Funeral outfit

[ascothelp]

Lost a close friend very unexpectedly, we’re both young (mid 30s), I haven’t been to a funeral since I was about 10 and wasn’t expecting to have to go to any for a good few years.

Anything black I already own is LBD territory and not suitable. Can’t think straight and figure out what I need to buy. Size 16, 5’10” and quite busty. Help!

I am so sorry for your loss. Can you borrow anything? I think a LBD with a jacket over or smart cardigan can work. Or anything dark -navy or grey or brown. In general think of it needing to be relatively formal and sober. Depending on the style of the person and their family. I have been to funerals with a request to be bright.

Thanks @NCGrandParent, that’s good to know.

I don’t really care about looking stylish, i just want to be respectful. The funerals I went to as a child were very old people, so still sad of course but not as shocking and unexpected as the circumstances of this so I just want to make sure I am doing the right thing.

Hobbs will likely have the kind of thing you need.

sorry for your loss.

last funeral I went to I wore black work trousers with a black cardie done up. (A fitted crew neck cardie so done up like a slim fitting jumper). I have a dark purple silk top on underneath in case it was too hot for the cardie (was in the summer).

if you have smart black or grey trousers, perhaps easier to just find a smart black long sleeved top or fine knit.

Check with the family, but don't overthink. Most people nowadays just wear office smart, subdued, outfits. So black, navy or grey trousers or skirt, with a shirt or blouse, jumper or coat.

I've normally worn a black or dark grey patterned jersey dress with black cardigan, tights and shoes. Dresses are to my knee or longer. In the past I've also worn black trousers and jacket.

I'm sorry about the loss of your friend.

I'm so sorry for your loss. How very sad and hard to lose someone so young and so unexpectedly.

At this time of year whatever you wear is likely to be covered by a coat, and most coats are likely to be fine for a funeral, even burgundy, bottle green or purple.
Do check though that the request hasn't been made to avoid sombre attire.The, thankfully few, funerals I'm aware of for younger people have asked to avoid black for example.
I am sorry you have lost a special friend at such a young age.

Black jersey midi dress from M&S is my go to for funerals

Can wear the dress with shoes and maybe a blazer in warmer weather, and tights and a coat for winter funerals - really versatile and not expensive.

In general though, modest clothing in a black/grey/navy colour palate is fine, a white blouse with dark trousers/skirt is also fine

I don't think that funerals are as 'black' as they used to be. Anything that is sombre in colour and not too nightclub is fine. Often bright colours or no black necessary for younger people.

Anything reasonably smart and not in a super bright colour will be fine. Last funeral I went to I wore a jersey Mountain Warehouse dress that's mainly green with red and black flowers.

I'm a similar size and bustiness.
I fine a shirt dress suits me well.
I wore black "silky" one with a white cross cross pattern to the last funeral I went to, a few months ago.

I'm similar build (shorter though) and I'm wearing this to my mum's funeral. It's plain and smart and not too expensive. It's quite a bit below the knee on me so would be just below on you. It's quite tight, so I had to size up one size (normally a 14, got a 16).
I found this at John Lewis & Partners. What do you think?  https://www.johnlewis.com/john-lewis-taylor-ponte-short-sleeve-dress/black/p110829199?tmad=c&tmcampid=7&sshare=jlappios&size=16&&_Y29tLmFwcGxlLlVJS2l0LmFjdGl2aXR5LkNvcHlUb1Bhc3RlYm9hcmQ=

https://www.marksandspencer.com/jersey-midi-column-dress/p/clp60679577#intid=pid_pg1pip32g2r6c1|prodflag_plp_ts_CBS_5

I bought this soft black jersey dress from M&S for just under £30. Very good value & can be worn again for other occasions styled differently. Size up as it's a fitted column shape and I wore an M&S cool comfort slip underneath so the dress flowed beautifully.

I wore it with a black jacket, ankle boots & discreet jewellery.

Thanks everyone for your suggestions.

For people who suggested asking the family- is that really okay when they are in the midst of grieving? Genuinely asking as I have no clue about these things. I would have thought that was deeply inappropriate, but I am probably wrong!

I wouldn't. If they had any particular requests they would have put it out there. I suspect if I was grieving I would be quite irritated to be asked about what to wear.

No don't ask the family. Honestly any dark, office type clothes will be fine. And as others have said you'll be wearing a coat which will almost certainly be black, navy, brown, green or khaki. Puffer style coats are fine if you don't have a tailored coat.

My sister has just passed away (but expected so not quite so much of a shock)

I really won't care what people wear to her funeral

I will assume they will wear what they think she would have found appropriate or just somber clothing

It's not going to be a happy bright event so I'd be if someone were to come in bright clothing

Don't over think it, just be there x