God help me and my hair ☹️

[Hairyhellfromhellsville]

I'm despairing with my fine, thinning, greying, split to buggery, flyaway, wavy, dry, frizzy mess.

It's always been hard to manage but I used to have a lot of it and could generally do something with it.

I was anaemic following blood loss and surgery a few years back and it all started to fall out. Not helped by menopause now. Exacebated by going through extreme trauma for years, caring for someone with a horrific long term illness, now deceased. I am sensitive skinned and cannot have it permanently coloured. I was colouring it with temp colour which had the greys under control, and the conditioner it came with did make it look lovely to start with, but I worry even that is wrecking what I've got left so have stopped. Psyching myself up to post pics but it ain't pretty!

It used to look it's best when camping by the sea and left to dry naturally. Redken products seemed to help but I can't really afford high end products or treatments, though I do buy good shampoos, leave to dry naturally and have been using a variety of expensive oils and leave in conditioners, but none really seem to do much.

I have a horse so I ride every day always under a sweaty hat and at the mercy of the elements. I cannot wear it down and really only ever scrape it into a low bun. Even then, my thinning front area is causing me a lot of angst, I have so many frizzy flyaways and the tonal differences with my greying bits just seem to make the thinness even more noticeable. I seem to also be receding which is an unexpected hell. I tried cutting it short but its so fly away and frizzy it was horrific not to be able to hide a bad hair day. So it needs to be a certain length to be able to tie back but I know this is damaging it too. Feel caught in a viscious circle and not sure there's anything I can do without spending £££.

I don't think a pixie cut would suit my facial features but am considering this and wearing a wig. But I've no idea how that would work with a riding hat. Feeling really embarrassed and sorry for myself as recently single after 25 year relationship and just look a wreck. I used to be considered really attractive, which I know is really superficial of me, but it's making me really sad. I can cope with wrinkles and looking older but my hair is causing me the most stress.

Not sure what I'm asking for really. I've no idea where to turn in rl for support in finding a wig, or the costs involved, so any pointers there would be really appreciated.

No advice as my hair only looks good when I've just been to the hairdressers. Does your hairdresser have any suggestions of what might help/ look best?

I've not seen a hairdresser in years 😳
But they really just say there's not much they or I can do, they won't colour treat and advise against heat styling. They tend to just cut off the worst of it, style it a bit, but it never looks great even then! Hence wanting a wig! Would love to hear about any wig experiences.

Just a thought, if it is fizzy and unmanageable, could it actually be naturally wavy/curly and you haven't realised? I spent years treating my hair as straight hair, and it was a nightmare. Then a hairdresser pointed out that it might be because it is actually curly but being damaged by heat and the wrong routine. Lo and behold it's curly! I stopped dyeing it, embraced the grey and now treat it like curly hair. It's much better- might be worth a shot?

Yes it is curly and definitely better when treated as curly. It's just the curly strands are now so thin it just looks all scrawny and wispy. I think I've just got to come to terms and accept it somehow.

My fringe needs protecting though and really I should loose clip it back so it doesn't just go feral outdoors, but clips don't work under a hat and I look like a moose with a headband/alice band type thing. Maybe I should just embrace doing this though, for a bit and see if the condition improves.

Following as my hair is very similar. I've treated my long term hair loss with Regaine, but the regrowth is very fine, breaks easily and is frizzy and grey. I suspect it is curly but I need to use a hairdryer otherwise the roots look awful. I've been wondering about using volumising curl products with a diffuser?

I just get curly perms now. My hair has always been wavy but not a nice wavy. It takes a perm really well. I also wear scarves, turbans and extra thick headbands

It might be worth finding a hairdresser who specialises in hair loss. This is what helped me the most. My hairdresser helps clients work with the hair they have and, if needed, to source wigs and hairpieces. She also trims wigs and hairpiece to suit clients. There are also some good sources of support on YouTube and Instagram, I like Mel's be ageless

Yes this sounds very similar - I do have some regrowth but it's either very fine and brittle or wirey and grey. All a lot shorter than the rest so adds to the frizz!

Sadly I think a perm is not on the cards for the same reason as permanent colour - skin wouldn't tolerate it and I'd be worried about damage tbh.

Thank you 😊 this looks really helpful, I may try this

For thinning hair I’ve read good things about this Growth serum
I haven’t personally used it, but am considering it.
(I have fine / thin hair that breaks very easily.)
I have used these products and they do work for me in terms of helping with volume.
Texture mist
Volumising spray
Volume foam

I’ve also just ordered some ColorWow products to try.

I wonder if you could try for a trichologist appt, to get to the root of the issue? Are your iron levels normal now, and your B vit levels? Also could you wear a scarf under your riding hat? It worked for the Queen 😃
I think professional advice would be a good place to start @EdithCavell recommendation would be great.

It used to look it's best when camping by the sea and left to dry naturally. Redken products seemed to help but I can't really afford high end products or treatments

I am of the view that if you have a Holy Grail product stick with it , if you try and find a substitute you often end up trying one product after another and waste money with poor results .

My menopausal greying hair went through a similar massive hair loss after I was ill , it was like sparse cotton wool sticking out at the back of my head .

Coconut oil is often recommended but it brings my scalp out in painful itchy scabby lumps .
Moroccon Oil works well on mine or of I have more time , Olaplex .

I have waves now where it grew back .I try to keep it at shoulder length , if it gets too long my scalp hurts .
I don't dye my hair I really don;t want to go back to that , but I use Bleach London toner .

I can appreciate your hair and scalp gets more impact from your riding hat , which you have no choice with . Would a silk liner help ( I don;t know if its even a real thing but I;m sure there's something for people who wear motorbike helmets ) ,

Oh actually, yes, I agree trichologist might be good, and plenty of the hairdressers who specialise in hair loss-like mine - have some qualifications in trichology too, so best of both worlds. Good luck!

Also could you wear a scarf under your riding hat? It worked for the Queen 😃

HRH Queen Elizabeth II didn't wear a riding hat though except in some of her very early (teenage) pictures .

Her personal choice but not a good example for her to set as she was a well respected equestrian .

Thanks all, some really helpful suggestions here, much appreciated 😊

You could try an oatmeal + olive oil + rosemary hair mask. Warm the mixture, apply to hair and scalp and cover with a shower cap for a few hours. Rinse well.

It will definitely soothe your scalp and condition your hair and do no harm. I've added an egg too before now - but that really takes some rinsing.

Other herbs such sage, marjoram, camomile and marshmallow also work well.

I think like others have said, get advice from a professional.

I know you say you can’t afford certain products but it really does make a difference what you use on your hair. My hair was constantly breaking and snapping off a few years back, it looked awful. I now use Redken and my hair is so much thicker and in much better condition. Shop around, look at different sites, often the 1000ml bottles although expensive upfront are so much better value than the usual 300ml bottles. I buy from a site called Capital Hair and Beauty, they are well priced and stock loads of different brands. I have just bought a blow dry cream and serum off there from a brand ‘IQ Intelligent’ they are really good, my hair feels thicker after using and are only about £5 each.

I also recommend you try collagen powder, and a multi-vitamin each day, esp. look for iron and b vitamins and selenium. You could also try a silk bonnet to sleep in to protect your hair, and this might fit under your riding hat too.

I hope you find something that works soon x

I would say leave a lot of those hair products alone as the latest info is that they contradict one another and only add more unwanted chemicals to the hair. Try to eat lots of protein and eat well and leave hair alone for a bit.
But when you are ready you might find Daniel Field hair colour gentle for you
https://www.danielfield.com/watercolour - no chemicals etc
My hair has thinned over the years bur recently due to trying to eat better and taking collagen and bioten i have seen an improvement.

I also have a hair problem- it is thin and fine, and I despair about what to do with it. I do have a pixie cut, it is the easiest to cope with. I use volumising mousse or gel after shampooing, and dint use hairdryers or straighteners. Apparently, rosemary oil diluted with other oil rubbed into the scalp is helpful and as good as regaine, and a lot cheaper. I agree with others about the specialised hairdressers and perhaps visit a trichologist, but I imagine that will be very expensive. Are you on HRT,btw.?

Merwave has changed my hair from a frizzy uncontrollable mess to natural defined waves. Yes it is expensive (£60 for the kit) but I only use the products once a week (and a little to refresh in the mornings) so that has lasted 5 months so far and stopped me wasting £££ on serums that just don't work.

Would you be willing to post a photo? You may get some style/cut suggestions?

Also iron. I had a lot of hairless early in peri. Mix of thyroid/heavy periods/borderline iron.
Started taking iron (2 x 210 ferrous fumarate.. you can get otc) and has made a huge difference. And don't just believe any blood test that say your iron is within "normal" range..if you are at the lowere end of the "normal" range...so 30-50...ypu are in reality below ideal. The range is out of whack for women past 40.

I lost a lot of hair & had thinning due to illness. I took vitamin B super complex daily. Also use L'Occitane strength & volume shampoo. The rosemary in it is what I believe the "magic" ingredient for regrowth. After 2 weeks the hair loss had majorly reduced and I started seeing actual regrowth after 2 months. 2 years later it's thick & healthy again. It's what worked for me. It's mainly natural ingredients & has a light, clean herby smell.

A colleague used to swear by their Repair & Protect shampoo & conditioner.

My friend who has baby fine hair which thinned further aftern menopause tried absolutely everything. All the things listed above and then some. She finally paid to see a trichologist. I don't think it was terribly expensive and trying all sorts of different things really previously adds up anyway.

The trichologist, I think, wrote to her doctor because she now gets it from her GP as a repeat prescription. I'm pretty sure it is free as she's over 60. It's not a miracle worker but it is certainly working.

If you are dark haired and want to blend in greys a bit, and obviously are prepared to try a semi-permanent again, I'd recommend Bleach's Fade to Grey. It was a life saver when I was trying to go grey and growing out colour.

For what it's worth, I thought going to my natural grey and not using colour any more would improve the condition of my very dry hair. It hasn't. My hair is drier than ever before and harder work to get smooth.