What to buy to look vaguely civilised/up to date

[Bristolnewcomer]

I need help! I’ve had a tough couple of years including bereavement and having my first child. As a result I haven’t been shopping since the midi dress and trainers era RIP and all my clothes are now basically supermarket jeans and cheap oversized T-shirts and I look, quite frankly, crap and a bit depressed. Back at work now and have a small budget to get some new clothes and I have a personal shopper session booked (gift) at JL, but I have no clue what I need to get myself looking even vaguely up to date or nice.

Specifically:

• what are people wearing out for coffee/lunch?
• What looks nice for work (sometimes have meetings with very cool people)
• what tops and top layers over jeans?
• what shoes would say I realise it’s the mid 2020s?

I’m a 14 5’6 and look a lot better in tailored shapes like blazers than big woolly things

Wide legged trousers with shortish tops. I have some lovely chunky cardigans from whistles that I always get asked about.

Also there used to be a Facebook group called Can I breastfeed in it? Was awesome for suggestions of clothes - lots of different styles. Might be worth seeing if it still exists.

Thank you both @IHaveAlwaysLivedintheCastle and @MeandEmLover

It's on the way already so super-excited.

Personally, I don't think chunky knitwear looks smart at all, more casual. Tthinner layers (base layer, shirt, and more fitted thinner knit cardigan) look better. Unless you are trying to look bigger, of course. Also, you can take one off if you need to. You're stuck with a chunky jumper, very sweaty. 😢

IMO this is the best advice on the thread. It's all well and good naming higher end brands, but with a 'small budget' (definition of this will vary from person to person), you're going to need to buy quite a few basics to start from scratch and it'll quickly be eaten up.

• what are people wearing out for coffee/lunch?

I would probably wear a pair of wide-legged trousers, top or jumper in a tonal colour (make sure it's tucked or hits at the waist), leather belt with gold buckle, gold huggie earrings, and trainers. I've recently overhauled my style and I think neutrals are the secret to looking put together. If you have a black version, a grey version, a cream version and a beige/brown version of this outfit it'll cover a lot of situations. I try not to wear too much colour as I find it harder to look chic.

• What looks nice for work (sometimes have meetings with very cool people)

Above outfit would cover this in my line of work. Personally if meeting with very cool people I'd stick to something simple and understated, I don't have a strong personal sense of style and would be more likely to go wrong if I tried to compete.

• what tops and top layers over jeans?

I don't really wear jeans, I haven't got to grips with the wide legs and I struggle with footwear because it's too wet to wear trainers here a lot of the time. If I'm going casual I'll usually wear leggings (with an oversized shirt and crew socks).

• what shoes would say I realise it’s the mid 2020s?

Someone above covered this well. Chunky ankle boots (usually coming higher up the calf than pre-2020), pointed toe boots for evening or under wide-leg trousers, or retro trainers. I've been reluctant to buy Adidas as I feel like they've been around for ages and must be on the way out, but they seem to keep persisting. I prefer Nike Dunk Lows personally. Loafers are also around, but I think they're tricky to do well if you've lost your confidence.

I'd look on Arket, & Other Stores, Cos, Sezane for inspiration, and buy some bits from H&M, M&S and Uniqlo. My advice would be not to buy lots straight away, as you might find it doesn't work for your lifestyle/you don't enjoy wearing it. Start small. Youtubers/Instagrammers can be good for advice and inspiration too.- I'd advise not to shy away from oversized pieces. It's hard to move away from the 'flattering' shape of tailored clothes, but wearing all fitted clothes is one way to look pretty dated. I still wear skinny jeans, or a more fitted mini dress but I'll balance them with chunky boots and an oversized jumper/blazer.

I don't wear many neutrals in the beige taupe olive family. As a brown person, they look drab on me. Black doesnt look great on me either and makes me feel sad. I know colour isn't chic apparently, but I like dopamine dressing.

This is why style advice is so individual.

I know you have your JL appointment but I just wanted to recommend Uniqlo for trousers, as a fellow size 14. They are often forgiving on a variety of shapes and can be great staples for a good price point.

Thanks for this tip - admittedly I have only glanced at the trousers in Uniqlo but thought the all looked small - do you mind me asking what size you buy as they are all M,L, XL etc

Yes, I have to get XL. But I've wide hips. L would be okay for me for the waist size. They do give precise measurements of the garments for every size on their website.

I am a 14 and 5’10 and buy large in Uniqlo trousers if that helps.

I love the look of Uniqlo stuff but nothing ever suits or fits me very well - I don’t think they’re cut for fat curvy shortarses.

I think there's some great advice on this thread. Can I add a shout-out for La Redoute? I've shopped there for years on and off and they have such a big range that generally there's always something good on sale, and they do a lot of discount codes. I've just bought a lovely toffee cashmere cardigan from there, and a striped v-neck cardigan. I also have a chunky pointelle cardigan from there that gets a lot of wear as it looks more expensive than it is. Ooh and I also had a nice faded black quilted bomber-type jacket from there recently, although generally I don't bother with non-hooded coats. I'd wear any of those for coffee/lunch - I don't tend to wear dresses much in the winter now apart from a very old Hush needlecord drop-waist shirt dress that is one of the most useful items I own. It's a dark petrol green and I can wear it for everything from funerals to Christmas parties.

I'm still wearing jeans at the mo (all high-waisted, either wide-leg, straight or barrel) but I'm also very partial to an elasticated corduroy at the moment - my favourites are the Billie, from Lucy and Yak. I have two pairs of the plain black and they've had a lot of wear this winter. The dark green are nice too.

I find summer dressing much easier - I love shorts, sundresses and sandals, and last year I wore a lot of oversized linen shirts during the nice weather.

My work wear has got a lot less formal over the years and now it's often the aforementioned cords (or wide-legged black trousers with a leather belt) with a plain crew tee and a cardigan, worn with small gold earrings and generally, (the horror) black or cream suede trainers. I just can't summon up the energy to a) wear heels, or even anything smarter on my feet, or b) give a shit whether that means I've "given up" 😀

Other random things I get a lot of wear from in the winter - Hush slogan sweatshirt, greige cashmere roll-neck, black plaited leather belt with gold hardware, very boxy long-sleeved Breton, plain boxy crew tees in black and white (Anyday at JL) to go under cardies, tan Dr Marten Chelsea boots, charcoal grey sac banane (essentially a bumbag) from Custine, a lovely black leather bag with shoulder strap and cross-body strap that's actually large enough to fit stuff in hence you actually use it (I think it's from AND/OR). I get a lot of stuff nowadays on Vinted but you have to kiss some frogs to get a prince, I find.

I have got a lot of my clothes from Vinted and eBay and charity shops .I am amazed at the price of coats for example in shops and I reckon most of mine are from charity shops and I am often asked where I got my coats.

I got a lovely vintage belted cashmere and wool overcoat from a local Sue Ryder for £25 - it's my pride and joy, as I'm not usually that lucky with charity shops 😍 it's so well made though, so warm, and delightfully 80s

All my good wool coats are from charity shops as it's almost impossible to get pure wool at a reasonable price in the high street. They are all 100% wool.

I love this thread

@Belmondo I’m with you on La Redoute, particularly when it comes to jumpers, coats and boots. I’ve recently bought a couple of gorgeous cashmere jumpers for a bargain price and they look much more expensive than they were. One of my favourite coats (full length, military style) is from there, over a decade old and still looks great.

I think it's underrated, @BangingOn! They used to do great cup-size bikinis too. My only complaint is that delivery and returns can be slow.

Completely agree about delivery and returns. It’s usually worth waiting for but a pain when it’s not.

what on earth is this weather
and how do you know whether the weather you are experiencing is the same elsewhere in the UK?
It's raining today with me, for example, but much of the month has been fairly dry and not particularly code = ideal trainer weather, particularly when many people primarily do things inside in January.