Cosmetic ‘tweakments’

[Talesfromtheriverbank]

If you have Botox or fillers , do you tell people?

I have had Botox a couple of times and am considering a little bit of cheek filler. I don’t think I can tell anyone. Don’t know why. I’m not embarrassed really but it just seems a bit indulgent? I haven’t even told DH! Not that he’d mind.

So do you tell people or not?

Just because nobody points it out, it doesn’t mean they haven’t noticed you have had things done.

Telling someone they look 'well rested' is code for 'I see you've had some work done'.

Same as 'you look well' means 'you've put on weight.'

Cosmetic procedures destroy micro expressions making you look a bit uncanny valley, even if it isn't obvious people can tell something is 'off'.

It's just another way to part women from their money. At least most of those making money seem to be other women, though I have my suspicions about who is making the real cash at the top.

Nobody has ever asked if I've had anything done, but I wouldn't lie if they did. When I told a couple of close friends I'd had Botox they were genuinely very surprised and said they couldn't tell (I believe them; they're not the types to flatter me by lying).

I've only had very small amounts though, just enough to look less knackered rather than freezing my face. I've always asked to be left with a lot of movement, which means you don't get that shiny and rigid look.

Botox threads on here are always weird though. You seem to get a lot of people insisting you can ALWAYS tell, but also a lot of people insisting that some prominent people in the public eye haven't had treatment, when they clearly have (Kate Middleton being the main one). Both of those things can't be true. But then all Botox treatments aren't the same. It's very important - in my view- to go to someone very reputable (which usually means more expensive) and start with a very small amount. You can always top up, but if you start off frozen it's going to take a fair few weeks or even months to wear off.

i have noticed and not said

You can ALWAYS tell with lip filler because of the slight ' lip' on top of the upper lip

Yes I do think this is true, I would never pass comment on a persons appearance in this way but I do obviously notice when someone has had stuff done at times.

I do also think people go blind to it if they do it for a living or have it done over a number of years. A nurse I know if a highly sought after injector and now has her own business, she used to look normal and good for her age, now she looks slightly odd and puppet like as her face as aged around the filler she has had over the years.

I do think it likely gets to the point where people prefer the filler look, even it is obvious and unnatural to the alternative which is old and saggy.

I suppose its like one of those do I look my age threads where either side of the argument insists no one knows they had work done or how old they are, and others who say you can always tell or that no one ever looks younger!

I’ve told a couple of people, but it would be weird to go about telling people. It’s hardly a top news story. If anyone asked, which they never have, I would tell them.

The idea that you ‘can always tell’ is just bollocks.

I don’t know why these threads bring out such aggressive replies; filler/Botox isn’t compulsory. If it’s not for you, it’s not for you. No one is forcing the needle into your face.

This is such a hilarious cognitive bias. The ones which are obvious are obvious. The ones which are not are the ones you think don’t exist.

I have virtually no wrinkles in my mid-50s but am aged ten years by my hollow dark under eyes. I’d love it if there was a good solution but undereye fillers are just too risky.

Expense is also a factor as I’d never consider anything like that or even Botox from anyone other than a cosmetic surgeon expert in the procedure.

I do sometimes wonder a bit about what people choose to spend their money on in the U.K. I’m from elsewhere in the world and there people in mid age and even younger invest in their health more than beauty - or perhaps they treat one as leading to the other.

For example, my aunts used to spend on good foods and exercise equipment, on private doctors for advice and immunisations ( eg shingles, pneumonia etc) not available under the national health programme, on spa visits, retreats etc.

With respect, I think in many cases people do know but it would be extremely rude to ask or comment about botox or fillers! I've said it before but you can't beat facial yoga, it's genius but you have to work at it regularly.

Can't say I've noticed people saying this.

What are 'Russian lips'?

Yes. I first had botox in my 11s 20 odd years ago when not many people did, so it was a topic of much discussion and excitement amongst my friendship group, with several of us thinking we wanted it but were too nervous. When I went first I had to give a detailed account of what it felt like, and have my forehead examined on a daily basis until it 'took'. Tbh I've no interest in concealing anything I do to my appearance from other women so when I get a compliment I will always fess up if its due to some fakery, even to strangers.

It was definitely worth it as it isn’t so obvious it would whack you in the face but people around me know I look better they just can’t put their finger on why! If you see what I mean.

I had a very slim top lip and quite a long philtrum so this has balanced me out a lot more and I think I look far less tense around the jaw area.

I agree. I'd never say to someone "have you had X done?" even if they were a close friend. I wouldn't want to offend them by pointing it out - not because I think there's anything wrong with having it done, but because it would obviously indicate that it's noticeable, which is presumably the opposite of what they want.

My SIL had botox for years before she told me or I noticed. I'm very into skincare so I do notice the quality of people's skin. She also had a lip flip, which I did notice. She has since had fillers and it's slightly more obvious. Her husband hasn't noticed anything. The money would annoy him. Not a clue.

I’m happy to tell people about my Botox and fillers. I’m also open about the fact that I had a lower facelift and blepharoplasty fifteen years ago. I couldn’t care less what other people think.

But can you remember at attin?

Absolutely not true, with a good practitioner. I've had botox, filler and PDO threads and no-one suspects a thing - I'm just told I look great (with the usual cop-out of 'for my age). I'm 53, could easily pass for 45.

I tell people but only if they ask. Conversely, I've an acquaintance who's in her mid 40's, doesn't look a day over 30 and she's always telling people that she's not had any work. If you know their age or they've had excessive amounts of filler etc, then it's obvious, but otherwise no.

At 42, I started baby botox. I told my close friends and family. Not been brave enough to tell my Mum though. I don't have it often but I do feel better for it.

I don't fancy fillers though, I've always been fat with decent lips so never really needed them. Maybe I'll change my mind if I end up losing the next 3st and it makes my face look horrendous.

The thing is its really impossible to tell how perceptible any treatments are to others or what people really think. Most people will want to be nice and say something nice or say nothing, very few people will come out and say oh I see you've been on the botox or had filler or whatever.

Then there is your own perception, and I'm not convinced we really see ourselves objectively. If I had a pound for every women who or man who told me they looked 10 years younger than their age and had no wrinkles or lines when I could plainly see they did look their age and that they did have wrinkles I'd have a lot of pounds! I am sure I am guilty of this myself, not that I'd ever make any claims but I am probably guilty of deluding myself, we all are.

Even with many celebrities who probably have the best work possible you can still they they have stuff done for example Nigella Lawson who is incredible looking but her face is quite different now to how it was when she was younger, her cheeks are much fuller and her face shape is altered, same with Rachel Weisz.

In the end all you can do is do what you want and if you enjoy the result and it makes you feel confident then great but its also quite possible that others will be able to tell if you do work even if you think it looks natural.

Of course still photos look good, if the work is subtle and well done. Same with looking at your still face in a mirror. But people who think it isn't obvious should see what they look like talking and laughing in a mirror, or get someone to film them doing such. Also, it is cumulative.

If no one noticed your lip fillers, then they weren't changed? My money is on no one dared to mention it because it looked so obvious. They're ALWAYS obvious