I have no style

[Uniformed]

Just that really. I have no style and no idea how to find it. I believe my biggest problem is I have a bit of a tummy and post two pregnancies, one c-section it's very much an apron belly, but not soft, fat, so it bulges. I'm 5'9" and about a size 14-16, more on the 16 side at the moment. My boobs are quite big, my upper arms are a bit flabby. I have a waist and my legs are long and fairly slim.

However I think my shape means nothing looks good. Form fitting to show my hourglass shape also emphasises my big boobs and my belly. Baggy makes me look bigger. Boxy and short tops just expose my belly. Peplum or similar emphasise my belly/look like I'm hiding it.

Mini length dresses can look good, especially wrap style, but it's hard to find mini that's not too short - my boobs and height mean most sit a bit higher than they're meant to, and I haven't had much luck with tall ranges, which seem to be limited. I also can't wear a mini dress for work and unless on the beach feel really uncomfortable having that much leg out. When I wear a midi or maxi length dress I think I look really frumpy as I'm basically covering up any part of me that's slim! I like the look of midi dresses and boots but it looks frumpy on me and I don't know how to style. I don't like sleeveless due to my upper arms, shirt dresses with lapels often don't button without gaping and the lapels make my shoulders and boobs look bigger. Same issues with tucking in a top - belly is out. High waist pleated wide leg trousers I feel again like I'm covering up my slimmer part and necessarily need to wear something more fitting on top - where you guessed it, my belly is out. High neck and my boobs look enormous, too low and they're hanging out.

I guess this is more of a me issue but I think everything looks better on someone slimmer with smaller boobs. Wide leg trousers, maxi dresses - they drape and glide over a smaller body. Whereas everything is uncomfortable to me. I've drawn my rough shape, the belly is fat and last year when I lose weight to about a size 12 it was still prominent, though I felt more confident about my arms so wore a slightly bigger range. I also don't know how to accessorise beyond I wear earrings sometimes.

I'm only 34, I used to be quite alternative/emo/rock style (not goth) and now find a lot of high street stuff too preppy and floral. But I just live in skinny jeans (which I'm sure make me look top heavy, but looser I feel makes me look bigger) and a black vneck t-shirt from long tall sally which is the only women's t-shirt that doesn't end at the bloody navel that I've found in a long time. So my uniform looks shit too. How on earth am I meant to find any style or buy clothes when nothing sits right

Following with interest as I am in the same boat almost identical in size and height. I’m also a 36H and hate my boobs or any cleavage.

I think from the front I look best in waist cinching things as it creates that hourglass shape and shows my waist, but it’s horrific from the side because of my low apron belly, it looks really bad. I’ve watched endless ‘apron belly styling’ TikTok’s and YouTube videos but mine sits so low and theirs just seems to scoop up nicely into underwear and clothes!! I also despise peplum as I feel it just screams ‘I’m fat in the middle trying to hide it!’ So then I wear loose T-shirts that cover the apron belly from the side but that’s all I wear, and it has zero shape so I worry I look like I’m in pj’s all the time.

I’ve been wearing straight/wide leg trousers from River Island a lot. I don’t even own any skinny jeans anymore, I think if I saw my tummy in them I’d have a breakdown.

interested to see if anyone has tips or advice!

Hopefully someone has some ideas!

Agree cinched in waist looks best from front, or top tucked into higher waist bottoms, but the moment I sit down or turn to the side I just can't bear it. I only wear skinny jeans with tops long enough to skim over my tummy/hide it - but then they kinda hang off my boobs rather than hanging nicely like on a small boobed model. Nonetheless I don't think skinnies are doing my much favours.

I think a lot of midsize influences don't really show a full side or sitting view so when I try and copy it doesn't work. Agree their apron part seems to be soft and squished too rather than sticking out. I'd love to just not care because wearing something stylish with a tummy probably looks better than no style and still having a tummy!

I have thought some decent slightly held in knickers would help but haven't been able to find any that don't make me look pregnant.

I'm a similar height and size to you, but smaller boobs, and my stomach bulge is higher, mostly from diastasis recti from 4 pregnancies. It's funny, because you say you feel tops don't hang as well on you as on the smaller boobed models, but I feel envious of women with larger boobs, as I think it looks so much better if the boobs stick out further then the stomach! My stomach sticks out further than my boobs unless I suck it in, and I feel self conscious about that.

The single best thing I've done for my sense of style is to train myself not to care, even to try to like my 'problem' areas, because in the end, I have them as a result of growing and giving birth to 4 beautiful babies.

Check out the Manners London website. They make clothes for all shapes and sizes and promote body positivity for all types of looks. Each piece is photographed on models of all sizes, including larger models, but also slender and mid-size models like yourself, all looking gorgeous, lumps and bumps and all. And the best bit is all their clothes are made with thick, stretchy cotton that can be worn without a bra, even for the those with the biggest boobs. I have a few of their things now, and I feel fabulous when I wear them, and it done wonders for my confidence! Quite expensive, but I've lucked out on Vinted a few times too. I find myself wearing much more fitted and appealing clothes now generally, and accepting my shape.

I've also come to the firm conclusion that people look so much better when not trying to cover up bumps in loose clothes. I think it makes us look bigger. Most women who've had children have a belly... Let's all stop desperately trying to disguise it. Then we'll realise how normal it is and not hate ourselves so much!

I have the same shape but much shorter and as I've hit peri it's just got worse.

Genuinely the secret is to try not to care. I tuck now, I cinch waists to show the waist etc. I avoid the side view.

I still do care and some holiday photos really upset me. But I can't do anything about it (this is my shape at a 10 or an 18). So I am trying really hard to wear what I like.

Trousers are the worst - by their very nature they highlight my worst bits. But I still wear them because they are easy and practical. I do tend to size up just so they skim not cling.

I agree with you on the influencer. No side view and they always wear a bloody coat. What is the point in styling an outfit where normal people take off the most flattering part!

I relate to a bit of this as I’m apple shaped with a big bust and it’s hard to find the right clothes especially now skinny jeans aren’t really in and although we can on wear what we want, and I do still wear skinnies, my eye has adjusted and they often don’t seem quite right.

Have you looked at the Melissa Murrell body masterclasses?
https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PL_weaYXpld85LqIZvIodxiRjWYu-easIL&si=qgwmp776RE7jTq9R. She tends to work with women older than 34 but there might be some tips.

Accepting what you said about the height issue, I have a similar body shape and find A-line skirts which sit 2inch above the knee work for me, with a straight-cut top or plain fine knit top.

Basically a mini, but not too mini. Boden are good with lots available on Vinted.

This book is old now but is so helpful! It goes through all the different body types and how to dress them, including hour glass with a tummy.
It really helped me.