Is this okay for tea at the Ritz and ROH?

[DieDreiHexen]

We visit London quite often, but mostly supper in Marylebone, picnic in the park, the theatre, lunch by the river, an exhibition or Ronnie Scott's (or work!) Basically, nice stuff but nothing fancy, just wear jeans or a day dress. This outing is unusual for me...

We are celebrating DD's 16th birthday in January with a trip to Mikimoto for pearl earrings, tea at the Ritz and Onegin at the Royal Opera House. We are overnighting at the Ritz (already looking forward to breakfast!)

DD has an amazing Sister Jane dress.

Would this dress do for me? How do people dress for ROH? Is it better in black or cream? (I'm a Deep Autumn apparently) And what shoes might work? I was hoping I might get away with loafers as I hate heels.

Any ideas appreciated!

I couldn’t disagree more. It makes it seem elitist and as though it’s only for a certain kind of person, rather than just listening to music. People should absolutely dress up as much as and if they like, especially if they’re attending the ballet as a special birthday occasion like the OP and her DD, but other people should be able to get an affordable ticket and wander in on their way home from work wearing whatever they wear to work.

Totally agree @DriedHydrangeas Opera has worked so hard to dispell myths about it being elitist or only for posh people, and yet it still comes up over and over again.

If you want to dress up that's great but ROH is clear you don't have to.

It is the sort of place that attracts people who are going once for a very special occasion as well as people straight from work, people who go to every performance (particularly for ballet when some people will book for each different cast) and everything in between.

It's a bit patronising to assume people have to be certain kind to manage a nice dress. You can find them in charity shop cheaper then jeans, they don't have to be expensive brands. Simple black would do. It would be elitist if you were expected to come in Prada.

I never said people should not be allowed to dress how they want. They can and they do. For me personally it takes away from the atmosphere though.

Why do people have such a hard time to actually understand what someone is saying and always have to turn it into some kind of ideology?!
I don't think opera should be elitist. I don't think there is anything elitist about wearing a dress unless its Prada. You can find them in charity shop for £10. Actually they often costs less then jeans. People from all walks of life manage not to turn up in yoga pants for weddings, work, funerals, restaurants, clubs etc.
I used to flat share in London on minimum wage and I managed to change at work before going out.
When I first attended opera my parents had very little money. It was a rare, special occasion and being nicely dressed and seeing everyone making an effort added to MY experience. I loved the atmosphere and thought it was out of this world. I clearly stated its about my opinion and my preferences. I hope that's still allowed?!
I'm not saying people should not be allowed to dress how they want. This forum is really infuriating someoetimes.

My grandma used to say it takes the same amount of time to put on a nice dress as it does a shabby dress. She was so right.

Exactly this. The idea, that making an effort to dress nicely is elitist is so bizarre. Most women have at least one decent dress or trousers in their wardrobe or they can buy it cheaply. If anything, affording tickets for ROH can be more of a challenge for many people.

I tend to agree with you; I often feel slightly sorry for anyone who's making a real effort to come and thinking it's a great once-in-a-lifetime treat and they find us all slobbing about like we're at the cinema. I also think it's probably less intimidating for new people (and therefore more 'accessible') if there's a very clear dress code. I'm not sure that just saying anything goes is terribly helpful for people who really haven't got a clue what to expect; are ballgowns ok? dungarees? bikinis?! It also feels rather snobbish and condescending, like we have to try not to scare the poor commoners who probably only own second-hand jeans and will feel compelled to bow and clutch at their forelocks if they see someone in a nice dress. I find it slightly difficult to believe that there are many people who are feeling unable to attend to the opera purely because they can't afford a shirt and smart trousers...

Having said all that... so many people do come straight from work, and very many live out of town and don't have the option of going home to change. So I don't actually think there should be a strict dress code, I just feel slightly sad when I see tracksuits. I almost never attend on the weekend though so hopefully people dress up a bit more on a Saturday, especially as I'd guess that's more likely going to be when newcomers and one-offs come along.

Yes, the notion that dressing nicely for theatre is elitist actually is a very elitist idea.
We commoners do have a nice dress or pair of smart trousers in our wardrobe. And yes, we do like to make the most of special occasions because we can rarely afford them.

Tracksuits???? Omfg

@DieDreiHexen Yes. Your dress is fine. As a regular at ROH, you won’t see much obvious evening wear.Or jeans! Mostly women wear smart day dresses and evening trousers and stylish tops. That sort of easy to wear clothes. Long dresses are a rarity in my experience. Put your coats in the cloakroom and enjoy the experience! Get there early as it’s a big building. You can order drinks for the interval and they will be waiting for you. Make sure you know where the bar is. Pre ordering avoids the scrum and gives you more time to enjoy the drinks.

The Ritz will be lovely. Again there’s a “smart day” dress code most people follow for tea and again you want to be comfortable. Just don’t spill anything on your cream dress. Have a great time.

Gosh, your life must be difficult if you find it so challenging to have people disagree with you. I think we’re probably thinking about different situations. You’re thinking about going to the opera as a special occasion where you have the time and inclination to dress up because it enhances the occasion, as the OP is. I’m thinking about people who go regularly on cheap tickets, and will be going on their way home from work, work which may or may not be compatible with wearing ‘a nice dress’. Few Londoners are going get changed between work and socialising, especially for an opera with a 7.30 start (and earlier with long operas). I appreciate that you prioritised changing.

But comparing going to an opera with a wedding, job interview, work or funeral is a bit mad. Those have dress codes, as do some restaurants. The ROH is explicit on its info for new attendees that it doesn’t. You can’t require other people to dress as you would prefer to enhance your experience.

https://www.rbo.org.uk/visit/your-first-visit#:~:text=There%20is%20no%20dress%20code,is%20entirely%20up%20to%20you.

All the arguments you've made are irrelevant to me and to what I wrote.

Personal likes and dislikes can't be argued with because well... they are personal and by definition subjective. I expressed my personal preference.

Someone quoted me and painted my preference as something that according to her is elitist and unacceptable. So no, I don't find it challenging when someone has different opinion. I find it challenging when someone makes me feel bad for having my own, twisting what I said in the process because their need to shine and correct people inhibits their reading comprehension.
This makes me even more uncomfortable because my appreciation of dressing nicely for opera comes from perspective of young girl on low income, for whom being able to attend such event was in itself a special occasion and a rare treat. A very personal experience.

I didn't compare Opera with weddings. So no I didn't say anything "a bit mad" . I used weddings and funerals as example, that us commoners do have some nice clothes in our wardrobe and the idea that something is less accessible to us because we can't turn up in tracksuit is patronising and more "elitist " then the dress codes.
I DON'T require anybody to dress as I would prefer. I made it clear in previous posts, I think people should be able to dress how they want.

Thank you for the link but I'm aware ROH doesn't have a dress code.

To be fair, I think I've only seen the one and I noticed it because it was unusual. I did have a brief chat with the person in question in the interval (not about their sartorial choices obviously!) and they were a reasonably regular attendee from Battersea rather than a clueless street urchin from 'the hood' who'd saved all their pennies for the ticket and so couldn't afford to buy clothes...

There are a lot of jeans and trainers though, and I did notice a couple of 'wife-beaters' during a heatwave. The 'usual' outfit though is skirt/trousers and blouse for women, the op's dresses are definitely towards the dressier end of normal, but shouldn't garner any odd looks. I did once see a woman in a stunning red velvet ballgown once and I really wanted to know why - was it her first time and she assumed that was the dress code? was she going on to a midnight ball? the king was in that night (though not officially) so was she something to do with him? She looked sensational though and I do slightly wish we did all dress like that! Nobody stared or said anything though, so even if you do look out of place people will be far too polite to mention it :)

It occurs to me that clothing may depend on where you sit - I'm almost always OS or SC where you'll probably find a lot of regulars who can't be bothered to put in much effort. Paul Hamlyn's definitely a bit dressier than downstairs, I've not been up top for a while other than for rehearsals but I think that's probably somewhere between the two. So providing op's not down with us scruffs in stalls, she'll probably fit right in!

I’ve not seen jeans very often. Stalls clothes not much different to anywhere else! The amphitheatre seats are usually the cheapest. However there is no need to dress up but I would avoid jeans and t shirts and long evening dresses. Keep tiaras at home.

I agree. Maybe it's to do with zoning out what you're not interested in seeing mean that I don't notice jeans and t- shirts but do notice more interesting clothes- and there's usually plenty to look at.

At Eugene Onegin I spotted someone in the ground floor café wearing this Klements skirt. I was wearing the pink silk dress version.

Klements skirt

Love the dress in cream, very versatile!

And the green dress for your DD is amazing! Hope she feels a million dollars wearing it.

@IHaveNeverLivedintheCastle Yes but that is dsywear and illustrates my viewpoint . So pretty standard in many ways. Put that with a cashmere top and it’s just lovely. My feeling is that long, sequins, golds and silver and obvious evening wear is OTT. Ditto very casual is too casual. In the week, office clothes are pretty normal. Personally I like wider trousers and a good quality top that coordinates. I’ve always felt I look good enough! I tend to think great fitting comfortable clothes in decent fabrics look the best. There’s just no need to go over m-dressed and the OP won’t.

@Bibi12 depends what it is, my dd was crying and begged me to take her away after hours of ballet, sleeping beauty at roh.

Loved the nutcracker though.

You’ll be absolutely fine. It’s a lovely dress but not too much.
dressing at ROH is a mixed bag, you rarely see people in the evening clothes there anymore:)

Sleeping Beuuty is great if anyone likes ballet and the story. Don’t take a child if they don’t want a full ballet. There are intervals though! I think Alice in Wonderland is great for dc but worth knowing the story first.

Yes me too! Why has everything got to be so miserable these days. Fgs people OP posted on a board asking for style advice, not a dissection of her entire life choices!

OP I’m excited for your daughter and might just plan myself a fancy afternoon tea next time I’m in London in your honour ;D enjoy it!

I like the fact that anything goes. Just because people are wearing jeans it doesn't matter if you want to be a bit smarter.

One or two might be wearing jeans. You tend to notice them! They are fairly unusual. Especially if they are men.

I can’t work out what’s annoying me more about this thread. The unpleasant comments about the daughter’s birthday plans and her/her mum’s outfits, or the stealth bragging going on. There is something for everyone here!

What "stealth bragging" are you referring to? Posters talking about their actual experiences of going to operas and ballet at ROH?

How is that "stealth bragging" any more than posts about going to any other event or destination?