jersey,

in winter I like slouchy over sized jumpers, they look great with wide leg jeans and trousers, cashmere or soft wool.

look At the brands you like. Then look on vinted or in their sales. I dress very well for a fraction of the new price.

Edited as old thread

ChatGPT can be really good at helping you revise your style, @Whentostarthrt.

I don’t often find I need advice on my clothing choices - but it’s sometimes nice to think aloud and get a well informed response. Hilariously ‘my’ ChatGPT is occasionally a little affronted when I show it something I’m considering - because it judges the garment to be outside the system it imagines I’m shopping within. So then I have to show it other things in my wardrobe it wasn’t previously aware of - that I’m planning to wear with the proposed new thing. Oh! it says. This changes everything. Now I see …

😅

Haha yes I tend to use it for thinking aloud and also so I don’t annoy friends/family with a million ‘do you like this’ questions. It can get a bit stuck in a loop sometimes and shows pictures that don’t match the description- but is always very sorry 🤣 Useful for helping identify exactly why something does or doesn’t work though - I’ve found quite often it’s not actually the part I was focusing on that wasn’t quite right for me! Have had some jeans shortened on its recommendation and it’s made a world of difference to how they look on me.