45 and frumpy, what do I need?

[BarbaraVineFan]

I have just turned 45 with a 5 year old. I am 5'1'' and used to be a size 10 but after DD my weight started to creep up and now I am a size 16-18. I have small boobs and carry a lot of weight on my tummy and just feel like I look awful in clothes.

At work I wear dresses with cardigans or jackets, or sometimes trousers with a blouse. I think my workwear is ok. But at the weekend I just shove on jeans (skinny) or black trousers and a jumper. I don't go out much but when I do, I wear 'jeans and a nice top', but don't seem to be able to find nice tops that flatter my shape. I also don't have much money and hate going shopping because I hate the way I look in the changing room mirror :( short and dumpy!

Basically I need advice on what to wear to make myself look vaguely stylish at the weekend. Maybe some links to some affordable pieces that I could buy to update my wardrobe. If anyone could help, I would be really grateful. Thank you!

Wide leg jeans or barrel leg jeans.

Thank you @Britpopbaby . I always think that because I'm so short, I would look terrible in wide leg jeans - a bit like a clown!- but could give it a go!

I'm 5ft 2 and look much better in wide legs than skinny. Have to avoid high waists though, as the end up as a boob shelf. Since you like your eork blouses, could you wear them or a casual version of the style you like?

I'd ditch jumpers and cardigans and switch to casual / jersey blazers, I always feel a bit more put together.

Do you have a John Lewis near you? They do a free personal stylist session, you tell them in advance the kind of thing you’re after and I’ve been a couple of times and they’re not pushy at all and super lovely :)

A couple of times I’ve bought a couple of things but come away with ideas and then found the same or v similar items on Vinted.

Blazers are a good idea but surely in the winter that doesn't work? With a winter coat?

Depends on the type of coat you wear I guess. I normally wear an Original Montgomery Duffle a size bigger than I need and that fine, if you wear a sportier or padded jacket perhaps it wouldn't.

There are some body shapes which just do not as easily look smart but you can look put together and find your own style.
Lots of advice online about styles for different shapes which might give you ideas but sometimes they just don’t relate to fashions currently available, to your lifestyle or to the climate in the uk. They are good for things like kidding the eye that your body is longer, v neck start a straight line, not too many colour breaks, not drawing the eye to your widest point.
I would give yourself a bit of time, either at home with existing clothes or in a large shop with a big selection and try different shapes of blouses, jumpers, dresses, etc and try to see what works, tiny variations in length can make a real difference.
I echo a previous poster about a jacket making outfits smarter, it is a sort of marker, it needs to be the right jacket though.
Other markers of having made an effort are colours that suit you, accessories, haircut.

@BarbaraVineFan I am shorter and I wear wide legs as I like the look of my legs in them. The stomach area not so much but I just have to accept it! My wide legs are from Boden of all places!

OK, so I have been on vinted and ordered a red duffle coat and some wide leg jeans! Thanks for the suggestions :)

Now I'm thinking about weekend tops to go with my jeans. A lot of my tops are a bit frumpy I think and I need to get some new ones.

I am not a massive fan of plain tops unless they are an interesting colour (I like jewel colours)- I.tend to prefer patterns, but sometimes I am not sure if I'm going for patterns which are ageing on me. Could anyone please suggest some good brands/post links? I like heavier material usually as it is more flattering to my lumpy bits, so some of the thinner ones from eg Uniqlo are no good for me.

Hopeful bump!

If you like dresse at work could you go with some more casual ones? With thick tights or leggings?

By not having a join across the middle (even if covered with a longer top) I think can look more slimline.

As an aside, not feeling frumpy is also a mindset. I’m not a nails and markup person but do feel better if I put a bit more effort into my hair! Then shoes - you can have some fun with bright trainers, nice boots, fancy brogues.

OP please stop talking about clothes being aging! Flannel shirts would be a good option. Leopard print is big at the moment and normally comes around every so often and many consider it a neutral so maybe worth considering.

Hush Mimi tops or whatever they are calling them this year are good and in bright colours.
Massive Barbara Vine fan here too

I am a similar height to you, and now 42 - in the last year I've gone from a size 8/10 to a 12 with no diet change. I feel the same about frumpiness.

I am also drawn to pattern but fine it's becoming very ageing on me. I'm trying to stick to plain colours and adding detail/colour and interest with accessories.

I'm also short and carry weight round my middle I find bootcut/flared jeans the most flattering so might also be a shape to look at. I also wear straight leg with an oversize blazer and a tshirt or fine knit jumper now it's getting a bit colder and some modern jewellery it's a simple look but it works for most occasions.

I love pattern too but only certain patterns, for me Seasalt have some of the best print designs and are usually a good weight but are not cheap. Sugarhill Brighton has some nice tops but a bit thinner. TKMaxx are good if you feel up to raking through!
I tend to get jeans, jeggings etc from next or M&S and spend a bit more on my top half, several brands I like, Masai, Thought, Great Plains, French Connection, but only buy when reduced.
M&S had boot cut jeggings in today.