Help me dress casual

[CheekySwan]

I am 46, I have lost weight and I am hovering at a large 10, small 12. I generally wear skinny jeans and a top or leggings and a baggy top and I am fed up - it's mainly been to hide my weight as I was a large 14.

My sons 25 yr old GF comes round and she always looks so well put together but I don't want to copy her style. I would feel weird.

I just don't know what to wear to be smart casual. I would like some jeans that are not skinny, I would like to wear trainers but I don't want to come across as mutton but, I don't look that old. Are short skirts ok to wear at my age? I think what I'm asking for help with is bringing my look up to date so I can start feeling better about myself and make an effort. I've covered up for so long and I want to show off what I have achieved,,,,,but I don't know where to start.

That's all fine @PyreneanAubrie but the op has specifically said she would like to start by bringing her look up to date.

Personally I think jeans are the best thing about fashion at the moment because there are so many styles around and no single shape is dominant (yet). So if all your new jeans are the same (or very similar) style then I think you'll be missing a trick. I would only keep one and then get some that are different e.g. wideleg or flares or curve leg - something you like but that feels a little more out of your comfort zone, and then make sure you wear them even if you feel a bit self conscious first.

I'm retired now and I've realised it was much easier to keep up with what was current when I was spending 2 or 3 days a week in the city centre and absorbing it sub-consciously. So now I'm having to be a bit more considered and I've started making a point of:
Going round our local H&M about once a month, not to buy but just to see what's new and also how they're styling it. (Zara would also work but I find both the store and website too chaotic to be helpful.)
Looking out for the Grazia or Hello fashion supplements. They seem to do one or two every season and I find they're a good way of keeping up with what's on the high street because they picked out the main trends for you. Again you don't have to buy anything suggested but you gradually absorb it.
Reading the Times fashion page on a Wednesday (recommended on this board).
Watching people in the coffee shop. (To to be fair I was doing that anyway.).
I don't follow any fashion influencers because frankly, all the ones I've come across bore me senseless. But I do browse YouTube for videos of what people are wearing in cities all around the world.

But also, it sounds like you have a resource right on your doorstep and I would definitely initiate some conversations with your son's girlfriend. You don't have to ask her to go shopping with you right out but you could say things like, 'I love your outfit - where's it from?' / 'That's a lovely top' / 'Great jeans, would you mind if I bought something similar?' etc etc.

And congrats on the weight loss.

The Telegraph does great fashion too. It’s fairly easy tio look at fashion, but the key to looking stylish is knowing what looks great on you. Skinny jeans were not me either! I’m very much a jeans person, but how they fit and whether they suit you does matter.

@Floisme The OP has already stated that she doesn't want to copy the girlfriend so clearly, saying asking where her outfit is from or "would you mind if I bought something similar?" is not likely to be an option. I think the average fashion conscious 25 year old would find that a bit weird, to be honest.

Wanting to bring your look up to date doesn't have to mean being a slave to fashion marketing that is aimed at women half your age. But therein lies the difference between fashion and style.

I'm not going to continue the conversation here @PyreneanAubrie - not because I wouldn't enjoy talking about it (I would) but because the op has asked for specific advice, not for me and you to pontificate on the meaning of style. Me, I'd feel perfectly comfortable asking a 25 year old those questions but the op can make up her own mind.

I'll just mention again that, if you want ideas / inspiration without anyone trying to sell you stuff, and especially if you don't get many opportunities to people watch, my favourite time waster at the moment is searching 'street style' on YouTube and then browsing videos (often with the sound turned off) of what people of all ages are wearing in any part of the world that takes my fancy.

The search results can be heavily London / Paris / New York / Milan focussed so I sometimes seek out other places at random e.g. Tokyo or Lagos or Reykjavik.

Instagram do similar. Be warned, it's very addictive! Mind you, the influencers are starting to move in so I'm not sure how much longer it'll be good.

Just buy a decent magazine!