Rhinoplasty when you have a young child

[Oreocake24]

Hi ladies

I wondered what people’s advice would be as third party.

I don’t like my nose. I never have. I’m 27 and always struggled with it. It’s crooked where I broke it and looks bigger from one side, I call it my ‘ugly side’ so I always pose on my ‘good side’ in photos and when I’m talking to people. I’m very conscious if someone was sat next to me in the car what they’d think of it etc. sometimes I even worry that people will think I’m a catfish when they meet me in real life (when online dating), this hasn’t happened yet and one man said I was prettier in person than in my pictures but i tend not to believe men.

Even though I’ve always been conscious this has only become a big concern recently as I split up with my partner of 10 years. So even though I had my issues with it before I didn’t feel this conscious. I guess now that I’m back out and there wondering whether people find me attractive it’s made me more self conscious.

Everyone tells me I’m beautiful. People at work, friends, family, they always say how much of a pretty girl I am and I’ve also never struggled to attract a man. I do always feel pretty when I’m all done up, but I feel I could be prettier with a nose job.

I’ve been looking into rhinoplasty and the cost is just extortionate. I did go down the filler route (which I’m quite embarrassed to admit really) but this actually made my nose look bigger and I ended up getting it dissolved some time ago.

I’m really stuck between just leaving it and loving myself for what I am and hoping one day I find someone who loves me just like this. Especially as I’d feel unbelievably devastated if my little one felt they needed to go to these extremes. or, whether to get it done before it’s too late.

The struggle for me is that with my 2 year old I’d be out of action from a surgery that isn’t really needed. And I’d feel so terrible not being there for my LO.

Friends and family tell me to get it done if I feel conscious but lots of the more ‘experienced at life’ ladies who I work with tell me to leave well alone and embrace my natural beauty.

Has anyone had one whilst also having a young child and found it more hassle than it was worth? Or has anyone not had one and learnt to love themselves? …

Any advice or comments will be appreciated ladies thank you

I have a very large snub nose. I have learnt to put up with it, if not love it.
For no other reason except that I do not believe in fillers, surgery and such like. And I dont believe it would set a good example to DD.

@CharlotteRumpling This has always been my argument with people (and myself!) that I don’t want my DD to see this behaviour and think that every time she doesn’t like something she can fix it with surgery. how on earth do you learn to love it?

I don’t like my nose op. Or my thighs, or my bum. At the moment I don’t like my stomach either. But… I am fit and healthy and have a young family who I don’t want to give the impression to, that looking less than perfect is a problem. It isn’t. It’s entirely normal and for that reason, even though I’d choose a different body if I could, there’s more to life and objectively I actually look fine, some would say pretty, as you do it sounds like.

You don’t have to love every part of your body op. There’s peace in acceptance, and that goes for a lot of things, not just looks. Would you fix your nose, and then have lipo if you put on weight? Fillers of your lips lose their plumpness? Boob job if your breasts change after another pregnancy? Now I know people do this and that’s none of my business, but you asked so I’m answering. Don’t chase perfection in your looks, it only leads to disappointment, especially when you get older and your looks change anyway

I think this is different than just not liking the nose you were born with. You broke it so I don't see a problem with correcting it, if that's what you want to do.

Exactly. I am in my fifties. I used to have a 24 inch waist. Now I don't.

But I am still of value despite my looks. I am not my body parts.

Op, just noticed you talk about hoping to find someone who will love you like this. This is quite sad, especially as you had a partner for 10 years. Presumably he didn’t leave you because of your nose, so he did love you for who you were. It’s crazy to think no one will love you because your nose is not straight

if you broke it, it’s not what you were born with though is it. I would explain to a child that it’s just like a broken arm that you’d ask a doctor to fix.
(I don’t have an issue with fixing anything regardless of what you were born with, but that’s not what I’d say to a child)

This is the lesson I wish all little girls could be taught.

Honestly, you're a single mum with a toddler...I'd say really don't put yourself at risk by having an unnecessary operation so you can appeal more to the male gaze.

I missed you broke your nose. That may be a different scenario.
I do think though that you can find love again without a great nose or a great anything.

If your daughter has your nose when she gets a bit older, will you hate her nose and will you think she’s ugly?

If the answer is no, this is a you problem and the money would be better spent on therapy for your self esteem.

EDIT: sorry also missed that it was broken! I feel differently about that, it would be reasonable to fix something that’s been broken, and you can explain that to a child if they ask.

Hi OP, to answer your question (you seem to just be getting comments regarding not needing your nose done), I had a rhinoplasty when my children were 1 and 6 months.

I had my breasts done at the same time and honestly it was fine.

I was really worried about the pain I’d be in from the rhinoplasty but my surgeon actually told me the breasts would be more painful and he was right.

Had I just had the nose done I wouldn’t have been ‘out of action’ at all really. Though I may have felt a bit self conscious had I had to leave the house with the covering on my nose but I would have physically been able to do it.

It was only because my breasts were sore that my husband had to carry the load for a few days.

Good luck whatever you decide to do.

Don't do it, you don't need it even if it has been broken. You're focusing on this because of your break up as soty of putting the blame on your nose. It's only one part of you so you should focus on what you like about yourself. If you like you boobs for instance buy yourself sel soe tight low cut tops, your hands ? Nice ring and nails. Do you see where I'm going ?

Also if you're kids are anything like them they all headbutted me quite frequently especially when they were little

I have always hated my nose it’s not noticeable as I’m sure everyone wouldn’t even look at my nose and think anything of it but there’s things I don’t like so I always used to wish for a nose job. I’m now 37 and I honestly don’t care, it’s my nose and I just learnt to not care and there’s nothing massively wrong with it. You’ve come out of a 10 year relationship so feeling self conscious but your partner loved you for 10 years with the nose you have so why won’t anyone else? And certainly don’t do it to look more appealing to others!! The right person will love you for you

When i had my nose done I didn't need to stay in over night.Id look look into it and ask the hospitals

Thanks everyone for your replies. I do think I need to accept how I look my life is very hectic and taking time out because of surgery just isn’t going to happen. It’s definitely something that’s in the back of my mind as it has been for years but i just want to prove to my little girl that in a world full of ‘quick fixes’ we can still be pretty and feel good about ourselves without changing something we don’t like.
perhaps it is just the self esteem thing due to the breakup as PP said.

Not the same level at all, but at 30 I decided I needed to sort out my teeth. Another 6 years on and I’m finally doing it. I really wish I’d done it 6 years ago because I really notice it in photos with my kids.
I don’t think there’s anything wrong in doing things to make yourself feel better - particularly when in your case it’s fixing something that was broken.
I completely get you on the taking time out stance though- I wouldn’t know how much time out I’d personally find tolerable

@Comedycook

i think that’s very presumptuous of you to assume that is why OP wants it done. Not everything a woman does is done for men you know.

A lot of her first post mentions dating and finding a new partner

I love an interesting schnoz, I think they make faces look distinguished and beautiful.

OP, maybe you need to find inspiration in some of the wonderful noses out there:

Lady Gaga
Meryl Streep
Tamsin Grieg
Camille Cottin
Uma Thurman
Angelica Huston
Krysten Ritter
SJP

The thing to realise, when it comes to great beauties and A list celebrities, it's not all people with tiny button noses and perfectly symmetrical faces. You need a distinctive face to stand out.

My mum has a schnozz like Barbra Streisand. She looks distinguished and regal in my eyes, and has been much loved through her life.

Am another with a strong roman nose. Never used to like but didn't hate it enough to go through surgery. Am really pleased I did not as it's really grown into my face. I have been told it is what sets me apart and makes me striking to look at rather than attractive.

You're still young, you have plenty of time to grow to understand how special your nose it and how it is part of you. Additionally, as you age, it will work in your favour too. Well-defined faces have bones that are great scaffolding! However, and of course, given you broke your nose, then it is a different scenario, so understand why you're struggling and want it 'fixed'.

Btw, everyone, no matter how perfect/imperfect their nose, has a good side and a not so good side, you are not alone in this. This is why so many in the public eye, particularly actors, singers and the like often will only be photographed from certain angles.

I think there is a big difference between getting a nose job because you’ve broken it and getting one because you don’t like your natural nose. Your child isn’t going to inherit your broken nose for one thing.

Most people naturally have noses that suit them imo, although they very rarely see that. Everyone seems to want a tiny button nose at the moment, regardless of the size of their features/face.