How did you find your style?

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I never have, so would love know how other people found theirs. I love secondhand cashmere knitwear. Beyond that, I seem to have very little idea of what I actually enjoy wearing.
I have also changed jobs from a workplace with a fairly strict dress code, to a very casual one. I’m tired of jeans and black trousers, My age and income would probably suggest Seasalt and M and S. But I’m not really a fan of either.

So what are you a fan of?
~ When you see someone and think "she looks great!" - what does she look like? What caught your eye?
~ Can you pick out any role models? Doesn't matter about their age, size, or whether you perceive any common traits. People here might be able to see some.
~ Not giving a shit is also a 'style'.
~ Second-hand cashmere: what kinds of things are you wearing, and what is it that you love about them?

In answer to your title, my style has changed here and there but there are consistent factors: I dislike 'extras' and girly-girl stuff, but sometimes choose a pared-down version of same; I prefer natural fibres but don't make a religion of it; I love clever cutting even if no-one else can see what I see; half my wardrobe's black but I also enjoy colours. I like my clothing to have movement.

I'm a repressed fashionista but personal style's a different thing from fashion! You definitely have a style. Maybe it's a matter of sketching it out so you can feel more confident about it.

I don’t have any role models, but I do notice people in the street whose clothing I like. My own favourite clothes are currently a merino wool oversize cream Zara jumper, some wide legged dark blue trousers and I also own some Fly ankle boots that I wear constantly. I have a collection of secondhand jackets ranging from brown corduroy to a purple tweed. My best loved oldest garment is an h and m pink shirt that has a large floral pattern on it. I don’t really wear skirts, but I do sometimes wear dresses.

Hmm. So far, this sounds soft, comfortable & comforting, 'heirloom', understated?

Makes me wonder if you like Poetry style. Or what do you think of Toast, Cabbages & Roses, Margaret Howell? Can you pick out anything you love here, or am I way off track?

Oh, yes! That’s about right- I love the Poetry things. Maybe not Margaret Howell so much. I’m tall and dark haired and look like a workhouse orphan if things are too plain and simple. Cabbages and Roses is a perhaps bit too whimsical, although some of the shirts are lovely. Understated and comfortable are definitely correct.

The Toast knitwear is just my style too!

Oh, you're a satisfying correspondent 🤗 How's your budget? If Poetry & Toast are within reach, you're all set. Otherwise, it's worth looking at Uniqlo and La Redoute, among others.

I've been buying a lot from La Redoute lately, thanks to their permanent sales and coupon codes. You can filter by fibre. It's worth mentioning that they're French, so don't style their outfits the way I'd wear them, and they don't lie about their sizes! (I get their jumpers one size up, except where they're described as oversized.) Most trousers have a 31" leg, which is quite a relief for those of us over 5ft 6ins.

There's usually a thread on this board about Dark Academia; I think those posters would have some great ideas for you. And congrats on the new job!

For me it's about dressing for my shape and my colouring. I'm an Apple with big boobs, so a lot of styles simply dont suit me. I also had my colours done many years ago, which was so worth it. I suit warm colours, so black, grey, navy, pink, purple etc are all out for me. I'm pretty confident now in knowing what works for me, and I stick to that. I love clothes and colour and even if I'm not 'fashionable' as such, I'm pretty stylish, even though I do say so myself!😁

Thanks so much @Garlicwest . I’m 5ft 7ish, so longish trousers are good. My budget is generally more La Redoute and Uniqlo. Uniqlo I know already, but I need to go and try things on without dd with me- otherwise it always turns into a shopping trip for her! I’ll investigate La Redoute and Dark Academia. It’s exciting to think I might actually have a style. 😊

I learned that my own is an extension of what I like in my home - mid century modern.

I was literally thinking about that last night @dudsville - I’m mostly all practical, budget and IKEA. But with some pretty antique flower prints, mirrors and secondhand Laura Ashley curtains. My dress sense seems to be similar.

I think Zara and Mango maybe tk maxx too.
Style inspo Italian and Spanish, I am neither but my social media impression is that they wear practical good quality and classic with a touch of floral romanticism.

I do wonder if we overthink this sometimes but I'll try. At the moment I like to wear jeans/cords/combats or sometimes tailored trousers or a straight-ish ankle length skirt with a loose fitting knitted tank top and a tailored jacket/blazer (fitted or oversize, I'm not wedded to either).
A lot of my jackets are vintage: 1940s-1980s.
I particularly like tweed, fair Isle, linen and silk.
I rarely wear dresses and only wear flats.
I like a tweed overcoat (cut to allow for a jacket underneath) or a trench coat.
As accessories I like a vintage brooch and a men's paisley silk scarf.

I buy mostly second hand / vintage. If I'm buying new I tend to look first at Toast and Cos but two of my four new purchases this year were M&S and I'm not loyal to any brand.

That's what I like at the moment but it's changed before and I'm sure it'll change again.

I mainly get inspiration by always watching what people are wearing. I also watch a lot of old movies so I'm sure they influence me too. I stayed away from Instagram for years but I've started using it so I can follow other vintage enthusiasts and costume historians.

Maybe start with deciding your favourite colours to wear and then think about what silhouettes work well for you?

I had a big wardrobe change up last year and changed my style radically. It involved trying a lot of things on and getting rid of anything that was "fine", only keeping things that made me feel great.

It has massively boosted my confidence as I now love all my clothes, it's easy to choose outfits and I always love what I'm wearing. There are loads of YouTube videos to watch if you have the time, but aim for ones about personal style rather than fashion trends.

Allison Bornstein's three words to define your style is quite fun to do.

I’ve always been interested in fashion, but found it hard to start nailing my own style. I have been helped by the Kibbe system, which is a way of looking at your shape and the way your bone structure and ‘flesh’ are, on a yin-yang scale. I find this so much more useful than simple apple/pear shape guidelines, because it takes into account your overall appearance and helps with fabric and accessory choices, hair and makeup styles etc. I don’t follow it religiously but it’s incredibly useful for shopping. Have a look at Pinterest for more info.

its explained a lot about ‘classic’ items that I just couldn’t get to work for me.

Also, I had a virtual colour assessment and that’s been very useful too. I used to live in white t-shirts, and they don’t look bad on me, but ivory is much better.

I get second hand Uniqlo cashmere from EBay though it’s getting harder to find at a good price.

Don’t discount M&S or Seasalt - it’s a question of wading through the ocean of dubious things and finding what works for you. I get loads from the EBay Seasalt outlet (they accept returns) and I always get compliments on my dresses. People often think they are Toast. I have quite a lot of sale/second hand Toast as well, their simpler styles.

I love things on others - especially very gamine and androgynous styles - that simply don’t work for me, so I just enjoy seeing others looking good in that style.

I think a lot of women kill their ‘look’ with the wrong colour hair, the wrong colour specs, and the idea that black accessories go with everything. Even if you can’t be bothered with colour analysis, these things are worth considering.

Have always been interested in clothing and personal style, and worked in and around the fashion industry for years. However, although slim, I had an hourglass/Playboy bunny figure which while great for lingerie does not really translate well to clothing, particularly high fashion and many trends, sadly. Many items, necklines and cuts were out of bounds because they made me look a bit tarty. (Additionally, I also hated men talking to my breasts, so they stayed covered up). Although well-dressed, I wasn't really dressing how I wanted to. Which takes me to your question: how did I find my style.

Truthfully? Premature menopause AND breast cancer/chemotherapy. Both caused me to have to totally rethink what not only my clothing choices but my personal style too. The silver lining of breast cancer was choosing not to have implants or a reconstruction and going totally flat. Have been reborn a chic uber flat-chested Parisienne. Chemo bought hair loss and shit eyesight, so now wear glasses and a head scarf, the latter even though my hair is regrowing. My hair has also regrown more white/salt & pepper than the nondescript brown it was before. Once my hair has fully regrown, will put more silver and white through it, and plan to continue wearing a head scarf (on occasion), glasses too, and have started to collect sunglasses and optical frames. I sold the majority of my wardrobe and have started buying a new one with the proceeds. Pre-cancer, I always had compliments on how I dressed but post-cancer, they've sky rocketed mostly due to now having a truly defined style and 'look'.

I don't really know my style, I know what I like, but will sometimes see someone in a different outfit and think, I love that, buy it and it doesn't suit me, I tend to follow trends only if they suit me, I think my problem is for years from 20s to when I retired I had a store uniform so I didn't have to think what to wear, now I'm retired I struggle.

My style definitely changed i was heavily into boho, free people and charity shop vintage then emo goth Victoriana then back to boho..after Covid my body and lifestyle and values have changed that I'm now about comfort, quality and practicality. For years i 'fought' against my lifestyle that required more practical clothes .. i don't think it brough me joy I think I dressed up to project an image of being feminine and soft but my clothes often held me back from joining in and moving freely. I also felt I had to match the personality I was projecting eg hippy when I was getting increasingly more middle-right in my views. I felt like a fraud or sent a confused message as people would be shocked to later realise my life and personality weren't like how I dressed up and when this happens although amusing to be surprising to others, you just end up attracting the wrong people if your clothes don't reflect your personality or interests. I didn't like emo or metal music i just loved black lace and velvet but people immediately assumed I'd know this band and that. So I think it's important to consider your personality and lifestyle. I might like the aesthetic of something but it doesn't mean it will work on/for me and be aware of what message your appearance is sending about your values and ethics, music taste, political leanings....

Thanks all! So interesting to hear about your style journeys and so much to think about. I have more time than I used to to give some thought to it all.
My different groups of friends either don’t give a toss about style or are incredibly well turned out and put together. I don’t have a peer group for reference.

@doublec chic Parisienne sounds utterly delectable but not right for my lifestyle, which is more countryside/gym/academic. I do like Seasalt trousers. Their dresses look mostly awful on me- I suit shirt dresses with a collar.
I was out for lunch today and put in a lot more effort than usual deciding what to wear and it did make me feel very confident!

As I'm sure others have said:

• first, and foremost, I quite like fashion & style. So I have always been interested into silhouettes, outfits etc...
• I generally observe the silhouettes that I like and decompose them into items.
• I then assess what I like against my lifestyle. For example, I love wide leg trousers with high heel ankle boots. But its not compatible at all with my lifestyle (which involved walking a lot, in some questionnable muddy terrains)
• I search for some ideas on Pinterest. i literally created a board which is called "dog walking" because I didn't want to lose "my style" whilst walking my dog in the park. A bit ridiculous but, well, thats life.

My personal style, I would describe it as minimalist, oversized / androgynous, comfortable and urban. No prints (except for stripes), very limited colours, and I generally invest more in coats, jackets and denims.

In your case, I'd start by observing people around you to find out the silhouettes you like (assuming that those people have similar lifestyle) and I would dive into Pinterest.
And then, after that, once you have identified what composes the looks you like, start researching online.
And don't overthink it, it's not brand identity, you don't need to be consistent all the time. I personally find that most people who have a very predictable and identifiable style look a a bit like cartoon characters and find it a bit ridiculous.
Think about why you want "a style" in the first place.

I was an ugly duckling as a teen. I started by finding out what shapes of clothes worked for my body type, ignoring fashion. Just by trying things on in shops. Then magazines tell you what's currently in fashion. If something is trending that doesn't work for me, I don't embrace the trend. I'd rather look slightly outdated in clothes that suit me than like a fashion victim in clothes that dont. These days it isn't just one trend there's usually multiple to choose from so I needn't look outdated doing this.

Then worked out what colours suited me. Again by trying on. Some things make me look vibrant and other things make me look tired or like a corpse. I also had to work out what colours went with each other nicely and not buy things that didn't go with anything else. Learned that the hard way!

Luckily my body hasn't changed much over the years so I've been able to stick with this formula.

Personality has been the hardest factor to work in. I've been guilty of buying for my fantasy life, in the past. Dealt with that by deciding that being myself was more important to me than fitting in. If I want to wear dresses all week then I will (Ilive in an area where everyone looks like they're walking the dog, permanently). I compromise too. Instead of a sparkly party dress when I've no parties to go to I might wear a sequinned jumper with my jeans.

I've also sometimes bought things because they suit my body but it's taken me ages to realise the reason I don't wear them much is because they don't suit my personality. So I'd say whilst you need to dress for the life you and have not the one you want, don't be too practical with your decisions otherwise you end up looking at your wardrobe and just feeling meh about it all.