Help an old hag

[HebburnPokemon]

At least that’s how I feel.

I’m in my 40s with peri-belly and no sense of style. I’m 5ft0 and size 12-14. I’m fairly active, eat healthy and have recovered from an eating disorder, so I’m at peace with my fat. My legs are the only slim part of me but I’ve accepted it. I have blonde highlights on my shoulder length hair. I have a round shaped face that I hate with fat looking cheeks. I normally wear false lashes to detract from my cheeks and I contour for the same reason but I think these practices are aging me now.

i used to fake tan and it did make me feel good, but the maintenance was too hard as I have psoriasis (the tan interfered with my cream medication) and the bed sheets!

Wise Mumsnetters, please advise. I feel disgusting. Beauty treatments? (Ombré brows? Botox?) Hair treatments? Clothing?

Rather than focus on the parts you dislike, focus on the parts you do like! You say you have good legs and you must like your eyes so find stuff that suits you, great eye make up, interesting shoes or trousers and skirt shapes that make your legs look great.

Not everyone is a blonde supermodel but we all have to get up in the morning and you might as well do it in style. I speak as a pale ginger who won't be seeing 40 again but I'm still here and I might as well look good too.

People won't notice the flaws you see in yourself, they will notice the parts you choose to emphasize. I have short hair so I've chosen to up my earring collection and I always get compliments on them.

You have value in yourself, you have a place in this world so occupy it with confidence. Don't bully yourself in your own head.

@HebburnPokemon you don’t say what sort of clothes / footwear you like.

Nor how much you want to spend.

It's awful seeing you hate yourself like this. Be kind to yourself - be the best friend you could ever have.

If your friend wore size 12 clothes and said she was disgusting, what would you say to her?

I get the fat cheeks thing, I had them until I hit the menopause and they've disappeared and I miss them. Remember people are having fillers to get the " chubby cheeks" look.

People put filler in their face to get cheeks like yours! 😁

Good hair always perks me up, fresh highlights, blowdry?

Teeth whitening also makes a great difference.

I'd love to say you don't need to do anything etc and we should all just feel good about ourselves but unfortunately that's not realistic and you've asked for help.

Hi everyone, thanks for replying!

focus on the parts you do like

Legs are shapley from years of ballet in childhood, they are probably my best feature. I wear a lot of dresses (mostly dresses actually, as they elongate my short body!) but I don't feel that they make me look 'put together' if that makes sense? I need advice on what colours/styles.

Not everyone is a blonde supermodel but we all have to get up in the morning and you might as well do it in style

Yes, I completely agree!

I'm sure there must be something I can do in the grooming/beauty department to look more put together?

*you don’t say what sort of clothes / footwear you like.

Nor how much you want to spend.*

I'm open to suggestions. Normally I wear dresses and mid-heel. My budget is middle ground.

people are having fillers to get the " chubby cheeks" look

I used to get called 'hamster' at school which gave me such a complex! I thought those types of people you refer to actually get the fat removed? Buckle fat removal.

fresh highlights, blowdry?

I get babylights every 2 months, it helps a little.