Mid 30s in need of wardrobe revamp!

[ScarletDreams]

😩 I have never been the most confident and so my wardrobe has always been somewhat low key, drab and, well, just basic and boring! Think black leggings and dark loose t shirts!

Every summer I see all you beautiful ladies rocking the most stunning summer outfits and you all look amazing.
Im desperate for some new clothes since having my DD last year as nothing fits me any more. My confidence has taken a hit recently with how my body has changed post pregnancy and I feel like my partner doesn't give me a second look anymore.
and so there I was this morning browsing ( or attempting to) online for some new clothes and I found myself looking at the basic/ boring stuff I always buy and it was starting to get me down.
I'd love to push myself out of my comfort zone to try and revamp my wardrobe, But I just dont know where to start!
Please, ladies, help point me in the right direction 🙏 where do you shop for clothes? Are there any staple wardrobe must haves ? I'm 34 and a size 10/12 now and I feel like I have completely lost touch with fashion/style.
Any help would be greatly appreciated.

Get a silk dress from here:

Realisation Par

Get a babysitter.

Take your partner out for cocktails. Life will suddenly seem more colourful.

Work out your budget, and what you need clothes for and then either go to a shop that seems to be suitable (browse online) and ask the assistants to help. Or book a personal shopper. Or if you have a friend who could help? 'Must haves' depend on your lifestyle, so dont let anyone persuade you into loads of floaty dresses if you dog walk/horse ride 80% of the day

Thanks , I'll have a look online. I think this is my problem, I seem to live in dog walking outfits and so I have no nicer clothes for when we go out anywhere and I want to look a bit more done up and pretty I guess.

Do you know what colours suit you? Understanding that has made shopping much easier for me.

Size 10/12. You don't say how tall or your colouring but why don't you start with a dress and shoes, and a pair of wide leg trousers and a top.

Can you go shopping physically? Somewhere you can try things on. You don't have to buy but remind yourself what shapes suit you best. Put a day aside and take time. Don't rush.

A bit like skincare, I think upgrading your wardrobe is something you do over time. You can't do a complete overhal and change your style in one go without a huge amount of effort, cost and confidence.

So in your case, young mum, dogs etc, I'd focus on upgrading day to day for a start - so instead of leggings and a loose t-shrt, invest in a couple of pairs of good jeans that you can still wear every day. You could buy some fairly standard ones and that would look fine, or see what is a bit more fashionable - the high waisted, front pocket, wide legged style are really nice and look good on people your size.

Ditto, invest in a couple of tops/t-shirts that are just that much nicer than a bog standard t-shirt, and find ones that fit well. Maybe something with a pattern, or an interesting neckline or shoulder detail. As we're getting close to winter, one or two nice jumpers that are still good for everyday can really up your game without making you feel like you're overdressed.

Also buy a couple of pairs of shoes that aren't basic trainers - doesn't have to be fancy, I have a few pairs of ankle boots from Sainsburys that I wear constantly. They're comfortable, relatively inexpensive and I can slip them on very easily for day to day wear.

Then, as you feel a bit more confident, think about times when that sort of casual comfort is less important. Do you regualrly go out for sunday lunch? Perhaps some nice trousers that make a bit of a statement or a casual dress?

eg these jeans. YOu could still wear these every day without feeling overdressed, but they're definitely a bit more stylish than a pair of leggings.

For dog walking, perhaps more skinny jeans you can tuck your walking shoes/boots into.

@Triffid1 , that’s really good advice and I struggle with this too! Where would you go for the type of interesting tops and good quality jumpers you mentioned?

@JulianAssangesCat that's a bit of a "how long is a piece of string" question! . And I am a size 16 with a limited budget so what works for me might not work for you.

Personally, if you've got a good department store near you, that's a good start. Think in advance about the kinds of colours you want to buy and your budget - eg if money is limited, prioritise mostly fairly neutral items that can be mixed and matched and think about a few additional colours. My wardrobe tends to be neutrals (cream, grey, whites) with pops of colour in blue/green/pink or variations.

If you want to go online, the Next website can be a bit overwhelming but you can be surprisingly specific. Eg I typed in "patterned tops" and got this page.

Jumpers - my cashmere jumpers have usually come from either Mint Velvet or John Lewis. Lots of people rave about M&S cashmere but the don't seem to work for me in terms of size or quality.

Other jumpers however I've bought a lot from M&S over the years. Uniqlo also does a selection of simple basic nice jumpers. Again, I've seen good jumpers on in John Lewis as well and have bought a few over the years there as well. If money was no object, I'd probably be buying all cashmere and from ridiculous brands!

if you want more fashion forward stuff, you have to look a bit harder, but this is all linked to by original advice to just upgrade in increments!

Can you go shopping physically? Somewhere you can try things on.

I would say the opposite. If the OP only has bog standard shops nearby she’ll end up with bog standard clothes. And far too many towns have almost no worthwhile shops left now - just the same half dozen chains stocking garish polyester and staffed by a teen who would rather be elsewhere.

You have the whole internet at your fingertips, @ScarletDreams. Make it a project, over perhaps a month, to explore as many online clothing sources as possible. Reacquaint yourself with all the endless possibilities - and see what appeals to you. Then, having taken all your measurements, and paying close attention to sizing, fabric, photographs, videos of garments on bodies, stitching, reviews if available, start to send for things you fall in love with and can see yourself wearing. Not too many at once - you need time to assess successes and interrogate the reasons for any failures. Always try things on with clothes you already have - you want your wardrobe to evolve gradually so it will really feel it’s yours.

I got my colours done professionally when I turned 40, was the best gift to myself, really helped in revamping my wardrobe.

I have no idea. I'm fair skinned so would assume cooler tones, but I got my hair colour cool ash blonde once and it really washed me out! I need to look in to this more really and learn what I am.

Thank you so much for the really helpful advice. It does sounds like the best way to go about it. I'm just so fed up in how I look now that I want a quick fix, but you're right I do need to take my time and do it gradually. Rushing and picking the wrong style for my shape or whatever I could really see knocking my confidence and sending me back to the bog standard clothes I'm wearing now. Those boots from Sainsbury's sound nice, I may have a nosey next time I'm there.

That's great advice, thank you. As you say, there's so much to consider and so many sources out there. It can be a little overwhelming, but I need to just slow down and break it all down. Thank you for taking the time to reply as your advice has been really helpful. I will be sure to make it a project and let myself evolve over time.

How did you go about this?

I felt exactly like this and had a style analysis done by Styled By Susie - she has lots of varying packages and you get a really detailed document with loads of suggestions - hopefully have managed to add some images from mine here so you can see what I mean. Definitely worth checking it out.Styled by Susie

I used House of Colour and picked someone near me who looked nice.

I did try online tests but I'm not one of those people who knows certain colours look great on me. I couldn't make my mind up

It turned out I'm a bright spring and look best in the most saturated bright colours. I have brown hair and (bright) brown eyes so not an obvious spring. It did trigger a slight existential crisis 😂 as I don't have a loud personality.

But in the end I figured it's not me that sees my clothes on me, it's mostly what other people see.

It really simplified things as I know the 8-10 colours that look best on me and those are mostly what I buy. It takes away a lot of guess work, makes shopping quicker and cheaper, and everything goes together so no more orphan items. Had loads of compliments. I went to an event the other day in a cheap dress in one of my colours and I had about five compliments from m/f strangers on the dress (admittedly all drunk but I'll take it).

I did Styled by Susie but they put me as an Autumn then shortly after I did HOC.

I like some of the SBS style guides, I think there's a basic wardrobe guide and a holiday guide, I found those useful in terms of what pieces are good to have. The SBS body shape guides are good too, although my gut feeling is that I am in-between. What worked for me in the end was deciding the one thing I want to not accentuate (my short waist) and use that as a guiding principle.

I agree with doing it over time...based on the SBS guides I think I got white trainers from John Lewis, jeans from M&S, white and blue t-shirts from Next and Gap. a long cardigan from M&S, a Joules hoody. I have a Boden shirt which is also a staple. I also bought two funky summer dresses from M&Co (Scamp and Dude-esque but cheaper), and a smarter cheap wrap dress from DBS. I'm now keen to invest more £ in dresses as I will wear these a lot in the coming summers.

I don't think MN likes them but I shop at Joe Browns for everyday basics. You can walk the dog in any trousers, so why not have something less awful than shabby ill-fitting leggings? That's my view. Check the fabric composition for some elastane for stretch (even 2% makes a difference) if you're child wrangling or horse riding, it'll be that bit more comfortable. Everything I have from there gets thrown in the wash at 40°C and it's fine. I'm not precious with clothes, if they wear out I buy more. Nothing gets hand washed or dry cleaned. I'm usually buying various kinds of trousers, fitted tees, a few jumpers and a cardigan for daily wear. Practical and casual enough for kids crafts, housework, dog walking, horse riding and still smart enough for the supermarket, café and pub lunch without feeling like a slob. Some of their dresses are nice too. The coats I find to be good quality, warm and last well. Don't be put off by all the brightly patterned stuff if it's not your thing, there's plenty of plain stuff too. Lots of synthetic fabric but also plenty of cotton if you prefer natural. You can get an outfit for about £75 full price and if you stick to one colour palette everything will mix and match. The sales you can get a bargain, look in the outlet section.

Go onto Pinterest, it's brilliant for outfit inspiration.

Pin all the outfits you like and would wear day to day, don't pin anything for your fantasy self just normal outfits you would like to wear. You'll see a pattern of what you like and what your style is.
Indyx have a style quiz that might be worth doing.

To find you skin tone you can either Google or check on Pinterest then you can see what colours suit you best, I don't stick to my colours religiously I shouldn't wear black but I love black so that's not going anywhere.

Once you know your style it'll be easier to go online/in-store and find what you want.

I'm in my 40s and shop from ASOS, h&m, depop, Zara. Right now I'm a sahm of 3 and we have a dog.
My style is very casual, edgy, grungy, boho.
Can't beat a decent pair of slim leg jeans, my favourites are the Levi's 501 skinnys, they can be dressed up or down, go with trainers, cons, dr boots, western ankle boots. They have a high percentage of cotton so hold my mum tum in.