Indian Wedding - outfit for fat white woman!

[WhamBhamThankYouMham]

We are attending a wedding in India. For the other 3 events I am happy to wear western outfits but my understanding is that it is very much preferred for guests to wear Indian outfits for the wedding itself. The wardrobe planner for this part of the event states "Royal Indian Traditionals".

A lot of the outfits seem to have a bare midriff which, as a very pale size 20, I'm not that keen on 🤣 Can anyone point me in the right direction for something that might look halfway decent and is reasonably accessible for me to obtain but will make sure I fit in with what might be expected of an overseas guest!

You don't need to do bare midriff - look at salwar kameez. You can get these in longer and shorter styles. Basically a dress with pants and a shawl/wrap thing called a duputta.

Lots of people also wear "gowns" in India which are a a long dress (floor length) but in an Indian style (embroidery/fabric) sometimes with a duputta.

If you live in London go to south hall or green street, Leicester has a good selection of Indian shops as does Birmingham. More dotted about. You can also order online. ASOS often has stuff that would pass for an Indian wedding too x

There will be women larger than you. I agree a salwar kameez might be best and you can wear it again in the future. Easy to wear.
The hosts will be thrilled you have made the effort.

Where a fusion outfit, a heavily embroidered dress plus floaty scarf basically

If you can get to Leicester, head to belgrave road where there's several shops which will have something perfect or if you are arriving in India with literally a day or two to spare, just buy there - they literally will make you clothes in a a day and deliver to your hotel! Your hotel will be only too delighted to recommend though Google maps is an excellent place to source something from here ready to get there. Where are you going? Perhaps someone here can recommend ... I can advice a couple of places I bought from

Alternatively in our shops currently there are suitable dresses, choose near to full length (but top tip, not quite full length as the ground tends to be messy) and add a scarf to look more Indian, the more embroidery and sequins the better, you cannot be overdressed. I wore a Hobbs dress to an event and people thought it was Indian, they also liked a phase 8 dress which again was old, embroidered, very bright and I never wear in the U.K.!

Tooting, SW London have some great shops if you are in that part of the country. The owners were really helpful for me.

You absolutely cant be overdressed. Thiis is the time to get out all your bling!

I would agree with going all out on embroidery and beads and a bright colour plus lots of jewellery.

I went to an Asian wedding and was one of the few white guests (I loved the experience it was a huge privilege to be asked). I am a friend of the groom and he was not much help on dress code advice. I wish I had asked a woman as he just told me knees and shoulders must be covered and not much else. I went with a long plain dress but I felt really drab and underdressed in comparison to the other guests.

In this instance I think more is definitely more

Thanks so much everyone! I could get to Tooting relatively easily but maybe it is better to get something out there if stuff can be turned round quite easily. @mitogoshigg do you have any recommendations in Mumbai?

I’m in a similar position and I’ve been advised to wear a lenga rather than a sari for the events that are not the wedding. It’s a very long tunic split up the sides but no midriff showing worn with baggy trousers. For the wedding I have what I think is called a suit: a long skirt with a shorter top which comes down further than the top of the skirt, worn with a scarf. If you can, get to Tooting/Leicester/Birmingham

I think if you are overweight, a sari would be the most flattering. I am sure there will be someone in the bridal party who will help you tie it. You could then use the material to make an outfit further down the line if you want. The only thing is having a blouse stitched.
It is a lot of fun shopping in mumbai, but depends how many days prior to the wedding you are going. If you have time, then do it there and a blouse can be stitched in a couple of days. If not just head to an Indian store here.
I would reach out to the bridal party and ask. Often if there are lots of people coming from abroad they might organise a shopping expedition or you could just ask for recommendations on where to go. It is super fun doing it there though as you just sit and they bring you loads of things out to try. More choice too.

No disrespect meant to Indian ladies, but they come in all shapes and sizes just like all ladies do - they still all look gorgeous in their traditional wedding attire! Enjoy the wedding and the hospitality.

@DieStrassensindimmernass I totally agree. But my skin is so pale I'm basically see through and I know that a bare pale (fat!) midriff will not be a good look on me personally. Super grateful for all the alternative suggestions though so that I can look less ridiculous! 🤣

Generally the hosts or their relatives will organise clothes if you ask. Mumbai is a huge city so it might be good to ask them for suggestions near where you are.

Type judi dench best exotic marigold hotel clothes into Google, lots of ideas there. I thought she looked so stylish in those films, and agree with poster that Indian ladies whatever their body shape, look fabulous.

2nd Salwar khameez.and sequins.. Southall in west London is full of lovely clothes shops .... Range of colours are huge so just pick a tone/shade that suits you..
It's been a while since i needed an outfit but the staff were really helpful..in most of the shops..
I would get something or at least try before as it could be a bit stressful trying to sort out when you get there...

You don’t need to bare your midriff at all. Lehenga’s are more flattering for younger, slimmer people in my opinion. Salwar’s are fine, though often I don’t think they look all that dressy for a more high end kind of wedding. Sari’s are more classy for older women and you can have them tied high and have your stomach covered.
Wouldn’t overthink it or worry about looking ridiculous, just wear whatever it is with confidence and enjoy yourself. There will prob be loads of people there and no one will be judging you.

O fat white woman whom nobody loves,
Why do you walk through the fields in gloves,

Sorry OP these lines popped into my head I'm sure you're loved and lovely.

[It's a poem before I'm accused of being sizeist]

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Frances_Cornford

100%

As others have said look to see if you can get a lehenga, mughal style gown, or salwaar kameez. If you have a few days before the wedding I would recommend getting something made over there - that's what I do.

Have a look at this for ideas, they ship to the UK: https://www.diyaonline.com/women/collection/wedding.html

I would look into a sari - there's some really beautiful ones, you can get a longer blouse or tie it so it's higher.

I love the style of lehengas but unless you're slim they won't work, as most will come with a short blouse and there's nowhere to hide. I wore a lehenga skirt only at a wedding recently with a plain vest top but that won't work for a wedding in India.

You could try an anarkali which is basically a dress. But I think a sari is really the way to go, the shop staff will help you tie it and they can stitch it so you don't need to fold it all yourself on the day or worry about it coming untied.

Pastel colours and florals are very in now, much less of the really bright colours among younger people. Which I think is a shame myself, but fashions change! So bear that in mind if you want to be a bit more current.

Agree with salwar kameez being the most comfortable option but you need to pick carefully to ensure that it's dressy enough for a wedding- lots aren't. I absolutely love lehenga but don't think they're the most flattering for bigger women. I've always been scared of sarees!

You might want to think about getting something tailormade as the range of ready made stuff in bigger sizes will be limited, I'm afraid. (Speak from experience). Diya online is not bad for bigger options, as suggested by someone else. You can get tailormade from a lot of Indian shops here in the UK, though obviously it's cheaper in India if you have enough time.

You will need plenty of blingy jewellery as well.

Indian weddings are great fun, so enjoy!

These have been a game changer for me: https://oneminutesaree.com/

Just to confuse you further, these days you can get readymade saris. Ie ones you dont have to drape with fixed pleats Just a skirt you step into.

Snap. Poster above has posted one.

Go to Southall OP
They will find you an outfit and adjust as needed