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Style and beauty

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How to be stylish?

18 replies

DCIJackieDeering · 20/10/2024 13:19

I’m trying to be smarter, I’ve got a new fancy job, and want a fancier one. And I genuinely want to look stylish, but I don’t know how. I buy nice things, I don’t know how to put them together. I don’t know how to put colours together. I was watching some videos on Insta with people doing clever things tucking clothes in and with accessories, I’ve no idea where to start with that.

Ive got budget to put to this, but am reluctant because I just keep buying stuff and don’t know what to do with it. Do I need a personal shopper, independent stylist, to find the right you tube?

im nearly 50, and want to step it up a gear style wise in my 50s.

OP posts:
Sindymindy · 20/10/2024 13:21

Stylish is different things to different people but it you mean polished and professional then simple tailoring is always a good shout

BeetledBrow · 20/10/2024 13:46

Have you watched Ludwig? If not you can binge the whole thing on iPlayer.

Look out for Dorothy Atkinson as DCS Carol Shaw. Observe her wardrobe.

Emulate.

Simple.

IHaveNeverLivedintheCastle · 20/10/2024 15:32

BeetledBrow · 20/10/2024 13:46

Have you watched Ludwig? If not you can binge the whole thing on iPlayer.

Look out for Dorothy Atkinson as DCS Carol Shaw. Observe her wardrobe.

Emulate.

Simple.

Agreed.

Or for a softer take, Lesley Manville's character in The Magpie Murders.

piccolorhinoceros · 20/10/2024 15:51

I find YouTube very helpful. Maybe try Lydia Tomlinson or Kate Hutchins. They're younger, but have classic styles. I used to buy stuff and never wear it. Now I'm much more mindful with my purchases. Most of my clothes are black or grey or white or beige, and it makes it much easier to get dressed and feel put together. Some people may think it's boring, but it works for me.

thesandwich · 20/10/2024 15:53

John Lewis personal shopper session worth a look- and free.

Neveranynamesleft · 20/10/2024 15:53

Different clothes fit differently on different body shapes so what looks good on one person may not look quite the same on another. Trial and error unfortunately !

TimoteiChaletpants · 20/10/2024 15:58

Wear one colour or two colours.
think about proportions. Wide legs with a fitted top, or baggy top with slim something underneath. Coat length should be longer than skirt hem if possible.

OvaHere · 20/10/2024 17:19

I've been doing the same this year. With a new job, extra income and grown children I've finally had the headspace to sort myself out a bit. I've also found Youtube helpful for finding women of a similar age who discuss clothes, make up, hair etc.

It's taken a while to get to grips with it but I'm starting to have a clearer idea of how I'd like to look. A few things I've discovered so far that have helped -

A good hair cut, decent shampoo/conditioner and products for blow drying. I'm using Pureology S&C but a lot of people like Kerastase, Olaplex, Ouai etc. It's expensive but it's made a difference and I've found I don't have to use as much of it as supermarket S&C. I'm peri menopausal and I've found my hair has changed recently so my Aussie products I've used for years stopped being good enough.

Accessories - I'm making a concerted effort to wear jewellery most of the time. Just simple chains, a bracelet and some nice hoops. I used to wear silver jewellery mostly when I was young but something has changed and I look a lot better in gold. Whatever clothes I'm wearing I look a lot more together if I add a few nice bits of jewellery, a nice scarf or belt. Doesn't have to be expensive, I've bought some nice bits from the high street and Etsy for £10-30.

A good coat that is flattering and fits properly. This is something, especially for winter, it's worth spending a good amount on to get something classic and quality that can be dressed up and down and will last a few years.

Two nice useable handbags - similar reasons as coat. One black and one brown/burgundy/taupe or other neutral-ish colour.

Shoes/trainers/boots - admittedly this is one I'm still getting to grips with because for some reason I've never enjoyed buying footwear. I don't think you need loads but you do need a range of footwear that compliment outfits easily and wear well. It's annoying when you put a nice thought out look together then realise you own no footwear that works with it. This happens to me a lot.

Make up and skincare. I came out of the child rearing bubble to realise all the make up I had (not much) was at least 10 years old and I only knew how to apply make up one way - which was the way I did it when I was 20. Not going to cut it at 48 so I've had to re-learn. Ditto how to get the best out of my dry, rosacea prone, mature skin with skin products.

This is the area Youtube has been most useful for. Ignore videos from anyone under about 35, yes they look great but you can't replicate the style of people who have young firm skin. Less is more - it's not really about looking made up (unless this is what you like) but not looking tired, sallow, blotchy and all the other menopause delights. I feel mentally better if I catch sight of myself and I'm not all eye bags and hormonal breakouts.

Perfume - go smell loads. Buy one you really love even if it's £££ and have a signature scent (or two if you want a summer one and winter one). Use it everyday. No saving for best!

Lastly and this should be really obvious but it wasn't to me for ages. Shopping! You have to physically go shopping, discover what shops and styles are out there. Look and touch clothes, try stuff on. Take a friend who will be honest about what looks good. Only buy clothes online once you know a brand very well and have a good sense of what suits you. All the best things I've bought recently I've tried on first.

Don't impulse buy but just figure out what you like because if you're anything like me you won't know any more because you've spent a chunk of years mostly buying leggings from Asda and the odd panic bought item from Next on the rare occasion you were invited somewhere. Items you never loved, never really suited you but they 'did'. This takes a while and I've not fully got there yet, partly because I'm attempting to lose my excess weight and being even a couple of stone lighter will make clothes buying easier.

I'm not going to pretend all this comes cheap. I've probably spent about 10 years of budget in one year however I've looked at it as just recouping what I owe myself for the 10 -15 years or so I've spent not very much on me. If I never see a pair of supermarket leggings again it will be too soon!

FormerlySpeckledyHen · 20/10/2024 17:42

Get your colours done and have a style day too, to determine your clothing personality and what suits you.

OnlyFrench · 20/10/2024 18:26

Who do you feel is stylish?

gladrefrain · 20/10/2024 18:44

FormerlySpeckledyHen · 20/10/2024 17:42

Get your colours done and have a style day too, to determine your clothing personality and what suits you.

Was going to suggest getting colors done too. Makes a big difference

Powderblue1 · 20/10/2024 18:53

I would have a colour analysis and maybe use a personal shopper as a starting point

DieDreiHexen · 20/10/2024 19:27

@OvaHere This is all great advice.

I'm also emerging from raising a young family and finally have a bit more time and money. I'm not super fashionable, but wear good quality classic clothes in mostly natural fibres and I think they suit me.

Things that work for me and might work for you are:

Knowing what colours you like (not necessarily having your colours done, but knowing what makes you feel good)

Having a few styles you know work, and buying stuff in those styles when you see them. If necessary in more than one colour. I know short, waisted dresses look good on me. They aren't very fashionable at the moment so if I like, I snap it up. I don't buy loads of clothes now, but get good quality items.

Not too much makeup, but a bag of really good quality products. No fillers etc. They look tacky.

Similarly, simple but good jewellery. I like diamond and pearl studs and gold hoops, but they don't have to be real.

Having your hair professionally cut and coloured and your nails nicely done. I also spend a disproportionate amount of time pulling hairs out of my face in the car mirror, although that's just quite good fun.

Maybe this is controversial, but staying in shape. It's good for your energy and physical health, but it's so much easier to look good on clothes when you are slim (sorry if I've offended anyone)

OvaHere · 20/10/2024 19:57

@DieDreiHexen I would actually like to have my colours done. I downloaded a free app that supposedly helps you figure it out. I think I might be soft/warm autumn but I'm not 100% sure. Because burgundy is everywhere this season I have discovered it really suits me so I now have a couple of burgundy items and a lovely burgundy lip gloss. Not a colour I'd really considered previously.

BIossomtoes · 20/10/2024 20:05

piccolorhinoceros · 20/10/2024 15:51

I find YouTube very helpful. Maybe try Lydia Tomlinson or Kate Hutchins. They're younger, but have classic styles. I used to buy stuff and never wear it. Now I'm much more mindful with my purchases. Most of my clothes are black or grey or white or beige, and it makes it much easier to get dressed and feel put together. Some people may think it's boring, but it works for me.

Works for me too. My palette is black, white, grey, navy and cobalt blue. Basically everything goes with everything else.

If you have the budget look at The Fold for workwear @DCIJackieDeering, their clothes are gorgeous, very elegant.

HeeseChamwich · 21/10/2024 12:35

I'm not sure if this is available for you or if you could afford it, but my friend got herself a day-long session with a stylist. It was fabulous.

The stylist came to her house in the morning and went through her wardrobe in intricate detail which gave her a whole new take on items she already had - how to pair things, how to tuck things, what items just needed a slight boost, things that really didn't work etc.

Then they went shopping together for a few hours and concentrated on buying items that'd elevate what she already head and key new items as part of a capsule wardrobe.

I think it cost about £400 (not including the cost of the new items) but I'm not exaggerating when I say it changed my friend's life.

DCIJackieDeering · 23/10/2024 12:33

Thank you, this is very helpful. To the person who said it’s easier to look stylish if you’re slim. I completely agree, I’m not at the moment but trying to do something about it.

I’ll look at those YouTube channels. I’m trying to up my jewellery game. I bought a few nice costume bits in M&S, once I’m more confident I’ll spend more.

@HeeseChamwich ive found people locally who offer that service, I’m very tempted to use it. Interesting to hear it worked so well for her

OP posts:
nameXname · 26/10/2024 18:23

Best of luck, OP.

Agree with (a) dress for your shape - never mind about fashion. Most models are, after all, getting on for six feet tall and stick-thin. What suits them (and looks good in photos) is not going to suit an average woman of 5ft 4in or thereabouts, even if they are slim and healthy (and that is, of course, a very, very good thing to be). Also (b) find out -there's lots of free stuff online - which colours suit you. IMHO the 'classiest' looks are just a couple of shades that blend with your skin tone, plus some of the similarly-suitable neutrals: navy, grey, brown, black, olive green, charcoal grey, camel, burgundy... Again IMHO, plain colours normally look much nicer than patterns.
(c) YET again this is just IMHO, re jewellery, less is more. MUCH, much = better a couple of good quality items that suit your skin tone than lots of cheaper stuff. Clearly cheapo fun stuff -especially if vintage - however usually (paradoxically) looks ok. Because it's clearly there to be fun, not to try to convince anyone.
(d) dress for the real life you live, not for some internet image. For instance, in winter, I and all the local young women (much younger than me) wear sensible boots to cope with local frost, ice and snow (northern Scotland). That's an extreme example, but few things look less 'polished' than someone teetering about in inappropriate footwear.

Am sorry to sound so prescriptive. Ignore all this if you don't like it. Just you be you and authentic. That's what really matters.

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