I have no idea what to wear

[annaspanner18]

I generally buy things from the next sale if it looks 'ok'. I'm overweight and late 40's but weight is coming down slowly and am now a 14.

Casual office so jeans etc are the norm. I just feel scruffy all the time.

Hoping for signposts as to where to look for ideas on putting outfits together and places to shop. People seem to get bargains off Vinted but I've no idea what I'm looking for... I've tried insta for 'style over 40' but get some random things that don't speak to me.

Grateful for any signposts,

Well … Who are you? What do you enjoy wearing? What do you own that thrills you? What’s your lifestyle - does casual office wear predominate or are there other important things you need clothes for? And do your friends / colleagues all wear Next too, or are they kitted out in Boohoo or Gucci?

I have to say there are far more exciting sales to explore than Next. And if you spend time browsing ‘better’ clothes sites you won’t need influencers to tell you how to put outfits together.

For instance - for styling I adore Cecilie Bahnsen and MiuMiu and Horror Vacui and Zara but rarely buy from any of them. For actual clothes l like Marni and Rohe and La Fetiche and Community Clothing and Margaret Howell and Sofie D’Hoore and Toogood and Rachel Comey and Co Collections and Maison Margiela amongst a hundred others. Sometimes new, often on sale, sometimes pre-owned. I’ve valued hand me downs from family members and picked up treasured t shirts on market stalls. I’ve felt a total failure at life in a £1k suit, and been stopped in the street by an admiring French man when I was wearing a second hand jacket and Primark joggers.

I’m more than a decade older than you, an optimistic size 10 and slightly shorter than average. But I get dressed purely for the pleasure of it.

You haven't given much to go on.
Is there any character on television or film you like?

Throwing this out randomly- Lesley Manville's character in The Magpie Murders. Or Lesley Manville in real life. Ok she's older than you (although that's largely irrelevant)but she's stunningly stylish.

Or Dorothy Atkinson's DCS Shaw in Ludwig? Or Anna Maxwell Martin's character in Ludwig. Or Selena Gomez's Mabel in Only Murders in the Building.

On the high street, Nobody's Child and Anthropology , Whistles and Jigsaw are better than Next. They are safe- in the sense that it won't frighten the horses and that if they are selling it, you can assume it's generally in style. Cos is better than them- most of Cos won't frighten the horses and if Cos is selling it, you can assume it's in style.

For not on the high street this is an exceptionally good independent boutique. The owners Jane Forbes and her daughter Kim gather clothes from loads of brands and designerd. Some of it's pricey, but not all of it. They can only stock a small selection of the designers they stock but if you like anything you can look up the designer's own site. I have no connection to the shop other than over many years I've learnt a lot from Jane and she's sold me lots of fantastic clothes.

Frontiers

Thank you all for taking the time to reply.

I know I haven't given much to go on - I'm a bit identity- less style wise and looking for inspiration. I've been wearing mostly black, safe, covers the lumps and bumps for a decade. My kids are all older now and I have time to be a bit more invested in my appearance, diet and exercise.

My life is mainly the office, the gym, or my comfies at home. I wear jeans or dresses to the office with chunky boots or trainers. Whenever I have to go anywhere (a book launch, a gig, a couples meal out) I panic.

I'll defo have a look at the brands suggested (I did buy a dress for a summer wedding from Nobody's Child recently) - and follow Lesley Manville on insta!

I would plan a shopping day somewhere with a range of shops and go and try stuff on. Seeing what other people are wearing/trying on in shops is always helpful for me and the display stands are good for ideas

Colenimo has a physical shop although I've only bought online.
Colenimo

Phyisical and online shop
Biscuit

Gather and See does exactly what it says on the tin.
Gather and See

Physical and online shops if money is no problem
Envoy of Belfast
Dick's Edinburgh

My life is mainly the office, the gym, or my comfies at home. I wear jeans or dresses to the office with chunky boots or trainers. Whenever I have to go anywhere (a book launch, a gig, a couples meal out) I panic

Something I read on here a while back was to think in terms of actual events or occasions when you're buying new clothes.
So rather than just picking up a top because it fits you, and then realising you don't own anything it will go with, picture the meal out or the gig and buy accordingly. It definitely helps avoid that last minute panic.

I saw this brand on another thread and wondered if it might appeal to you for the non-work events you’re struggling find clothes for:

https://www.maisonh.com

It reminded me of both:

Free People

and

Isabel Marant

Don’t know if you’ve shopped at either? The first is a vast multi-brand site of more or less faux-bohemian clothes. I’ve occasionally followed up a brand found there and been pleased to find there are genuine humans behind the name. It’s certainly worth browsing occasionally. Isabel Marant is definitely human, with an admirable history of designing for women. The headline pieces are expensive but the Etoile range is cheaper. Excellent quality and last ages. Have a look.

@ANagsHead thank you. Looks out of my budget but good for inspiration, some beautiful pieces.

Which do you mean? If you can shop from Nobody’s Child it’s unlikely that everything in the Free People sale is beyond your budget.

All the labels I’ve mentioned can probably be found pre-owned!

Try going back on Vinted and liking anything that you feel fits your style.
The algorithim will start recommending things you might like. Ive found its actually pretty good at working out what I might like!

and dont worry about having to style yourself as 'over forty'. There is no age limit on individual style....just spend some time working out what colours and styles really speak to you.

@henlake7 I spent the weekend on Vinted after looking at some of the websites shared by @ANagsHead and others... I've selected items and brands, and the algorithm is working 👍

On the way - a cord skirt, 3 dresses (phase 8/fat face/baukjen), a mint velvet jacket, some jeans and wide leg trousers. Some may end up getting resold but I'm hopeful of some success 🤞.