Haggard mum: I need a Glow Up! What did you do for yours?

[december2020]

I'm in my late 30s and holy fuck did I age in the past 4ish years after having DS.

My body shape changed and nothing fits right, both my old clothes and going to stores to try find new ones. I'm about 116 lbs, which is fine, but closer to 110 lbs is probably a bit more 'normal' for me as I'm very short. However, nothing seems to fit this new body shape and make me look a bit more chic.

I've started to see an increase in grey hairs poking through but I'm allergic to hair dye and my skin feels so wrinkly and tired. I have started dermatica for the redness and it has helped immensely so there has definitely been improvements.

I desperately need a glow up to get back to the old me! I look and feel so ragged.

But something I can fit around full time work, long commutes, pick ups and drop offs and family life. We have no family close by so it's just me and DH who rely on each other to make sure we each get a bit of 'me time'.

Help me! What did you do that made all the difference?

I recommend asking for your post to be moved to Style & Beauty where there are lots of helpful people to give advice.

It’s great that you have started Dermatica, does your prescription include Tretinoin? It’s a miracle cream, but a marathon not a sprint. I fell the down the Korean skincare rabbit hole alongside Tret which also made a huge difference, there are some very helpful Facebook groups if you’re not sure where to start.

Botox.

Maybe a tinted moisturiser to use each morning for skin tone evening, i like Boots number 7.
Would a root touch up powder work for greys? Colour wow do one.
I do nail wraps each week, just having my nails nice makes me feel better.
I'm also liking miceller milk each morning for cleansing and aveeno oat gel moisturiser

I'd suggest using a, moisturising face mask. You can get creamy ones that aren't too obvious so you can go around doing your daily stuff without anyone laughing.

My skin care is very basic as I rarely wear makeup up. Morning is washing with microfibre cloth, then serum I'm currently using L'Oréal niacinamide and aloe, which really reduced scarring when i burnt my hand. Finally a thick moisturiser from Lidl. If I go out I add a factor 50 moisturiser.

In the evening cleanse with same sort of cloth, then serum as per morning and then dermatica including tret. Finally Nivea Q10 night cream

I'd a face mask rough once a week

I'm 60 but still pass as my 7 year old grandson's mother .( Inside though I'm falling apart)

Don't worry about go grey, just think of the alternative, and calling it silver is a much more positive thought.

Thank you so much @BangingOn - I got the thread moved to S&B based on your recommendation!
They haven't included Tret in mine (yet at least). Instead, I got given the combo that is mainly used for rosacea. It has helped a lot, and my face feels a lot more moisturised. But it does still feel wrinkled and tired. Or maybe it's just me who is tired ha! What K-beauty would you currently recommend?

@Blanketyre this is also a serious consideration - especially when I hit 40!

@NeedthatFridayfeeling - thank you so much! Oooh what nail wraps would you recommend? This could definitely give me a small spruce up!

@GettingStuffed this is wonderful thank you! and wow!! I think at the moment I pass as my son's grandma rather than his mum!!

Is there anything I can do with my style and clothing? Nothing old fits right, nothing new in the stores fit right. It's so disheartening so I live in ill fitting clothes that just make me look dishevelled!

I use lily and fox (Aus site) nails on the run and holy grail nail (both UK) i find them really easy to use, no drying time and so cheap (L&F only £1.99 a set)
I'd use a base coat to help them adhere and a quick dry top coat but that's personal preference.
I usually do them in an evening after my daughter has gone to bed, my quiet time, but sometimes during the day when she's out with my husband or off playing.

@december2020 you’re very welcome! I’d recommend this Facebook group and searching for rosacea for specific recommendations https://www.facebook.com/groups/578648749542978/ (if the link doesn’t work then search Tretinoin and retinoids users: tips, products and routine help.

What style of clothes do you like? When you say you’d like to look more chic, is there any person in particular who comes to mind?

Hi OP,

In terms of body, join a gym class that focuses on strength. Your body shape will change over time and nothing will make you slim and toned like it.

Tret is obviously amazing. I would also recommend Corsyx BHA Black power liquid one day a week and invest in some decent serums. For moisturiser, Cerave is cheap and fantastic.

Elf Halo Glow foundation is fab for making you look fresh and glowy and get a nice cream blusher to go with it:)

Do you have clothes you like or a brand that works? If so what about Vinted? I buy my clothes from there.

Grooming is essential for me now, gone are the days I can just scrape my hair back and not worry about make up/nails. As shallow as it is, freshly washed hair, make up and a quick file and polish really do make me feel a bit more pulled together…

Style wise I’m trying to be much more disciplined when buying clothes. I’ve got a much more muted wardrobe and every item goes with everything else… it means I don’t have to spend ages deciding what to wear and I always feel more considered in my appearance. I struggle for inspiration so follow a few people on Instagram of similar ages and allow myself to be influenced if they look particularly lovely 😂

Don't forget to drink plenty water. The older I get the more I notice I huge difference to my complexion and overall wellbeing when I don't drink enough. I look more haggared and my skin is dull and I feel sluggish and knackered.

John Lewis offer free sessions with stylists! Never done it but might be a good way to feel confident with fashion again. I’ve been feeling the same lately - I feel like I’ve aged 10 years since having my daughter 18months ago. I’ve found that blusher/bronzer really helps lift my face and make me look a bit fresher & less drained. Also an eyebrow pencil to just give a bit of contrast. And as PP have said as much moisture into your skin as possible, I find serums work well.

I have used a John Lewis Stylist a few times. They've all been good.

They talk to you on the phone and then choose some outfits that they think will work for you. Then they get more and more options while you're there, refining choices as you try stuff on and talk about what works/doesn't.

There is no pressure to buy all or a lot (or any, though I'd find that hard!) of the stuff, and anything you do buy you can return if you change your mind.

I have sometimes bought a lot from JL and then spent some time searching for cheaper alternatives. Then if I've found cheaper alternatives I can return the JL item!

Its a bit like shopping with a friend, but they're totally focused on you and know what's in stock so can fetch helpful items